Thursday, December 28, 2006

I Think...

I need to raise some HELL because I'm starting to bore myself. And not just get shitfaced, dance on a table, sleazy sex type HELL raising--something more infamous than that... The type of HELL raising that becomes mythology to all and adds more layers to the Rory Lore.

I'm not sure what it will be yet but it will most likely involve gold pumas, Jack Daniels, a pack of smokes, my 'Gay Pimp' necklace and a soundtrack containing Gwen Stefani, Mickey Avalon, Lady Sovereign and James Brown's 'Hot Pants'.

Everyone up for it?

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

48 Hours of Christmas

So the holiday has come and gone. I never have much to think about this time of year--I just go through the motions of parties and cards and quick drinks. Having worked in retail for more than one Christmas season I have learned to turn a blind eye to the music and the lights and the hodgepodge of trees and menorahs and instead focus on the bright flashes of rosey cheeks and gleeful greetings more than the semantics of it all.

It's not until Christmas Eve Day that I get with the program and start with the music and decorations. I hang ornaments from my orchild and string lights along the rail outisde my door, that I sit down and send out my e-greet cards and wrap my gifts then just as quickly as a day or two later it all comes down to be placed back in the dusty closet off my hall.

I'm not sure where my disdain for the trrappings come from, maybe it's just the retail business that killed it for me (Samuel, Davis and even Charity all hate the music and we were once lifers in retail so I don't feel far off), or maybe its some childhood tramua that I have yet to remember or maybe I'm just not a cheerful silly guy who can get into all the seasons.

But I do like giving gifts--not so much reciving--I like to give people something I think they need or can rock out in a sexy way. I like hearing what people are up to through their cards and catching up over Eddy cider at the various parties.

But now its over. And on to my favorite holiday. New Years!!!

Monday, December 18, 2006

The Real Uncle Rory

So my brother finally had his baby and as of this past Saturday I am now really an Uncle Rory. Her name is Olivia and she is so pretty and adorable...

My Sister and My Neice

A New Grandmother

A New Family

Not like the rest of my family at all....
You Know You Want To

Dear Rory,

I _____ you. You have a nice______. You make me _______. You

should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me =________.

If I saw you now I'd __________. I would build a _______ just

for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________.

We could __________ under the stars.


(P.S. ______________.)

REPOST THIS "DEAR (YOUR NAME)" AND SEE WHAT ANSWERS U GET... this lots of fun!! and you can really make someone's day. Leave them a message after u fill it in
Sexy Legs, Baked Treats, Heartfelt Talks and Some Good Night Moon…The Cruise Finale.

(Outfit: Mint green Future Ex-Husband t-shirt, A&F jeans, brown sneakers and fur lined brown hoody.)

The final day of the cruise—where to begin? I woke up a bit late that morning due to my late night drunken packing and crawled into the shower. I did some more last minute bag stuffing then made my way with Lola out on to the ship. I barely remember making breakfast and shortly after ended up on the deck with Kelly, Robin, Ali, Lola, Johnny, and Henry in the day’s sun.

Kelly and I ended up watching the start of the sexy legs competition as I debated if I should go and get some more end of trip details down. I made my way down to my room where I filled out baggage tags and customs forms as well as changed into something cuter for pool side.

(Outfit: Yellow ‘Its Not You It’s Me T-shirt, red swim trunks, and black flip flops).

I made my way back to the pool area where they had moved on to the belly flop portion of the cruise Olympics. I was bored by it and engaged in various conversations with the gang while slowly working my way through a bloody Mary and studying several ship cuties including Cruise crush John. I wandered the decks after a bit and stumbled across a sleeping Alexander on a lounge chair. I talked with him briefly before heading back to my room.

The Club Car (as our room came to be known) was open with a sick Lizzie and a tired Lola both watching bad movies. I laid on my bed and read a bit more of ‘Sense and Sensibility’ while making light gossip. I then took a nap myself while the girls moved on with their day.

(Outfit. Gray sweater with yellow stripes, blue sneakers and A&F jeans.)

I woke up and finished off the last of my packing with the exception of two last outfits for the next few days. I made my way around the ship and playing catch up with various people while Kaylee, Ali, Robin and some others made their way to the ‘80’s Teen Dance Film’ tribute show while I had some drinks with the others. I made my way back to the room to fill out tip cards before dinner.

(Outfit: Brown metro motor scooter t-shirt, brown fur lined hoody and jeans.)

The last dinner had a last minute switch up with Ali and Robin joining us at our table for the night. We feasted on a little bit of everything and even though Ava and Lola were disappointed by the lack of crème Brule I had some baked Alaska. It was yummy and the meal finished off with some said good byes to our wait staff. They were great—and could even balance plates on their heads and dance for our enjoyment.

Post dinner we made our way back to the rooms to leave our suitcases in the halls, get some drinks and make our way for once stroll around the ship. It was cold on the top deck so a bunch of us formed a circle and cuddled for warmth while catching up. It felt like a very intimate bon-fire type gathering which was fun and silly with Carmen, Ali, Robin, Valeska, Liam, Alexander, Johnny, Kelly, Lola and Kaylee. And even though Lizzie wasn’t feeling well, I took a number of trips back to the rooms to see how she was feeling.

Eventually Lola and I came to the deck for a smoke and to catch up. She was cold and a bit tired but not so much so that we didn’t see two of the hottest guys on the whole ship. It was just our luck that it was the last night and we had ditched high fashion for hoodies. But we would honestly do with two cute strangers on a boat? Nothing that would be acceptable on dry land.

After walking Lola back to the room, and getting a refill on my vodka, I made one last run back to the gang and I came topside to see that everyone had gone—I think to a late night buffet—and I ran into Ty searching for them as well. Ty and I hadn’t much time to talk on the ship so he and I spent my last few hours on the boat walking the decks and talking about his engagement amongst the stars and the deep sea. A lot was said and felt and I was glad that we got some private time to just reconnect for a bit.

And then I took a bit of time for myself on the ship to just stare at the stars and think about my life. I have to say that I must have been a pirate in a past life because of how at home I felt on the ship. I had a cigarette or two as I said good bye to the night.

Bed came early but it was time for me to wake up in Los Angeles and I was more than ready. The cruise had been fun and relaxing and goofy and filled with many memories that surprised me more often than not. I hope the next time I’m on a boat more of my friends—and the boy--can be there. And that I will get my land legs back soon than later.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Teddy This

You scored as A Big Bear. You are such a cuddle teddy bear it is untrue go scare them/cuddle them.

A Big Bear


Straight Acting


S + M guy


The all-round cute gay guy




Raging Queer


Straight Queer Basher


What type of Gay are YOU?
created with

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Mexican Melodrama/ Clashing Colours; Cruise Part 2

So we hit Mexico running by jumping on the first bus into town. We were quickly made aware of a place called Papas and Beers by a group of fellow shipmates via their many slurred requests for the nearest restaurant to our tour bus driver. After a hot ride we were dropped off in the heart of Ensanada to hit the shops running. A small group of us made our ay into a handmade craft store and began poking around a slew of Frieda Kohl boxes and woven serapes.

It wasn’t until the top of the stairs that the first wave of land sickness hit me, almost resulting in me falling down a full flight into metal mirrors. I quickly realized that something wasn’t right and made it my plan to stick to either Kelly or Kaylie so as to not get lost or hurt myself. We made our way down the crowded sidewalks with the rest of the gang in search of deals and meals. We followed the loud music and steady stream of old frat boys and hot young girls and ended up outside of—you guessed it—Papas and Beers.

What we learned was that Papas and Beers has wet shirts contests between ten and noon, that they flips customers upside down for their shots and that regardless of how huge the bar is that they can have a second huge merchandise store across the street which carries sticker, t-shirts and tank tops all fit for your average fourteen year old girl or 4forty year old man. Curiosity answered we moved on down to a nearby cantina and settled in with tacos and margaritas.

After foods and booze we continued to shop along the main streets; people bought Mexican wrestling masks and scarves while I gossiped with all the girls at one point or another. I was still be feeling bad though and was eager to return to the boat. After a brief stop at the customs store we made our way back to the boat and I collapsed into my bed while the others hit the hot tub and pool.

(Outfit of sweat shorts and t-shirt with cute sneakers.)

I slept for an hour or two then when I woke up and decided that I needed to work out a bit to get my body back in synch. I made my way to the ship deck and began my laps while thinking about some notes for a new project I was working on. It was actually soothing to make my laps—4.5 to do a mile—and after 2 miles I decided that I needed to hit the gym. This was a mistake as getting on any machine that requires you to possibly bounce while on a ship when you already have leg issues is guaranteed to make you almost throw up. Regardless of my nausea I continued bravely through then made my way back to the room to shower and change before the captain’s reception and formal dinner.

I returned to find Lola spread across the bed with Lizzie as they waited for their cheese plates and sandwiches from room service. They were hungry and taken drastic steps by calling for food from multiple rooms in order to get it faster. We also got a tray of cookies from Ali in honor of her birthday. I quickly showered and started to flip through my clothes while nibbling on brie and watching my favorite Ashanti video.

(Outfit—pinstripe pants, blue paisley button down shirt, black-gray blazer with black Steve Madden loafers.)

After a bit of rushing both Lola and I managed to meet up with the others for the big captain’s reception before the formal dinner. We made our way through the oat past other wonderfully over dressed guests and half dressed tourists. We wait for a group picture with the captain which ironically had to be taken by my ship crush John—the only one tall enough to get us all into frame. It was also somehow decided that I should have a champagne in my hands at all times; the crew was always handing me drinks whenever I saw them. I think they thought I needed to be drunk and damn if they weren’t right. There was some lovely slow dancing with Ali and Robin showing us how it was done.

It seemed like the reception ended too soon—7 glasses of champagne will do that to you—and we made our way to the dinning room to get one last photograph before our meal. Of course there were many tacky backgrounds including ships at night, a brightly dressed Lido deck and one that was model after the grand staircase from ‘Titanic’ but these had lines way too long. So we posed with abstract art for a very diva-like photographer who didn’t find it funny that we offered to help set up the chairs for our shoot.

After a few more photos, including a few ‘Brady Bunch’ style on the main staircase of the ship, we made our way into dinner. We all seemed to have a little bit of everything we wanted with great conversation and many laughs. Except when they served humus in some carved out zucchini which I really wanted—but it would have killed me. But it was all delicious and actually served in the proper portions. This means that Johnny had several dishes while Kelly watched her man go to town.

(Outfit, pinstripe pants, 70 inspired blue bird printed shirt with freshly tousled hair.)

After dinner a small group of us hit our staterooms, the girls to change shoes and for me and Kelly to change clothes as well as refresh our drinks. We made our way up stairs to the Schooner Bar where cocktails started for half the group while Lizzie, Kaylee, Lola and I made our way to the nightclub for singles night—unfortunately they were having what appeared to be bad couple’s karaoke. Though it was hosted by ship crush John so at least I was happy.

After several trip between the bar and the nightclub the music finally started and I managed to get in some great dancing with my girls to the hits of the 70’s and the 80’ until ‘Fergilious’ came on. Not to be deterred we managed to keep dancing as a group for a bit longer but slowly and surely the girls dropped off one by one and leaving me to own the dance floor the rest of the night. I did keep the moves going and the drinks flowing and even ended up dancing with ship crush John if only by accident. He taught me a very odd dance to some unknown hip hop song which was dirty yet crazy at the same time. It was fun.

I finally made my way solo back to the room around three thirty-four o’clock after a number of sweaty dances and smoked cigarettes with various strangers met in the nightclub. I, in my semi-impaired state, decided that while Lola slept I would start packing the played out outfit choices. I didn’t learn until the next morning that I had woken her up. I wish she had said something. But I climbed into bed—excited for the next day. Our full day out to sea.

Coming up next—belly flops, huddled masses and a farewell to night waters.

Monday, December 11, 2006

So, here's how it works:1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)2. Put it on shuffle3. Press play4. For every question, type the song that's playing (don't cheat)5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

Opening Credits:My Life—Mariah Carey

Waking Up:Love Me or Hate Me—Lady Sovereign

First Day At School:Last Night I Dreamt Somebody Loved Me –The Smiths

Falling In Love:Don’t Leave Me This Way – Thelma Houston

Fight Song:Connected –Stereo MCs

Breaking Up:Calling It Quits –Aimee Mann

Prom:Tell Me Something Good –Rufus with Chaka Kahn

Life's OK:Le Disko—Shiny Toy Guns

Mental Breakdown:Fergilious --Fergie

Driving:Stars and Boulevards--Augustana

Getting Back Together:Party Lights –Claudine Clark

Wedding:Stars Are Blind—Paris Hilton

Birth of Child:Say What I Mean –The Like

Final Battle:One, Two Step –Ciara w/ Missy Elliot

Death Scene:Lovely Day –Bill Withers

Funeral Song:My Babydaddy—B-Rock and the Bizz

End Credits:03 Bonnie and Clyde –Jay Z and Beyonce
I Was Giving Runway Looks While They Were Giving Sears Catalog

The cruise. Sorry it’s taken me so long to write about it but things since coming back to land have been rough. (Like waiting for my land legs to return. It took a week!!!!) Excuses made—I’m gonna start from a day or two before we disembarked.

So if you read my blog you know all about the passport drama and the fear that it wouldn’t arrive in time. It happened to show up the day of my faux anniversary with the boy so that was settled about a week before. So all that was left to worry about was money and packing.

Now the money worries are my weakness. I guess because I’m always worried that I’m two steps away from being on the street. I knew going on the cruise itself was fine, paid for, but I wasn’t sure how much money I might need for extra expenses. Between that and work not giving any answer as to whether we would be paid for Thanksgiving much less the following Friday I was concerned I might be really broke when I got back. That and I was on the tail end of my current show and hadn’t been totally sure that my next job was a definite. Even though I had been told by an executive to not take another job I am always worried until I have a little deal memo in my face. So I was very concerned about cash.

Add to the mix the fact that I hadn’t packed and was unsure what to bring and you end up with a very edgy Rory. Of course Samuel tried to help me out with the packing by explaining that all I needed was three pairs of pants, two shirts per day and some formal wear for the big dinner. But I would only maybe pack that light if I was going away for two days to his house, much less a cruise. That and I don’t so much pack outfits as much as visual experiences. But I made a game plan and managed to fit a fifth of my closet into two bags. And some booze too.

The final issue on my list of things to worry about was how exactly I would be not only getting down to the port but also the return trip. It had been somewhat settled when Rocky offered to take me with her when she dropped of Lola (My roomie for the cruise) that Friday and to pick us up the following Monday. My only concern was that it would take us awhile to clear customs and Rocky would have to work so it didn’t seem the most realistic game plan and so I decided to look into other options for the ride home. Fortunately Kelly and Johnny said they would be able to squeeze me and so the game was on.

(Outfit: My brown ‘Miss Scarlet in the Hall with the revolver t-shirt, cute brown sneaks and dark jeans with my fur lined hoody sweatshirt.)

The morning of the cruise was a bit hectic. Between getting up early after a day of turkey and wine, dragging my bags down the longest apartment complex ever and last minute passport, wallet, paperwork check we finally go underway. After a quick stop to grab Lizzie (and debate about whether we needed to go by her office to get her luggage tags) we made our way down to the Port of Los Angeles. It was a fun ride filled my many jokes including several about the unfortunately named Terminal Island. (Don’t take the bridge; it will bring you to Terminal Island. It’s a dead end. Ha!)

After hugging Rocky and telling her to give love to the boy (who had his appendix burst and had operation the night before Thanksgiving) the girls and I ran into the rest of our cruising buddies. After checking in (where I was terrified something would go wrong and I would end up detained in some way) and making our way through a labyrinth of pre-cruise photo ops, we finally boarded the boat.

Lola and I tired immediately to get to our room; we were both worried about our contraband but I was unwilling to engage in conversation about it. (I tend to find when I am in the midst of doing something I shouldn’t that it is best to ignore the issue lest I give someone the impression that I am doing something wrong.) After a bit of a wait we were finally able to see the room and get a lay of the land. After having our beds separated and realizing that we still had to wait for our bags we decided to make our way to lunch.

Now the cool thing about a cruise ship is that it is almost exactly like a hotel, in that everything pretty, clean and easy to find once you spend some time there. We made our way through the huge lobby and up to the buffet lunch. There we were joined by Ava, Henry and Lizzie after we stole the table from Kaylee and Alexander. Lunch was fun if a bit unnerving with all the vibrations of the boat but I did learn some things. Like some of us aren’t thrown by boys in dresses. Matter of fact—some of us might date them.

After lunch we made our way back to the room to begin the unpacking process. I sorted outfits as Lola sorted through the television to the video channel and we made ourselves at home. We kept the door open so people could pop in and out—with gossip of course. I found out that Ty was engaged—shocking—and Kelly got to see the reaction on my face. And then it was time for the lifeboat drill.

I really wanted to dress as a pirate in my life jacket but no one had an eye patch so then I suggested that we run screaming to the deck ala ‘Poseidon Adventure’ but no one took me up on that idea. So depressed and grumpy I made my way to our lifeboat with the rest of the gang for a school on proper escape policy. Only because I was told they would know if I was not there. It was actually kind of fun—we got shushed by a crew member and I found my sailor crush. He was British and tall and cute but he did have big ears and British teeth so most of the girls didn’t agree with me on his hotness. But afterwards was nap time. Not.

No sooner than I had curled up on the bed then Kelly came in insisting that Lola and I had to come to the Bon Voyage party on the roof deck. It was odd to wave good bye to Terminal Island, the odd freighter ship docked nearby and even the odd grouping of custom agents standing boat-side. The exciting ‘Love Boat’ moment finished I finally napped for a few hours—after a couple of chapters of ‘Sense and Sensibility’.

(Outfit. Black polo, blue and black tie, blue velvet blazer with cute jeans.)

Feeling refreshed I woke up to change for my first formal dinner which was a bit more perplexing than I imaged. I pride myself on always knowing what to wear and say in any given moment of time but it was my first time in ages being around multi course meals and men that would leap to pick up my napkin. So nerves were had but fortunately I was seated with a great table for conversation and distraction. Dinner was wonderful—even though Robin did compare my outfit to Avril Levine. I don’t think he meant it as a compliment. But I did get to have steak. Yum.

(Outfit. Vintage green short sleeved dress shirt with mint green t-shirt underneath and patterned denim. )

Dinner finished the only thing left to do was find fun. I briefly returned to the room with a handful of people for a quick change of clothes. I was getting ready for fun and formal wear was not part of the plan. I made my way with a small portion of the group and hit the piano bar. Now I have issues with piano bars—the first bar I was ever thrown out of was a gay p[piano bar back in Boston and there was a particular birthday (Looking at you Heddy) held at a piano bar that lead to a disastrous affairette. So piano bars and I are not friends.

That and I just wasn’t feeling like sitting much but Lola wasn’t feeling well and most everyone else was tired from the holiday. Everyone except Ali and Robin, Ali’s sister Sari and Marissa who were in the nightclub dancing up a storm. So of course I spent the next hour jumping back and forth to both places and unsatisfied with both. And let me tell you, the ship’s nightclub looks exactly like a set from the every cruise film you’ve ever seen. But regardless, the piano bar was more fun at points than I expected and the nightclub more draining that I would have guessed.

The night round out with me on the ship deck with Lola, smoking cigarettes and talking with Lizzie and Valeska as we waited to see where Liam went off to. I learned some interesting gossip and was even called a best friend by someone unexpected. And was given a hint about some past romantic tension that at some point I will have to deal with. But bed that night was early and very much needed.

The next day was Mexico and a daytrip to Ensedana. Imagine my surprise when I woke up that morning to look out our porthole to see the foreign equivalent of 7-11 but with people snapping pictures; I could be in the background of some poor family’s photos. In my pajamas with full on bed head. But I managed to overcome my horror and close the shades before Lola woke up. Why should we both have international shame?

(Outfit. White sweater hoody with my FCUK cap, board shorts and my cute black and white Vans.)

We slowly got dressed and made our way to breakfast with Ava and Henry. We decided to see who else we could round up before going on to the shore but everyone was in various stage of prep so a small group of us headed out. It was hot and crowded and a bit familiar when we hit the pier, which was nice but we could hear the sounds of traffic and smell the food before we even got on the shuttle. Where we learned all about Papas and Beer.

Up next—Mexico, formal night, drunk packing….