Friday, January 27, 2006

Bitchfest: Theme Parties

Okay—I’m going on a rant. This isn’t aimed at anyone in particular or some attempt at passive aggressive way to make people feel bad, just something I have noticed and is making me a little crazy.

Theme parties—I love them. Nothing makes me happier than a reason to hang with my friends, get all dressed up and be silly. And I have a lot of people in my life who are like this too; always looking for a new theme or thing to do. It’s amazing that all the goofy geeky nerdy freaks found each other and have a good time making their own scenes.

That all being said—I get really annoyed when people don’t participate. I know, I know, there are a handful of very valid excuses. Last minute invite or not having the money for a costume or something came up like a crazy work schedule or trip or ceiling falling in that makes it impossible to dress like a pimp or all eighties. But these times are very few between and what I have noticed is that there are three types of people never who bother to dress up or take part in the wild funny crazy things we sometimes do.

The first type is the “can’t be bothered” person. Someone who is just lazy and is showing up to drink for free, eat for free and stare in wonder at all the costumed guests. They stand off to the side, never dance or talk to someone new and are just so above the idea of the theme, the party and the entire scene. These people are the cousins of those that go to theme restaurants and are mortified when the staff sings. Why come if you don’t plan on playing along?

The next type is the “worriers”. They think that they will look silly or fat or not get the look right. They will spend hours at a time trying to create the perfect costume only to throw their hands up in exhaustion and proclaim that it can’t be done and that no one really will do it anyways so why should they? Then when they show up to the party they feel left out because they didn’t dress like white trash or have a Halloween costume. The funny truth is that no one ever looks hot in a sheet or as a hooker or anyone from the cast of ‘Star Wars’. Really. It’s just meant to be fun and not a runway show.

Which brings us to the last people—the attention seekers. These people know the theme, have the clothes for it or the creativity to pull something together last minute but choose not to. Instead they see any theme party as the chance to get the attention by wearing an outfit that has nothing to do with the theme but is sexy/hot/noticeable enough to get every person in the room to look at them. A theme is just an excuse to know what everyone else is wearing and how to stand out.

I guess what I’m upset about is why do we ever bother to throw these types of parties if no one outside of 2 or 3 people really wants to partake of the theme? Seriously. I think that if no one wants to do it then they should just say so we can all just stop wasting money and time on something that isn’t fun for people. Because that’s why I go—to have fun. And for all my shallowness—I have no problem looking silly, fat, awkward or ugly if it means we all have a fun time.

A party should be a cause for laughter, dancing, jokes and catching up. Not cause for misery or whining or anything else.

Bitchfest over.

Love you all.

Your Personality Profile

You are sexy, powerful, and bold.
You're full of passion and energy...
Sometimes this passion has a dark side.

You feel most alive when you're seducing someone.
You never fail to get someone's attention.
Quick minded, you're also quick to lose your temper!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Hit This!

The Nail Ripper

People Iced:Twenty Seven
Car Bombs Planted:Twelve
Favorite WeaponSledge Hammer
Arms Broken:Thirty Two
Eyes Gouged:Eight
Tongues Cut Off:None. Pathetic.
Biggest Enemy:The Tooth Puller

Get Your HITMAN Name

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Really Now

You are Andie Walsh from Pretty in Pink

You are original and clever person. Although your family may not be able to buy you all the cool stuff you want, you are able to make cool stuff for yourself. Like a rocking 80’s prom dress.

Take this quiz at
Rory--an interview inspired by Lola

First off—love the hair… What’s the story behind that?

Rory "Well—I was looking at some old stills of myself and realized that I just love the kind of bohemian, off beat look that this hair creates. Strawberry blond is fun and not as intense as Edie’s deep red look."

About Edie- what’s with all these rumors about a comeback?

Rory "I know—so much speculation as to when she’ll land back in L.A. Between you and me, I would keep the middle of February open but I can’t give away to much. I mean, she’s an old friend and entitled to a bit of mystery."

Speaking of old friends… You were spotted with an old flame recently. How is Nick?

Rory "Well—so much has been made of that ONE Saturday afternoon. It just turned out that our mutual friend Ava was having a birthday and invited us to join her for a Los Angeles Kings/ San Jose Sharks game. The seating gods being what they were—I just ended up between Nick and Ava.

It’s a little hard with all these rumors going around. I mean—I AM with Samuel but Nick definitely holds a spot in my heart. He’s my Winnie Cooper—someone who might have been once upon a time. But now it is Samuel’s time with me—and I’m loving every moment."

What does Samuel think of your couple nickname—HotBits?

Rory (Laughs) "Well—my friend Naomi dubbed us that a few weeks back and while it is adorable (pauses) but we don’t have hairy feet or one ring to rule them all. If we did—then you would be the first to know."


Rory "Yes…really. (Laughter.)"

So--any new projects coming down the pike?

Rory "Well—my dear old friend Ruby is in the process of creating a new theatre show that I am really looking forward to getting involved with. Besides her there will be so many familiar faces in the project…Kirby, Skylar, Heath and even Joy to name a few. It’s just so collaborative—I love it.

The biggest news is that I am looking to finally launch a new project that is very near and dear to my heart. All I can say is Victoria Gotti and Anna Nicole Smith will be eating their hearts out!"

I’m intrigued-but I’ll have to wait. Never a relaxing moment eh?

Rory "That’s not true. I find my quiet time in all the little things… I have been having some changes made to my home since early November and while the big ceiling project is done—we are just getting started on some possible changes to the bathrooms. It’s all about up keep."

But you must be sneaking in some down time—I mean—you just look great and relaxed… What’s the secret?

Rory "First off—thank you for all your compliments. I think the secret really is finding your down time and using it well. You might not believe this but there are nights where I just stay home and catch up on ‘Veronica Mars’ or snuggle in bed with a good book."

Okay—two part question. What do you think of the CW merger?

Rory "This CW merger is interesting two fold. Part of me is excited about seeing things like a possible “Smallville”/”Veronica Mars” line up but part of me also worries that this is limiting the avenues of new programming. But I do think there will be some more minority friendly shows coming out of this—always a good thing for us all."

And what book are you snuggling up to?

Rory "I am current reading “The Seven Deadly Sins” which is all about the benefits of sin. It really explains how to improve you life by not being so quick to judge yourself or others harshly and that a little of each sin can make you happy. It’s totally true!"

I smell a new religious craze! Speaking of trendsetting—what are you wearing now?

Rory "It’s quite simple really, Just a pair of great jeans from American Eagle—straight legged and very stressed—with a simple t-shirt from Hollister topped with an old Boy Scout shirt and finished off with soccer styled Sketchers and a puka shell necklace. I really love simple looks—too complicated is not for me. I save that for the personal life."


It is always such a pleasure speaking with you.

Rory "Really?"

Really—you’re just a fun interview. Thank you so much for making the time.

Rory "No-thank you for caring. I couldn’t do this without you!"

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Fun with Film

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic

Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few.
But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky.

Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski

Monday, January 23, 2006

Quote of the Week

This week belongs to Dominic with this winner.

"you know some freak out there is going to buy this just to get their Brokeback on"

Thanks for playing--and winning.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Word of the Day--Slaptastic

Definition-- As in it would be fantastic to slap.

Usage-- "The girl next to me was on the phone with her boyfriend ALL DAY--it was slaptastic."

Or--"Slaptastic!!! I get to hear all about my roommate's period."

Spread the word.

So I have been hit by a random wave of sadness. My mom sent me some pictures of my sister Meggy from Christmas and I just got so depressed. If you know me well then you know that I am not particularly close with my family--I haven't been home for a holiday in years--and there is no really reason other than I just don't have it in me to make the trip.

But today I realized that Meggy is getting big and my mom is getting older and I am missing out on so much. To Meggy I am just a picture on the wall and a voice on the phone. I'm not sure why this bother's me as much as this does but...

For some reason I want to cry. Weird. I guess I do have a heart.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

What I Think Of You

Can you name 21 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Dont read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 21 people.

Ready, Start!

1. Jenneddy
2. jen kilburn
3. Brandy
4. Michael
5. Jessica
6. Lil jen
7. Emmy
8. Heather
9. Lise
10. Kat
11. james
12. Aj
13. Becky
14. Matt
15. Loren
16. Nichole
17. Missy
18. Shaun
19. Leah
20. Mercy
21. Scaia

Now answer the questions according to the names listed below


How did you meet 14?

Through friends at the Blue Room.

What would you do if you had never met 6?
Never would have trusted in my writing. She inspires me.

What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
I would faint.

Would 4 and 12 make a good couple?
No. Too much jew--just kidding.

Describe 8:
Smart, artistic, devouted, feminist, heartbreaker.

Do you think 13 is attractive?
She's my style idol. Really

Tell me something humiliating about 17.
I have nothing--really just a classy lady all around.

Do you know any of 4's family members?
I have spoken with a couple of brothers on the phone. But I guess I will.

What's 21's favorite color?
I'm gonna say blue.

On a scale of 1-10, how hot is 10?
Depends--is she wearing pants?

What would you say if 18 just confessed they liked you?
I'd totally be into it--then fake my death so his wife doesn't kill me.

What language does 20 speak?
English, Latin, German, Spanish.

Who is 9 going out with?
Girl is single and ready to mingle.

What grade is 16 in?
Oh--she is fully done with school.

When's the last time you talked to 13?
Sunday day--though we dd e-mail back and forth yesterday.

What is 2's favorite band?
Aerosmith in college. Bare, Naked Ladies now.

Would you ever date 7?
No--she is already dating my boyfriend.

How long have you known 5?
September of 1998--we met at a party for my friend's birthday at my friend Iris' house.

Would you ever date 21?
I think that I would ice skate in hell first--no offense.

Is 11 single?

What is 19's last name?

Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 1?
We already have a serious relationship.

What school does 3 go to?
The school of hard rock.

Where does 15 live?
Los Feliz.

Are number 7 & 8 Best friends?
Not that I know of--though I'll check for BBF braceletts later.

Do you like 4?
I would like to think so.

How do you feel about number 11?
I wish we were closer.

How did you meet 17??
First day of college--she lived next door and ask if we wanted to play cards. I was a bit of a bitch.

What's the coolest thing you've ever done with 19??
We both taught at the same summer camp and would spend our free time playing gaga. We rock at that shite.

Would you ever date 6?
We would kill each other. Very Liz taylor-Richard Burton circa 'Who'ss Afraid of Virgina Woolf?'

Who would 10 make the best couple with??

Who's hotter... 6 or 14??
#6. Lil Jen is sso hotte it hurts. Sorry Matt.

What Harry ppotter character is 16?

If 5 were a model... who would they be on the poster for?
Sunny Delight.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

I Must Be Bored

I am thinking of getting a hair cut. It's getting to long and way to fem for my taste. On top of this I am thinking of dyeing my hair a different color. I'm torn between a honey brown with highights or maybe some shade of reddish blonde or blond with reddish highlights. Kind of like some of my older myspace photos. I don't know though.

I Am Not The Sphinx

So working is killing me this week. It appears that I have been hired as some type of tribute to Egyptian society in some sick twist of fate. See, a big part of my job is to clean up the mess that this production was in well before I made the scene. This entails me not only heading a crew of loggers and story assists but also making sure that the 1500 tapes we have are all in the system and logged. This is not fun at times.

But what I love is when I have a valid question--such as 'how can we prove that we have cleareneces for all our footage if not all the tapes have been properly documented?" and everyone nods and says "great question". I then offer a soultion to which it is respond with "well..let's see". So I await an answer that will involve either more money, hours, supplies or a combination of al three. And there is no answer.

And then when they come to me and ask what I did I repeat the plan and the questions involved and they nod and head off to ponder the latest "Rory Riddle". And thus nothing gets done. It just makes me feel like this...

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

This Seems True Enough

You Are A Blueberry Martini

You are a eclectic drink - liking to change drinks and venues often.
You are usually the first of your friends to find a cool new dive bar or cocktail.

You should never: Drink mystery drinks strangers hand you. Unless you want to wind up in foreign country.

Your ideal party: Is mobile, hopping from party to party.

Your drinking soulmates: Those with an Orange Martini personality.

Your drinking rivals: Those with a Chocolate Martini personality.

Monday, January 16, 2006

What Would He Think?

I really do wonder.
Trying to Be Good.

So I had one of those conversations this weekend that truly made me wonder if I am a good person. It was a side talk late one evening where I learned that something I did was upseting someone I love unintentionally and it made me wonder--am I good person?

I know that I can never be perfect; I talk shit, wear sarcastic shirts, smoke too much and spend too much time in the mirror. I'm not always a team player, in the mood, or as understanding as I could be and I know that people think less of me for this.

But I am always trying to be better. I have long talks with friends when they need someone to listen, I am more poltical than most people I know, I donate money and clothes when I can to the things I believe in but I can only do so much.

I guess I am tired of being held up to some standard of how people are supposed to be instead of being respected for the person I already. I can only appologize for so much and do so much.

It's just hard to feel wrong for being me. It's all I've got.
It's Raining Babies--Not Men.

I had one of those moments this weekend where I felt old. I was standing with Kelly smoking in the driveway out side of Alyssa's baby shower and wondering what I was doing there. I mean--don't get me wrong--I love kids and babies and shopping for gifts but i just felt out of my depth as baby games continued around me.

Thank for Valeska who was trying to figure out how to spike the punch, Kelly for smoking and Lizzie for being totally turned off by some off the aby games. And while I did have fun i just felt out of place. And did help me decide that when I adopt I will have a "Let's Get Drunk Before Rory Gets His Baby" party.

There will be games--but none involving 'guess the size of my stomach' or 'what's in that diaper'. More like 'Guess what you're drinking' or 'what's in this shot'... Could be good times.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Hopefully She Gets The Medal Back

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. - Shelley Winters, the forceful, outspoken star who graduated from blond bombshell parts to dramas, winning Academy Awards as supporting actress in "The Diary of Anne Frank" and "A Patch of Blue," has died. She was 85.


Winters died of heart failure early Saturday at The Rehabilitation Centre of Beverly Hills, her publicist Dale Olson said. She had been hospitalized in October after suffering a heart attack.

The actress sustained her long career by repeatedly reinventing herself. Starting as a nightclub chorus girl, advanced to supporting roles in New York plays, then became famous as a Hollywood sexpot.

A devotee of the Actors Studio, she switched to serious roles as she matured. Her Oscars were for her portrayal of mothers. Still working well into her 70s, she had a recurring role as Roseanne's grandmother on the 1990s TV show "Roseanne."

In 1959's "The Diary of Anne Frank," she was Petronella Van Daan, mother of Peter Van Daan and one of eight real-life Jewish refugees in World War II Holland who hid for more than a year in cramped quarters until they were betrayed and sent to Nazi death camps. The socially conscious Winters donated her Oscar statuette to the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam.

In 1965's "Patch of Blue," she portrayed a hateful, foul-mouthed mother who tries to keep her blind daughter, who is white, apart from the kind black man who has befriended her.

Ever vocal on social and political matters, Winters was a favored guest on television talk shows, and she demonstrated her frankness in two autobiographies: "Shelley, Also Known as Shirley" (1980) and "Shelley II: The Middle of My Century" (1989).

She wrote openly in them of her romances with Burt Lancaster, William Holden, Marlon Brando, Errol Flynn, Clark Gable and other leading men.

"I've had it all," she exulted after her first book became a best seller. "I'm excited about the literary aspects of my career. My concentration is there now."

Typically Winters, she also had a complaint about her literary fame: While reviewers treated her book as a serious human document, she said, talk show hosts Phil Donohue and Johnny Carson "only want to know about my love affairs."

Winters, whose given name was Shirley Schrift, was appearing in the Broadway hit "Rosalinda" when Columbia Pictures boss Harry Cohn offered her a screen test. A Columbia contact and a new name — Shelley Winters — followed, but all the good roles at the studio were going to Jean Arthur in those days.

Winters' early films included such light fare as "Knickerbocker Holiday," "Sailor's Holiday," "Cover Girl," "Tonight and Every Night" and "Red River."

When her contract ended, Winters returned to New York as Ado Annie in "Oklahoma!"

She would soon be called back and signed to a seven-year contract at Universal, where she was transformed into a blonde bombshell. She vamped her way through a number of potboilers for the studio, including "South Sea Sinner," with Liberace as her dance-hall pianist, and "Frenchie," as wild saloon owner Frenchie Fontaine, out to avenge her father's murder.

The only hint of her future as an actress came in 1948's "A Double Life" as a trashy waitress strangled by a Shakespearian actor, Ronald Colman. The role won Colman an Oscar.

"A Place in the Sun" in 1951 brought her first Oscar nomination and established her as a serious actress. She desperately sought the role of the pregnant factory girl drowned by Montgomery Clift so he could marry Elizabeth Taylor. The director, George Stevens, rejected her at first for being too sexy.

"So I scrubbed off all my makeup, pulled my hair back and sat next to him at the Hollywood Athletic Club without his even recognizing me because I looked so plain. That got me the part," she recalled in a 1962 interview.

Winters received her final Oscar nomination, for 1972's "The Poseidon Adventure," in which she was one of a handful of passengers scrambling desperately to survive aboard an ocean liner turned upside down by a tidal wave. By then she had put on a good deal of weight, and following a scene in which her character must swim frantically she charmed audiences with the line: "In the water I'm a very skinny lady."

Although she was in demand as a character actress, Winters continued to study her craft. She attended Charles Laughton's Shakespeare classes and worked at the Actors Studio, both as student and teacher. She appeared on Broadway as the distraught wife of a drug addict in "A Hatful of Rain" and as the Marx Brothers' mother in "Minnie's Boys."

Among her other notable films: "Night of the Hunter," "Executive Suite," "I Am a Camera," "The Big Knife," "Odds Against Tomorrow," "The Young Savages," "Lolita," "The Chapman Report," "The Greatest Story Ever Told," "A House Is Not a Home," "Alfie," "Harper," "Pete's Dragon," "Stepping Out" and "Over the Brooklyn Bridge."

During her 50 years as a widely known personality, Winters was rarely out of the news. Her stormy marriages, her romances with famous stars, her forays into politics and feminist causes kept her name before the public. She delighted in giving provocative interviews and seemed to have an opinion on everything.

Robert Mitchum once told her: "Shelley, arguing with you is like trying to hold a conversation with a swarm of bumblebees."

The revelations in her autobiographies provided endless material for interviewers and gossip writers. She wrote of an enchanted evening when she and Burt Lancaster attended "South Pacific" in New York, dined elegantly, then retired to his hotel room.

"This chance meeting proved to be the beginning of a long but painful romance," she wrote. "Despite the immediate and powerful chemistry between us, the love and the friendship, some wise part of me knew that he would never abandon his children while they were young and needed him."

She also told of a dalliance with William Holden after a studio Christmas party. In a glamorous, real-life version of the play "Same Time, Next Year," they continued their annual Yuletide rendezvous for seven years.

She wrote that despite their intimacy, they continued to refer to each other as "Mr. Holden" and "Miss Winters," and when they met on the set of the 1981 film "S.O.B." she said, "Hello, Mr. Holden." He smiled and replied, "Shelley, after your book, I think you should call me Bill."

Shirley Schrift was born on Aug. 18, 1920, and grew up New York, where she appeared in high school plays.

"My childhood is a blur of memories," she wrote in the first of her autobiographies. "Money was so scarce in my family that at the age of 9 I was selling magazine subscriptions door-to-door.

"It was during this stage of my life that I developed a whole fantasy world; reality was too unbearable. Every chance I got, I was at the movies. I adored them."

Working as a chorus girl and garment district model helped finance her drama studies. She gained practical training by appearing in plays and musicals on the summer Borscht Circuit in the Catskill mountains.

During the Detroit run of a musical revue, she married businessman Paul "Mack" Mayer on Jan. 1, 1942. He entered the Army Air Corps, and after the war, the pair found they had little in common. They divorced in 1948.

Winters' second and third marriages were brief and tempestuous: to Vittorio Gassman (1952-1954) and Anthony Franciosa (1957-1960). The combination of a Jewish Brooklynite and Italian actors seemed destined to produce fireworks, and both unions resulted in headlines.

A daughter, Vittoria, resulted from the marriage to Gassman. She became a successful physician.
Why I Love Him

So Samuel and I were IMing at work just randomnly when we talked about the past week. We both admited it had been stressful because he wasn't sure how I would be around Colton and so that made him nervous but that he slept like a baby in his own bed the night before.

I somewhat argeed that it was nice to have our own beds back when Samuel wrote the best snetence ever.

Samuel "I love you and all but we have been spending way too much time together. We could both use a break."

And I almost passed out because I felt the same thing!!! He gets me and I get him. Even when it's about not being together we are still on the same page.

Friday, January 13, 2006

True Enough

Your Inner Child Is Naughty

Like a child, you tend to discount social rules.
It's just too much fun to break the rules!
You love trouble - and it seems that trouble loves you.
And no matter what, you refuse to grow up!
Playing House and Host

So I haven’t been writing much as of late because I have been busy. Samuel has been spending a lot of time at my place since before the holidays—so much so that it is like living together without the mess or rent. And it is amazing how well we do things—taking turns on the computer, taking alone time when needed and just finding ways to cuddle on the small couches.

Things got busier in the past week as Colton—Samuel’s ex and Winnie Cooper—came to town for a week. It was decided that it was easier for all of us to spend time in my place with the multiple beds and space available. And it was fine if stressful.

Colton is every ex nightmare rolled up in one package—thinner, younger, butcher, smarter possibly and just as funny. Things grew odder since there was a mixture of sexual possibility at points between three of us for various reasons. One, Colton is hot, two I am very competitive and wanted to prove that I am better in bed and three is that Samuel has been sick with strep and so—no sex.

But at the end of the day we all had fun and grew very comfortable with each other. We did silly things like going to Weho and showing Colton around, taking pictures of stars on the walk and Hollywood sign and just having fun hanging out. Of course there was drama—Colton burnt his hand and so we had a long night at the ER but things turned out fine and the boys finally left in one piece.

It was just weird how easily we all spilled into the right roles and how settled I have felt. That being said it is nice to have my place to myself again to juts hang out looking nasty and watching ‘General Hospital’ without judgment.

It’s nice on both sides of the fence.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Quote of the Week

For the first time ever we have a team that has won!!! This comes from Lucy and Chloe and their tweaked hearing of a Steve Colbert Report.

"Love is like sausage. No one wants to see it made, and eventually it will destroy your heart."
In Honor of Last Saturday.

Last Staurday was a film fest at Davis and Dominic's consisting of hardcore fighting classics. And while each film had it's own great moment--Gina Gershon has an amazing line in 'Out for Justice'--I fell in love with Chuck Norris.

So in Honor of that--

Facts about Chuck Norris:

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.

Darkness is not the absence of light. It is the presence of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

Chuck Norris once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet O'Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man's blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked about this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood (to an organization other than the Red ross), he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself and air.

When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Chuck Norris punched himself in the face.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

You are what you eat. That is why Chuck Norris's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

I Knew In 4th Grade

Your 80s Heartthrob Is

Kirk Cameron
Bloody Hell!!!

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern.
A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock.
A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything.
No wonder you and London will get along so well.
Rock on Bitches

You Are Liz Phair!

Sexy tough indie girl...
Who's not afraid to be a little girly
"I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Rory Harris? I would have guessed Rory Rosenberg or even Rory Chase...

Xander Harris

36% amorality, 54% passion, 54% spirituality, 81% selflessness

Xander. Loyal, brave, true and passionate. Perhaps the best friend a
person could have, always willing to jump into the frey to help out his

Also, one of the most popular characters in the Buffy universe.


If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you
might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in
the following:

Nerds, Geeks & Dorks

Professional Wrestling

Love & Sexuality



My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 2% on morality
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 25% on repose
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 33% on spirituality
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 95% on selflessness

Link: The 4-Variable Buffy Personality Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test
This Makes Me Think of Thomas

After years of being indirectly involved with Hip-Hop music, actor/pop singer Patrick Swayze is finally experimenting with rap music. After years of being indirectly involved with Hip-Hop music, actor/pop singer Patrick Swayze is finally experimenting with rap music. (AllHipHop)

Move over Eminem. There’s a new man in town and he will make you look like a pussy. He can also rip your throat out with one karate chop. Yes, Patrick Swayze has been experimenting with “rap rhythms as an emotional undercurrent for ballads.” This is going to be so hardcore that it will make 50 cent, into 3 cent.


Would "Roadhouse" now be "Rap House?" or "Roadhouse Party?"
Quote of the Week.

Patty finally pulls her weight and makes the cut this week with the following exchange.

Me: You know, stuff like that makes Baby Jesus cry...

Patty: Eh--give him a pacifer, he'll be okay.

That cracks me up!!!

Wednesday, January 04, 2006


Just go there

I'm jealous
Dirty Book titles--Or What I Did With Chloe's Help

Easy enough--fun forever

Wuthering Thighs

Portriat of Dorian Gay

The Pearl Necklace

Pride and Preejaculation

Moby's Dick

Uncle Tom's Cabana

Madame Bovine

The Temptress


A Porno of a Young Artist As a Man

Everyone's Antonia

The Great Scatsby

From Whom the Boy Trolls

Animal Farm Fun

A Streetwalker Named Desire

Whorehouse Five

Who's Afraid of Vagina's Woolf?

Sense and Sensuality

Tranny and Zoe

War and Peace--of Ass

The Three Musket Queers

The Scarlett Pimper
I think I'm obsessed!

I think I'm Obsessed

Chloe and I were e-mailing yesterday and she mentioned how she was considering joining a roller derby team that she had found on line. And I have to admit that I got very jealous because well...


And now I am obsessed; with finding teams to go see, a gay league that I could join and have even changed parts of my myspace account to reflect the current trend. From the clothes, to the personas, to the music and look of the sport--I just really want to go play.

Like now.

Told You I Wasn't A Geek

Modern, Cool Nerd

56 % Nerd, 52% Geek, 13% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.

A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.

A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.

You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd.

Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used
to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a
pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world
that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and
geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very
least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent,
knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing
computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one
you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one
up there, winning the million bucks)!


Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Professional Wrestling

Love & Sexuality


Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 49% on nerdiness
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 71% on geekosity
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 8% on dork points

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

New Year--New Goals

In the year 2006 I resolve to:

Becoming a mail-order bride.

Get your resolution here

New Year's Rocked!!!

So I love New Year's. I know most people don't but I have always been into the idea of possibility and closure, which is what the holiday is about. I like seeing where things can go and tend to be flexible and much more wild on that Eve--even though Edie calls it a holiday for "Weekend Warrior's".

And this year was full of things to do and the problem became how to balance them all out. Between the party at the boys' house and the desire for me and Samuel to hang out with Miss Patty and her many men--lol--and wanting to hang with Kelly and Valeska at the BR and closing the bar by heading to Davis and Dominic's to meet up with the other party people for an after hour's event--we had plenty to balance out.

Added into the mix was that Renee--Samuel's best friend in L.A. from NYC and her boyfriend--was also thrown into the mix which gave me a bit of nerves. I originally thought they might come to the boys' house but they didn't feel up for big groups so we did stay at the boys’ later than expected but we did get to hug and kiss Miss Patty at midnight and head out to the BR shortly after.

We meet up with a tipsy Davis and a drunk Valeska whose ass was sore from being smacked all night--which made her very amusing--and Kelly was in rare form with the jokes and observations. And we did manage to meet up with Renee and her boy at the BR. Samuel's friends seemed nice and the BR was the perfect place to do it because it was low key enough to be comfy and I was tipsy which made me much more social.

The four of us--Renee, Boris, Samuel and I closed out the bar and made our way to the final destination of the night. Renee and Boris headed home while Samuel and I hit the Double D's after hours party. I had a great and finally got see Samuel drunk which was odd and amusing and led to some serious talk that was rather enlightening. Samuel and Valeska bonded more, my boyfriend endeared himself to a large portion of my friends and everyone seemed to have a great time.

We slept on the floor and woke up late which lead to "I Love the Nineties" and coffee with Davis and Dominic, which was very fun. I was happy as we made our way out in the rain to head back to my place. I mean, we managed to do everything on our list and we did it well. What a great way to start a great year!