Sunday, April 15, 2012

It Just Takes Time

So Johnno has got a new job... His dream job that he has been pursuing--much more than I would have done. I'm so happy for him, so happy for the money, the career movement, the good people he will be working with.

I totally owe Kelly a night of drinks.

It's funny because with this job being nailed down it makes wedding planning easier... In terms of days off, in terms of how we budget more for the day and just a general sense of calm and steadiness in his life. I can't wait to figure out the next few steps and get things moving again.

I'm glad that he is patient.

Sunday, April 08, 2012

It's Probably For The Best

So I return to my job tomorrow after my long ass hiatus... While it was good to be off, to work out when I wanted, orginize bookshelves and clean out the closet, start on my new novel--its also had the weird side effect of making me feel lonely.

I know it's in my head.

But it has been bothering me how disconnected I have been feeling. Part of it is just spending the day alone for the most part, seeing only Lola and Johnno for days on end, leaving the house became a goal of sorts. However--I have also spent a lot of my time trying to reach out to people--via texting, via emails, voice mails and Facebook...

And people haven't been responding.

I was thinking the other day about the last few times I have had really moments with my friends--more than just hanging out at someone's house but talking and connecting. I realized that outside of a few random moments; book club with Kirby and Wynona, Edie's brief pitstop in LA over Easter week and Chloe's annual visit--I haven't had many times of true connection.

It's annoying me.

That's not to say that my friends are doing anything wrong--I have just started to see how much out of the loop I am... I don't IM or text anyone friend everyday, I don't get invited out during the week very often, I don't get phone calls or texts on the fly about things... Instead I spend a lot of time with Johnno--which is good--but very few other people...

I think that is leading to other problems.

Part of it is I don't feel very wanted as a friend as of late--I have done some reaching out but like I said--there's not much reaching back. So much that I don't want to be the one making all the effort--which leads to me and Johnno going out to bars on our own.... I love our time together but I wish we would connect with other people... I don't know if that makes sense...

And so I am overthinking things... Getting back to my job--which I love--will be a step in stopping the negative thoughts. So it will be a good thing. Let's see if I feel this way in a week.