Inspiration Monday

A Little Bit of Time Away

So this time last week I was sitting around a bonfire on the banks of the St Croix river with Johnno, Edie, Edward, Bella, Valeska and a handful of new friends as we wrapped out the party weekend. It was chilly and we passed around a bottle of whiskey, some smores and just talked about random things...

We Sang Kumba

I already wrote about how I feel about vacations--I dont ever really take them because I am of the belief that my world will fall apart if I'm not here to over manage every part. Within hours of being back to work I was stressed and overwhelmed by random projects and my own expectations which wasnt what I wanted but what I allowed to let happen.

It wasnt until later when I was looking for a screen grab of some email I took that I found a slew of pictures I had taken while on the trip. Now usually I am bad at that--I have never been one to be so sentimental about things and cameras make my uncomfortable. But looking at the pictures it took me back to my trip and into that healthier and better head space.

And what I came to realize is that I need to take more pictures; of the people, places and things that make me happy. Not just of vacations or special events--though I have yet to sort my wedding photos--but of the smaller moments. Being out with friends, a special cup of coffee, the random outfits I like. I need to learn from my co-worker Jenna who documents everything just so that I can hold on to those time and spaces.

So in that vein--here are random pictures from my trip. I didnt take many with other people--the party has a rule about nudity and drinking shots being forbidden--but of the place so that when I need to relax I can look back over them and remember how it felt to be so out of the loop and into something comfortable.

The cabin itself

the country quilt i slept with on the floor

the beach outside the house yet to be ravaged.

the dance shack before it busted up my feet as we whirled away

the party raft AKA where Johnno almost drowned

the beach at night

the highlight-pun intended-of country living

the end of it all.

Fashion Flash

It's so White People Problems

While writing another post I came across this picture of Truman Capote--and all I could think was how yuppie white prep school is this look? Which is really shorthand for I will be stealing this idea as soon as the weather drops to realistic temperatures which means hopefully January. Except I think I will kill the beret--I'm not that gay or rich.

Like it is cold out but too cold to sacrifice fashion for a coat so lets just double layer the sweater. Hoe does this? It's the gay version of Ali McGraw in "Love Story"-fashion means never having to say your sorry.

Friday Jams

Bang Bang with Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj

I know the song is new and was leaked while I was gone to Minnesota so I'm late to the game. I honestly only learned about the song via Jackee Harry's twitter account--which I highly suggest following because my God does she make me laugh and loves to interact with her fans.

Plus there is this:



Distractions aside--I'm totally feeling this song and I like all the parties involved even if Jessie J drives people to drink... That said-there is no video for this yet so enjoy the lyric video... So helpful whenever it comes to Nicki Minaj in general:



Like Jackee said--it's kind of like the new Lady Marmalade. Honestly.

Tuesday Trials and Tribulations

Not Sure How to Feel

So in the past 48 hours I have been called or referred to as Philip Seymour Hoffman. Not to speak ill of the dead but this is a vaguely disturbing development that appears to be fucking with my head. Because now all I have been doing is image searches and trying to figure out which pictures are the most like me.

Now this picture would be fine--not the greatest but probably kind of honestly me. It's not enough to send me to a surgeon  in Tijuana or anything but a bit of a bummer. He also looks vaguely like the character Dexter here which I appreciate on some levels.

Now if you told me I looked like PSH as Truman Capote I would probably use my shit out of happiness... Like this would be my jam. I mean--yeah its a bit rough since Capote is older but he was a babe back in the day.

Like he is such a hottie that I cannot stand it and would die to be compared to him via PHS. Which I know is probably not happening and this entire thing has ruined "Boogie Nights" for me though the film has probably one of my favorite songs of all time in it.



Because I suspect at the end of the day that this is what people are referring to and it's enough to make me beyond depressed. Like celebrity exhaustion depressed because who wants this?

Friday Jams

Brooklyn Girls

I'm rather ashamed of how much I like this song--it's over produced, terribly done and just a mess and yet I find myself with it stuck in my head. And honestly--the video has some great styling choices


                                                   It's all ugh and ahh at the same time

Thursday Truths

Sometimes You Have to Let Go

I've never been good at letting go, relaxing in the moment or waiting on things to just happen. I suspect part of this was just from my being an ambitious child, part of from parents who were a bit too distracted and the overwhelming grasp of the me generation I grew up in. But I have always had a hard time putting things down and waiting for them to settle.

                       Seriously I am playing this game constantly--even when it tells me to wait

So when I hear about people taking vacations--I'm always thrown by the idea. My best friend Kelly goes to Maine for weeks in the summer, my boss Roland takes ten days with his family to the east--I have even had editors flee for days on end to places like Ireland and Missouri. I just don't get how they do it--how they can put their careers, friends and life on hold to go off the grid.

And maybe part of this is that I have always worked some kind of freelance as an adult--whether it was scourging for hours when I worked retail even as a assistant manager or because I have jumped from TV show to show back when I had a more flexible career. But the idea of not working means not making money means no longer term trips to exotic places because how will bills get paid?

               For Some Reason This Came Up When I Searched Images of Cairo--Huh?

This doesn't mean I don't travel out of town--I go to Seattle or San Francisco or Las Vegas on the regular--I can pull myself together for trips to Vancouver or Chicago for weddings and family visits. But I always cut the travel close to leave at last moment on a Friday and back at work on a Monday. I only took 3 days off for my wedding and part of that was because we got married on a Friday night to save money and let our guests have a full weekend to explore a new city... While other people get to explore the museums and tourist traps I'm lucky if I get beyond my hotel room and a handful of restaurants.

But what I have come to learn lately is that there is no point to doing things this way--my financial life will not fall apart if we have a honeymoon or take a week to see another city. That as an adult who works hard and makes decent money I should be able to plan and take advantage of such an experience-that I know the few trips I had where I was able to relax meant the world to me. That there is so much to be gained from leaving the familiar and putting the everyday on hold--even if it is letting myself take a full four day weekend instead of rushing in and out of trip. That when I do this I am able to recharge and reboot and makes my job, my writing, friendships and my marriage better.

My Zen Moment

Dinner with an old friend--at a restaraunt obviously inspired by eyes wide shut. Such a good diet motivator 

Pray for me 

Inspiration Monday

Peyton Place by Grace Metalious

                                   It's Like A Brittney Spears Song-Not So Innocent

Most people have heard the phrase "It's like a modern day Peyton Place"--meaning a small town rocked by scandal, sex, steamy secrets and saucy sirens.... It's actually a pretty sad development in my eyes because while the book was definitely scandalous for it's time, it is also well written indictment about small time living, the gap between the younger and older generations and the hypocrisy of "keeping up with the Jones".

The story itself it is simple--a story about a small town in deep in New England where church and family are as important as status and money. It follows the painful maturing of a handful of teens in the town; sweet Allison Mackenzie, poor but beautiful Selena Cross, wealthy and spoiled Rodney Harrington, overly sheltered Norman Page and ambitious Betty Anderson. It also ties itself in the secrets of the town filled with sexual longing-both of the female kind and the incestial kind, murder and classicist segregation, the extra martial and the overly insular pressures of a small town life.


                                       But nothing as shocking as this cause REALLY?

But what makes the story and Metalious' work so amazing is that while the plot can be considered potboiler material she writes with a solid, strong and sensitive hand--her prose is thick and beautiful, filled with the type of pastoral imagery paired up with a solid understanding of what makes real people tick. You feel for the characters-root for them despite all odds and take on the righteous anger that comes once the full extent of the plot is revealed. Because at the end of the day the book is not truly about the secrets at stake but instead is about the cost of polite society, of neighborly ignorance and the questioning by the youth of these practices. The book was published in 1956 and you can see how this along with a handful of other projects started the idea of the youth movement and led to the counter culture's rise in the 1960s--teens asking why are things this way.

                                                            Just Like This Guy Did

And while Grace Metalious wrote a handful of other books--nothing quite captures the same rush of shock, hope and intrigue as Peyton Place. It lead to a long running prime time soap which introduced us to Mia Farrow and Ryan O'Neal (You win some/you lose some), a solid film even if they had to dial back more of the shocking elements and a truly terrible sequel. One of the great tragedies of her career, when Metalious sold the film rights for the book she also sold the movie studio the rights to make a sequel. Because of this development, she was forced to quickly write "Return To Peyton Place" so that the studio couldn't make up any story they wanted for the sequel--and you can tell that she rushed to create a solid new story which doesn't quite hold up but has moments of genius when it comes to the fallout for some of the major female characters.

I have always believed it is easy to write a story filled with scandalous people--it is much harder to write a scandalous story happening to good, imperfect and fully rounded people. Metalious does this so perfectly that it is easy to forget and not see the nuance of her writing. A truly special book

Friday Jams

All About That Bass

I am in love with this song--not only is it dancable on every level but the message is a great one. Not about being skinny and not about twerking but about embracing one's size, body and using it... Every time I hear this song I just start dancing around the clubhouse ASAP--cause I'm all about that.



                                     Honestly this is probably my song of the summer

Thursday Truths

This Is Me--Honestly

Everything in this video is about who I wanted to be in 3rd grade. It is also who I imagine I am in my head in times of trouble--or just out in a bar. Honestly 

1) Bad Ass Trike? 

CHECK

2) Ruler of the roller rink?

CHECK

3) Looking like an escaped model from a Nagel painting? 

CHECK

4) Being a Solid Gold Dancer? 

CHECK

Honestly you learn more about me from watching this video than I could hope to blog in the next 10 years of my life even if I also starred on a reality show at the same time.

THIS IS EVERYTHING

Life Hacks

Bacon Made Easier--And in Bulk

Who doesn't like bacon? And who doesn't like the struggle to cook it? Because between the spitz of grease burning your arm, the fact that you can only cook a handful of pieces at a time and the greasy pan aftermath--it's hard to enjoy this treat outside of a brunch or diner.

It wasn't until a few years ago that my friend Sabine actually had a holiday brunch at her house and showed me how to easily make bacon in bulk--all it takes is an oven, a raised grate or grill and some tinfoil to line a cookie sheet. I know the traditional stove top way isn't hard but I like bulk and easy cleaning

                                             Does this look easier? And more yummy?

You just have to set up your raw bacon on the grate inside your cookie tray like so, preheat the oven to 400 degrees and wait about 10-20 minutes depending on your stove... And no lost burnt pieces, no bacon grease to pour into a jar to store for later disposal and you can just throw out the tinfoil which leaves you with a clean cookie sheet! Easy peasy.

Obviously if you need help you can always invite me over to show you how to make this in person. I'll even test the final product to make sure you did the process correctly--unfortunately not all ovens heat evenly so I will have to try pieces from various parts of the tray.

                                                      I LOVE YOU TOO BACON

sickie sick sickie

...

So I have been sick off and on for the past few weeks--I got my first sinus infection and it took me awhile to get myself to Urgent Care to figured this out... Which is why I have been MIA when it comes to blogging. Which is not an excuse as much as an answer to a question no one is asking

My current feelings can be summed up by the following:

Inspiration Monday

Book Porn

This picture--while witty and silly as all get out--reminds me so much of how much I love books... Not just the idea of stories or well chosen prose but the physicality of them, the space they take up on my nightstand or in my beach day backpack. The very weight of carrying around a good hardback or a few soft covers makes me aware of the weight of ideas and the expanse of imagination it takes to create something so profoundly unique and its own space. And while I do use the kindle for the harder to find, the self published and the quick one-off reading material... the importance of the printed page, the freshly bound literature is still so amazing to me all this time--even after moving all of the books I owe from the Dollhouse to the Clubhouse.

Focus Fiction

New Adult

if you haven't guessed from me having this blog--I fancy myself a writer of sorts. I primarily write prose and have always focused on young adult novels--mostly due to the lack of good gay young adult fiction outside of authors like Julie Peters and David Levithan. (you should read these people--they're great) And one of the best things about writing in the age of kindle and nook is the rise of self-publishing.

Side Note: My prose writing is not like my blog writing. I'm not saying that one is better than the other but thought it was worth putting out there. No judgments please.

And one of the more interesting developments of in the rise of self publishing has been the invention of new genres--always a bonus. There's Amish romance (something I will write about in depth later), the legitimising of fan fiction and explosion  of the ghetto novel. But my favorite new genre is that of New Adult.

                 And yes-unfortunately this is both New Adult and Fan Fiction Revised

The idea of New Adult is that it is the life experiences that come between Young Adult fiction and traditional Adult fiction. It focuses on life right after high school and into the adult world--books set in college, about starting families and marriages or first jobs and career stories. It's an interesting combination of the innocence of the young adult characters but allows for the sexuality and interpersonal complications that comes from that transition in life. And while it has sub genres like any other major literary subset--it is a market that has been ignored because publishers thought people wouldn't want to read about the trials of being on your own for the first time in life, the difference between adult and teenage romantic relationships and the transition and owning of one's own identity.

And while there are a handful of famous books out there that could fall easily into this genre--"The Graduate", "Peyton Place", "The Secret History" among others-it is interesting to see what kind of stories come out of the strange world between being a teenage and a fully functioning adult. In today's society we have created a new timetable for our lives--most people now at least consider college which has become a type of emotional finishing school, are waiting longer for the traditional goals of marriage and family and this has created a new period of time in the average human lifespan. It's one to be richly mined and I cannot wait to see what stories come out of this new world.

                Though if it become a million versions of this claptrap I will eat a gun

My Body Myself

As we roll into summer, it becomes that special time of year where people of all types suddenly turn in on themselves--giving up carbs, taking up running, and judging their bodies or in layman's terms--swim suit season. Suddenly the Starbucks drinks into sugar free, low fat, no whip abominations and the slow realization that your hibernation diet has turned you from a twink into an actually bear sans the body hair.

                                    Unless you're Grizzly Adams then you're already there

Everything you eat, wear and do takes on a new meaning--one that isn't particularly kind or healthy. And when you're someone grew up with an eating disorder it becomes some weird Halloween when the ghosts of bodies past come out to play.

                                                              Not that kind of ghost

For me--I become weirdly nostalgic about my years with bulimia. It's not like I was ever truly thin or super skinny, at best I was average with a bit more tone to the body which always made me feel like a bad bulimic. But what I relished about those years was the control I had over my body, that somehow I came to believe that I could do what I want but not live with the responsibilities-eat anything and work out never. I didn't want the people in my life to know that my 31 inch waist meant I couldn't hang out and have frozen yogurt or that the slice of pizza meant I would have to skip out a beach day to run in a garbage bag to sweat off the pounds--so instead I would eat like they did then magically disappear for a nap or a walk or a cigarette. In reality I had stripped off my shirt in a public bathroom while puking my guts out silently.

                            No guy wants to talk about how much work this body takes

I was proud of how well I hid my secret--that I could throw up on command, brush my teeth and throw some water on my face like I had just Noxzema-ed my skin like some young waif. And even when the problems began to show up--the ruptured throat muscle, the inability to sleep until every trace of food left my stuff, the constant awareness of where I was in terms of a bathroom--I still thought I was lucky because I could do this and get away with it. When your stomach is empty all the time you get a euphoric feeling that becomes such a high that you can't begin to function without it.

Until you can't function with it either.

And the worst part is--unlike drinking or smoking or heroin--you can't just give up on food to deal with the issue. (I mean--you can become anorexic but that's just the same horse-different color) So you teach yourself how to eat again and keep it down, how to not step on scales because they're a trigger and you get rid of every picture from that one window in your life because it is so painfully to revisit it.

                                                 Oh look--its my sweet sixteen picture

But then you get distance and get stronger--you learn to accept slowly how your body wants to look. You learn how to eat better, how to ignore that urge to purge when you've had two pieces of pizza instead of just the salad, you give yourself permission to believe that you are who you're supposed to be. You have to re-learn all your expectations of self and your standards of beauty and sexuality.

                                                       You read a lot of Erica Jong...

But the truth is all those fears, thoughts, desires and skills never go away--they sit in the back of your head waiting for just the little crack of light to come out and play. It happens when you go to a bar and someone sneers at you for being too fat, when people come up on you as you eat lunch and you briefly feel ashamed that your salad is not healthy enough, when you get invites to pool parties with friends who are actors or runners or just naturally thin. Suddenly you're back in that space where you want control and it feels like control and it is just like falling off the wagon except you still have to have the drink because with you will actually die.

And then you have the choice--you can be consumed by these thoughts, possibly relapse or skip the summer pool parties and hide yourself away in shame... Or you put on a brave face, force on the bathing suit and go out into the sun regardless. There is still a part of you that will never be fully fixed--but you don't have to be fully broken either.

Or you force everyone to go skinny dipping because then everyone is equally uncomfortable and it becomes a level playing field of insecurity and awkwardness.

        Only assholes and monsters are fully comfortable doing this in a group setting

Life Hack

Super Charged

This week's life hack is more aimed at the holiday than a general real life use--though lord knows I have used it to save my butt more than once. You know that moment when you've been out and about with your friends all day--on the rugby field, shopping for designer fakes downtown or on a bike bar cruise

                                          The Beach Barcycle is real people... REAL

And then something comes up and you need to use your phone--maybe to grab an Uber after a long day of beach drinking, to get directions to the loft party downtown or to try and capture that crazy thing with your favorite celebrity did while drunk on vacation...


                         Yes--this is Zac Efron dancing to Wiggle--further proof of God

And there is nothing worse in these situations then realizing your phone is dead--and you have 20 minutes to charge it before you head out for a full night of drinks and dancing...

Side note: I have always wanted to see a horror movie where the characters spend half the film texting, playing Candy Crush and updating their twitters so that when the killer comes stalking they cant call for help because they took too many selfies during the gratutious bikini bonfire/strip beer pong scene.

So here's an awesome tip I picked up--when you have to charge in a rush just go into settings and put your phone on airplane mode before you charge it. It can cut the time down to a third when it comes to juicing up so you don't have to waste your time and miss out on taking all your favorite food pictures.

Though you should really stop taking those pictures--I'm judging you

Inspiration Monday

Missy Elliott

So I held this week's inspiration back a day because of who it is--the one and only Missy Elliot and today is her birthday! While I don't seem the type to roll hard and deep in the hip hop world there is just something about the one and only Missy that totally gets me going and that is a true inspiration


                     This is one of the best videos of all time--trash bag couture people!

The thing about Elliot's music is not just her lyrical strength and stupefying beats--it's who she is and what she represents... As one of the first true hip hop artists to go main street with a solid street sound, she's also a strong woman who uses her sex, her unique body and fixation with sexuality in a strong feminist way. She doesn't pander to her men, her audience or her industry but instead created her own spot in the genre.

I think that hip hop is probably of the hardest genres of music to be in if you dont conform to their ideals-and as a woman it is looking a certain way, talking a certain way and taking a certain tack when it comes to marketing and promotion. Missy broke the rules by putting out what she felt more than what she was told to do--she didn't need to have rivalries or drop 30 pounds to make her sound matter.


                         Makes me wish I could rap backwards--even if it is a studio trick

And when it comes to her producing--she's not afraid to use unusually beats, vocal tricks and cultural influences to create something that is beyond easy pop or mix tape ready. She is the reason that we can have people like Kayne West, Frank Ocean and even Erykah Badu--she made the unusual and the unexpected something that the marketplace could handle and want.


                         I NEED to learn the hallway dance top to bottom--so perfect

And finally my favorite thing about her music is that Missy has a sense of humor about herself, hip hop and life in general. I don't think you can listen to "Gossip Folks" and not come away without wanting to hang with her--and the video is just as colorful, funny and interesting as she is. And while she doesn't drop albums the same way anymore--she is still producing and driving the sound of hip hop on her own terms. And that deserves my admiration--and her own national holiday!

My Me Moment

Summer time has finally come and made it's first appearance in my cocktail glass this weekend. There is nothing more I love than fruit, vodka and club soda poolside to relax while pretending I can hold a tan more than a sunburn

Truths Thursday

Destiny is Calling--and She Ain't That Hoe From Around The Way

The people who make time for you are the ones you really should let in. They are the co-workers who want you to join the company team, the random friends who want to do dinner or coffee, the relative who takes the time to write and call. It's the people you have to chase down, cajole or constantly corral into being a part of your life that are the people who don't value the time, the energy or the friendship that you think you have.

                    Girl--the only call you're getting is from your past... Your "friends" are busy

I guess I need to work on being grateful for those who reach out to me and remind myself to try and reach out in return. It's scary to let new people in and take stock of old friendships just to realize that maybe they aren't what you thought. But the truth is you can't have too many friends and there is nothing better than being with someone who loves your company then someone you have to push to hang out.

So I'm trying to be more open to those who want to see me instead of trying to force people to make the effort to see me... It;s about time to embrace what opportunities the universe is giving me then trying to force it down a different path that may not be the same anymore. One of things you have to learn as you grow older is how much life changes you and by default the people you have in it. Embrace opportunities.

         This is what you end up looking like if you don't let go of the past and embrace the new. 

Quote of the Day

Random But True

Friends can occupy the same room without robbing the space of solitude. They appreciate the difference between conversation and pointless noise. They don't snipe and bitch about other friends. They do their share of mundane tasks without prompting. They seldom whine, are secure in their own purpose and don't anchor themselves to an energy-sapping cloud of defeat and ready-made excuses when a challenging project presents itself.

I find this is very true and something I share with very few people.

I'm So Dorothy

Inspiration Monday

Flaming June by Sir Frederic Leighton

This is probably my favorite painting of all time--it followed me from my college dorm for 4 years, summers on the wall at my various homes and finally to the Dollhouse. It is probably the key reason behind my love of the color orange and the idea also of contrasting imagery that has carried over from my taste in art to music to how I dress.

I think what I have always been intrigued by is the use of unexpected visual pairings--the need to have the body cover as was the style at the time but with the obvious elements and edges of nudity within it between the curve of the model's hip, the rise and cover of the barely covered nipples and the long and graceful ankle and calf line seen before the bareness of the foot. It's both puritanical and risque in the same moment.

And the use of the color orange--a bright and vibrant color denoting warmth and energy--as draped in the clothing of the sleeping model is just as interesting because it creates a mixture of relaxation and energy. This disconnect--the eye usually associates sleep and resting with cooler colors like blue changes the portrait from one of plain and quiet repose to one of almost a catnap-like quality... The model rests not because of being tired but more as a re-charging moment before continuing the dizzy and risque day before it. It is both calming and invigorating for the eyes--a sort of party girl at rest--which is something I can relate to.

Here's more about the painting if interested--the background is a bit unique as well

The story of Flaming June

Friday Jams

We Are Done by the Madden Brothers

I recently heard this song while out cruising around with my friend Edie late one summer night... At first I didn't recognize the band name but the voices sounded familiar if not with the right sound. I have to admit that I was surprised when I found out it was the brothers who founded Good Charlotte.

Now here is the thing-the faux punk Good Charlotte sound never really appealed to me but I saw them as the opening act for Justin Timberlake with my friend Joy and was totally impressed. As live musicians they put on a really good show which always impresses me and makes me rethink the artists' catalog and while I didn't run out to buy their albums I was a bit more interested in their song.

Side note-this band has sucked live when I saw them--and the Sex Pistols called them out on it.

So finding out that the brothers Madden had founded a new band with a new song was a pleasant surprise and I have been playing this pretty much everyday during my zen downtime. I'm curious as to what the video will look like when it comes out but a lyric video will have to do for now.

Dance away people



PS--this man is rather hot in concert... Like bring extra panties hot

Truths Thursday

You Gotta Have Experience To Be With Me

So this past weekend I went to the beach with my friends Edie and Valeska--we spent the day walking from the Santa Monica Pier down to Venice, went up through and  over to this cute artist/shopping enclave called Abbott Kinney where we had brunch, window shopped and explored the area. This is probably the most Californian thing I had done in ages because 1) I don't usually go to the beach because I burn and 2) Santa Monica is hell on Earth when it comes to driving

I look so happy here--it is also the last picture of me without a sunburn for 2014

Now besides a slight brag about the glamorous life of a hipster in Los Angeles--the trip was really important for one big reason. It had recently come to my attention (trademark Chloe Sevigny) that when I was hanging out with my friends lately we were really just spending our time recapping our work weeks and random issues then actually "doing things" together like we used to. And it was starting to affect my relationships because it felt more like I was just listing off things as opposed to doing things together--which is what helps create new memories and leads to exploring and building my friendships.

And there is nothing wrong with a little bit of "catch up" with the girls about work and relationships but I just felt like I was doing more "telling" than "showing" in my life with them and it had become a goal to really try and do new stuff whether it was exploring a new neighborhood or heading out to dance at an underground club night or figuring out a new recipe to try together for organic, low carb, vodka based drinks. Because when it comes to keeping relationships fresh and interesting you have to break out of the comfort zone and create new memories whether they are good or bad. It's easy to rely on a shared history in a relationship but it is also just as easy to allow things to just become routine and overtime it can run the risk of being something or someone you deal with because you have to.

I guess what I'm learning as I grow older is that every relationship has a certain amount of management needed with it; a certain amount of time where you make plans and put in the work so that it is fun and memorable because if you don't it could become outdated or even boring. It's about sharing and caring as much as it is about convenience  and compatibility.

And in the interest of sharing and experiencing new things--watch this

I want someone to describe me as having "casual arrogance"

Life Hack

Instant Color

So if you're like me you have spent plenty of time living in an apartment; one in college, one post college, one with the person you're dating, another with the first long term relationship and then eventually your spouse. (I'm not going to say that you would live with your family in an apartment cause that just reminds me of how bad the LA market can be and how I will die in a rent controlled apartment in a sketchy part of town)

And I am blame these guys for this LA housing market

                                                    Thanks for nothing Bravo--ugh

So when you're living in an apartment it can be hard to make it feel like home so you end up buying Ikea because it is cheap and it looks like every other apartment you're in for the next 5 years whether it is yours, yours friends, or that one bad night you went home with the bar back from the Power House.

                                                                  RIP Power House

And while you can't necessarily avoid Ikea furniture when you're starting out--what you can do is something to help out with your boring and neutral colored walls to give the illusion of paint/texture/wall paper. It's super easier to do--you take that simple bookshelf from Ikea, Target or Goodwill and place them on the focus wall in whatever room you'd like to spruce up.

Focus wall: the primary wall you see in a space either from the doorway entering the room or the wall you see the most of from your primary piece of furniture AKA bed, sofa or kitchen table

Once you have placed the bookshelf you have a couple different choices you can make--you can either use a solid paint color, reusable wallpaper or traditional wallpaper (though this is the most expensive and least easy to change down the road.) You then paint/paper/stencil the inside back of the bookshelf--sans shelves-with whatever you like before you place anything in them.

It goes from this:

                                                          Yes we own a lot of Simpsons

To this:

                                                           But we are still super gay

If you use more than one bookshelf and place posters or art around them in the same color scheme it helps to trick your eye into thinking you have a painted and more colorful space. It's the type of project that can take only a day or two to do but will have a big impact--making it more personal without effecting the security deposit down the road. It will also get you lots of compliments and adds a certain level of sophistication to your space. It's a win/win.

So try refreshing your rented space with this simple trick--I find that more time you spend making a truly personalized space the more relaxing, friendly and unique you will feel about your home. And it's really those little things that make life extra special.

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day

"You'll look back at photos of yourself and recall (in a way you can't really grasp now) how fabulous you really looked" --Mary Schmich

This is one of those quotes that has always stuck with me--this idea that one day I will realize all the time and energy, bitching and moaning, dieting and crazy exercising was all one big waste of my energy and my time. That I was never as fat or awkward or pale or ugly that I thought I was and that I would realize how much better I was than I thought and how much more fun I could have had if I had taken that pressure off of myself.

I'm starting to get to that place in y head where I just stop being so hard on myself.

But it is hard when you have spent half your life fighting an eating disorder and the other half pretending that you finally put all the hangups that got you there far away. It took me a long time to throw out my scale, embrace exercise for how it makes me feel instead of a means to an end and now sometimes when the moon is just right I can see that it wasn't ever that bad and it might even be kind of good to be me. And I think the quote helps me try and put things in perspective--though it might be seen as counterproductive that one of my most inspiring quotes is from a late 90s pop night


Ugh ugh ugh ugh

Inspiration Monday

"The Eye Has To Travel"



Every so often there is a book, film, song or painting that inspires me so much that I feel the need to share it with all of my friends--this documentry is one of them. Diana Vreeland is considered the mother of the modern fashion magazine and some might even argue the mother of the modern fashion culture. When she was the editor of Vogue magazine she changed the way the fashion world worked by creating not only the world of editorial fashion but the idea that clothes were more than just something you threw on your back but instead an insight to world culture, personal beliefs and induviduality. She wasn't about what you should wear but how you should build a sense of style from not only your clothes but your manners, philosophy and world view. She makes Anna Wintour look like a ninny

Anna is NOT happy

And this documentary is not just a celebration of Vreeland's accomplishments--though she was one of the first to take the fashion spread on location, celebrated and created a little crazy called the bikini and gave us the Met Ball where fashion mixed with history, politics and Hollywood... It is an exploration into a mind that was fascinated by the human experience both personal and universal and how that tied into our shared experience. Few people can have such a ripple effect in history and serve as an inspiration to so many still today.

And while it might seem a simple film about fashion cannot be a serious exploration of what it means to be creative, there is a twist in the film that gives us the gift of her story; a idea about creativity and personal expression that I found to be quite inspiring. And even though Vogue might not be the cultural zeitgeist it once was--Vreeland's zest for life and her quest to find the simplest of meaning is still interesting and profound.

This shit would not fly in her house

My Me Moment

I found a new friend this morning in the parking lot...

Not sure where he came from but he's now my new favorite co-worker!!!

My Me Moment

My fans love to stalk me... This picture just makes me laugh!!!

Friday Jams

Fancy by Iggy Azalea

I have a complicated history with this song--I mean if you close your eyes it sounds EXACTLY like something Gwen Stefani and Eve would have recorded years ago. It's not that I don't like it but it doesn't feel truly original. And then I saw the video which made me love the song

See if you can figure out why



It's just such a total Baldwin!

My Me Moment

June Gloom

There's this weird weather that happens in LA at the beginning of summer-this thick haze that hangs over the morning sky that always reminds me of early fall on Nantucket growing up. It's chilly and cloudy and makes me inclined to put on a thick cable knit sweater and drink hot chocolate

But it's a trap.

I honestly believe June Gloom exists simply to make us put on more layers of clothes and start stews in crock-pots so that when it hits 95 by 11 am you have no choice but to suffer. It's California's way of tricking you into believing there is seasons and it's pretty fucking convincing 

The summer here is a cruel one indeed. 

My Me Moment

The type of gang I would belong to... Turbans and fringe for all 

Life Hack

I Don't Know Much Science But....

One of things I learned from living with 10 plus roommates (not all at the same time--it was the Dollhouse, not the Frat House) is that the bathroom can become one of the most complicated places in the home--especially if you share the same social life... And even though now it is just me and the husbear--we still have to duck and dodge around each other when it comes to the morning routine--and here is my favorite weapon in that arsenal.

Did you know that you can use a small amount of this old school shaving cream on your mirror and keep it from foggy up from multiple showers? I don't claim to understand the science but it really does the trick when you have to shave, do makeup or just get dressed in a hurry--no time to wait for the room to defog. It's probably my best grooming secret and can be a huge help when on the go!


You're welcome

Truths Thursday

Down With Irony

When it came time to try and relaunch my blog, I really wanted to sit down and rethink exactly what type of theme or idea I would have with the new page. It's not like I think the blog will make me famous or even infamous-I just wanted to create something I loved that combined my passion for fashion, art, music, social issues and a confessional aspect to it. And one of things I really thought about was how to make it genuine and authentic--I really wanted it to be positive and funny and maybe be something that could brighten some one's day. I wanted it to be a way to share myself and hopefully inspire others to do the same. At times the previous blog felt like it became too biting and shallow and a bit too ironic.

I've come to hate the idea of irony.


(Don't worry Alanis--your song is still fine with me)

The thing is I've come to find the idea of irony-or like/loving things in an ironic way-to be a bit of a cop out. Now the word has come to be something different than it's actual meaning (See above for example number 1) and it is very popular to voice your opinion on things this way. People love Pabst beer ironically because it so bad it's good, watch things like "Flowers in the Attic" and "Sharkando" because the acting is terrible or the CGI poorly done, and it's a badge of honor to have those type of ridiculous passions.

But loving things ironically gives you an automatic disclaimer--like if someone else points out why you shouldn't like a thing or how foolish a TV show is you can just distance yourself from your original opinion but making it seem like "yeah-it's terrible and I know it's terrible so I don't really think (blank) is great and all I really like is "Breaking Bad" and handcrafted home brewed beer." This love of the idea of irony has become a safety net that allows you to have "out" and takes away the responsibility of owning up to your own taste and interests leading people to always be able defer to the group consensus.

And that makes me sad because one of things I think is great about people, friendships, and being social is the idea of being able to share experiences and passions, being able to say what you love and share that love with others, passing along genuine ideas, art and discourse. Instead now everything can be cut down with an ironic joke or gesture.



I guess what I'm saying is that irony has taken the place of passion when it comes to how people feel about this, we don't celebrate what we love but instead keep it at a distance as though it might hurt if it comes too close. It's a shame because there is nothing bad about loving things that aren't perfect--whether it's ABC Family shows about teenage girls being stalked via text, pop songs about foolish things that have just really great beats, or movies about stupid things with great lines or books with really bad silly plots but characters that make you happy.

        (Even Zac Efron thought Vanessa Hudgins's "Sneakernight" was a good song)

At the end of the bad loving bad things isn't the end of the world--because there is obviously something about it that you genuinely care for. Maybe you like the outrageous prose in a Steven King novel or the phat beats in a Flow Rida song--it's okay to find the bits and pieces of things to enjoy in the midst of the sub par. In a way that is what life is, special moments, people, and ideas that are surrounded by the mundane or dull--it's learning how to find and appreciate the positive that gives life meaning.

That's not to say you can point and laugh at the bad things you had along the way--I still look at certain things in my life and groan but with a slight smile. We all have to sometime's own up to our bad taste in things but we shouldn't always have a default status on everything we like so we can be cool or disavow ourselves.

I mean--I'm cool there is a website possibly devoted to all my previous bad dating choices

                                            Dating Life Pre-Johnno or Bad Idea Jeans Central
 

My Me Moment

Zenory

This is me just relaxing in the pool at Camp Bradley... Somehow Edie took the first picture without my knowing what was going on since obviously I would not normally be posing in a bathing suit for anyone but yet.. I love how calm, relaxed and zen I look here. This is not something I am normally good at but something I should really work on. It makes all the difference in the world when you're able to just recharge and escape

You Got To Start Somewhere

Why Hello There Stranger

So I'm back.

It should be a bit more dramatic than that--after all it's been over a year and 2 months since I actually posted here. I could give a million excuses--I finally married my husband Johnno, I moved out of my home of 16 years--aka the Dollhouse--and into a home for just me and the man--aka the Clubhouse. There was a lot of other things that happened around me as well--a promotion at work, friends having babies, dealing with my family issues, trying to drop another 20 pounds but...

I got lazy.

I reached a point with the blog that I found myself either unable or unwilling to share myself here. I think part of it was with all the turmoil in my life I didn't know how to string my sentences together in any way that would be helpful or necessary--which meant it was time to walk away from the keyboard and handle my life. It was a hard but correct choice to go off the grid and get my house in order--plus it allowed me time to re-think what I really wanted this blog to be going forward.

That was a hard one.

So going forward this blog is going to be a combination of male fashion, inspirational ideas and projects, lifestyle advice mixed in with pop culture, sex and a commitment to trying to change my life and hopefully do some good along the way. It's going to be honest, hopefully and even more hopeful.

So I guess that's my promise to you... And if you have questions, ideas or smack talk then please comment away--I promise to give back what you deserve.

Let's do this