Thursday, May 31, 2007

From Piper's blog.

"the thing is, happiness isn't that hard, or rather it shouldn't be that hard."

It moves me in the moment.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Unexpected Delights

Last night was rather nice. I was a litle depressed because of the situtation with my mom and sister--due to circumstance we weren't able to meet up again before they headed back to Boston and I was feeling guilty about the whole affair. I think things could have been better if I knew sooner they were coming and so i could have cleared my schedule better but it was not to be. Instead I was able to head out to drinks with Lizzie, Bess, Shelly and Joy over at Mexacalli.

It was nice to get some face time with the girls that I don't see enough. I got to hear a rather funny story about Shelly's trip up north, make plans to go out tonight with Lizzie Bess and Shelly for a film and get to catch up a bit with Joy. Later I headed out to Match where I was able to meet up with Valeska, Kelly and Johnny as well as some of Valeska's friends. It was also important for me to touch bases with kelly about some things and it seems everything is good in the world.

It's nice to go out and just have a fun and laid back night for a change. It was unexpectedly delightful and something i need to try and do more of.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

I Am A Paper Cup-Coo Coo Ca Choo

I think 31 is the year that will break me. So much has happened and so fast and unexpected in means and fallout that I spend a portion of my time just being flummoxed. And its not like any one thing will set of this feeling but rather all the conditions have been a bit stormy. Which leaves me at a loss.

My Vegas trip from two weekends ago was mostly good for private time with my girls. What I wasn’t anticipating was how weird everyone has been in some form or another. There were hives and tears and confessions and laughter and drunkenness that lead to places I could have packed luggage for. And most of the turmoil was inner. I had a moment when out to dinner when I just wanted to be anywhere other than where I was, to throw my glass against a wall and storm out to cry alone. I don’t think I have felt that drained and raw in so long. Much worse than anything post college. But I pushed through and managed to get myself under control.

Then my sister and mom came to visit which was nice but bittersweet and left me feeling as selfish as could be. There is something about a four year old you have never met giving you love and tears and attention that can make you feel like the biggest heel to have ever lived. So I wonder if I am not a good person for making more of an effort but I also have never been met half way on the subject so I am even more at a loss.

I just feel like I have been falling flat as of late. As a friend to those who are in need, as a son and brother to those who want me, as a person of interest in the romantic sense. It’s just so draining to feel as if I am so lost. I dream of fog and shadows and running through them calling out for something unknown.

I know I am being too hard on myself but I can’t seem to stop at the moment.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Amazing Moments of Empowerment Only Come After Heartbreaking Disappointment When Shallow Narcissistic Comparisons With People Who Have No Clue How Close to the Edge One of Their ‘Closest’ Friends is Living.


Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Here's My Weekend; Bulletin Points Style


Missed the movie in Westwood for work. Besides staying late for a new hire and being stood up, I was called by boss ten minutes after getting home which lead to me doing 45 minutes of work from home. (Fun)

Since I was depressed about missing the film I decided to have some drinks and watch 'The Way We Were'. This lead to me being drunk, crying briefly at the end and leaving a drunken message for Samuel. (Good times.)

I have been watching Jaq's cat while she is in Europe working. Her apartment (across from mine) is next to the managers and I was visiting with said cat when I got a knock on her door at 230 in the morning. I opened the door to find a drunken neighbor looking for the managers because two of her friends were arguing with one of the new neighbors. (A bit scary)

I went back with new girl (Michelle) to help with the fight situation after the managers didn't open their door. Turns out that two of her guy friends were making out and the new neighbor was upset about it and they were all fighting. I watched for a bit and everyone calmed down and Michelle invited me in for drinks. I was drunk so I went. (Why not?)


Woke up in bed with Galen; new neighbor Michelle's friend. (He would be the other gay guy--not part of the couple.) This is incredibly funny and awkward and led to conversations about names and tattoo. (Very hung over)

Galen left me hung over in bed. I did yoga and drank almost a gallon of water before heading out to get my hair cut since I might not have time in the next week or two before mom comes to visit. I also try to figure out if I will be capable of drinking at Joy's party. (Ambitious)

Party is wonderful. Willis is there for quite a bit and we get to talking. Lola briefly gets teary, Edie gets drunk and dances on the banquet, the music is quasi-lame, Vedder pays for almost everyone's drinks, and I manage a bit of time and space with all involved. And tipsy! (Committed.)


Some of us ended up at an after-hour club post Joy's party. The "club" is a hole in the wall time house run by Jamaicans and is quickly nicknamed the ganja house for we have to smoke our cigarettes in the yard but pot is fine anywhere in the house. The party posse at this point is Nolan, Dominic, Vedder, Edie (the four of whom are wasted) as well as Lola and I. We are the only white people there for the first few hours and are very unpopular since our friends cheer whenever someone comes in. (Mortified.)

Lola and I decide that the kids need to get some food so we talk them to Denny's. Edie is slowly sobering up and labels the three drunken boys dead weight. Vedder calls a cab and disappears before food. I steal everything of the table because it's funny. Nolan throws up in the bathroom. I don't eat at Denny's because am trying to drop as much weight as possible before mom comes to visit. (Hungry)

Wake up five hours after getting home to head out shopping with Valeska and Kelly in Beverly Center. Discover H & M. Discover how much I can spend at H & M. Fall in love with random jacket at Planet Funk. Realize that I need said jacket. Come home with about four bags of clothes. (Expensive and fashionable.)

Hung out with Kelly back at her house. I slept on her floor. Talked about how excited we are for Vegas. Became very excited about Lucy and Chloe coming down from San Fran to Vegas since we haven't seen them in over two years. (Excited, excited, excited.)

Came home to do laundry and have message from Galen on land line. Called him back to find out he is wondering if I found a black American Express card in my room. I tell him no and am a little offended that he thinks I am some trick that would steal shit but don't say anything since I was a trick enough to get drunk and just wake up in bed with him even if we didn't have sex.

Galen then tells me about how the gay couple from Friday night had just met and that he thinks one of them (Dan—not Danny which is the other guy's name) used his card in Long Beach. I then hear long story about Dan lives in a halfway house after getting out of rehab which was court enforced so Galen isn't mad because Dan probably needed the money since he was most likely kicked out after spending all night with us at Michelle's.

I feel a bit better and Galen asks when he can see me and I ask why and he makes fun of me. 'I'm trying to be nice to you. I would like you to not think I accuse every guy I meet of steal shit. I'm not Richard Gere. I'd like to take you on a proper date.' I say I have to call him back. (Unsure)

Then I watch 'Brothers and Sisters' then call Edie for advice but differ on doing anything about Galen yet. I finish my laundry and go to bed. (Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy)

Monday, May 07, 2007

Questions from The Teen Dream Machine...

What in the hell are you doing for a job currently? Working with Nolan on a new television about fat people and surgery. It makes me stay away from candy. Sweet, sweet candy.

You have one day left to life. You can go anywhere in the world. Where do you go? What do you wear? I would head to ... Cairo to see the pyramids of Gaza. It would be hot so I would probably been in a linen jumpsuit so I don't die. Or dressed like Brendan Fraiser in 'The Mummy'.

What experience has taught you the most in the last year? Heartbreak tends to make your reexamine your life and what it is you really want and the hows and whys of what you didn't get. So yeah—Samuel and I ending was the lesson.

In 45 words or less, why is LA actually a fun town to live in? Everyday there is a moment of undeniable beauty—the houses light up the hills like a hundred Christmas lights, the feeling of warm breezes and music and friends as you drive along the beach, the fact that it is so wide and spread open. It's so blue, green and sun kissed.

Why do people bitch about psydo-celebs and then still read and all other such blogs/Entertainment Tonight? Simply? People are hypocritics. They just are—every time someone says to me "Paris is an idiot, what has she done?" my response is always the same. She has done something—she's making you talk about her, care about her, hate he. You want her to go away? Then just stop talking about her, thinking about her, reading about her. You have the power.

Per the rules of the interview game, here is how you play along:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions, so make sure I have your email address. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Fight Ignorance

Al Interviews Rory: Rory tells all!

What is your one Guilty pleasure? Hmm—depends on who you talk to… I think it would be that I reread my soap opera books when really drunk in order to sober up. But most of my past 'sexes' might disagree with that.

When you first meet a guy what is the one thing he can do that would totally turn you on?
Hmm—talk to me about classic literature—especially Jane Austen. Or sing to me which is rather odd.

You must eat one of the following everyday for the rest of your life; choose one- Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches, pizza, or cold cereal? Jesus—this hard because I really dislike most of the above…. So I will have to go for pizza though it would have to have jalepenos and stuffed crust.

Put these qualities in order of importance to you?- Good Looks, Good Manners, Good Taste, Good Job, Good Car, Good Temper, and Big Brains
. Good manners, good temper, big brains, good job, good taste, good looks.

Please complete? "The Worst thing that I have seen, done or heard is." The Worst thing that I have seen, done or heard is --what you did last night. I know and it's WRONG!

Kaylee is Nosy!

Would you rather give up primetime TV or soap operas? Ask me after they decide whether or not there will be a season four of 'Veronica Mars'. I think that will be the game changer.

If you could have one 'do-over' in your life, what would you do differently? I wouldn't have been such a bitch to Dylan Drazen. To this day I feel like shite about what I did and allowed my friends to do to him.

What is one thing you definitely wouldn't change, despite what other people might say or have said? I wouldn't change anything ever. Don't like it? Fuck off.

Seriously, why don't you like chocolate? I just don't have a sweet tooth. At all. Like I can't stand Coke cause it's too sweet.

What accomplishment are you most proud of? I spent one summer teaching at a camp and there was this one kid Andrew. He spent the first part of the summer spitting and yelling and hitting people so none of the counselors wanted to deal with him. I agreed to spend a little time everyday with him and telling jokes and explaining what he was doing wrong and asking him about why. He seemed to get better but was still very stand-offish with most people. But the last day of that summer Andrew refused to leave camp until he said good bye and he cried the whole time which made me cry.

Joy is Funny

Will Carly and Sonny ever end up back together? This is so chicken or the egg. The real question is—will I care one way or the other? Probably not.

What social setting are you most comfortable in? I am comfortable wherever there is music, booze and night breezes.

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Because my life is like a Hitchcock film and I am Tippy Headdren in a phone booth at all times.

It's hot outside, your air conditioning is broken, and it's just intolerably hot inside. How do you spend the day? I would do some yoga to work out the toxins in a hardcore way.

For what reason are you big in Japan? (I know you have that on a hat or shirt) Ralph Macchio and I made a film back in the late 80s. Let's just say it's quite popular and gives a whole new meaning to 'wax on, wax off'.

Per the rules of the interview game, here is how you play along:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions, so make sure I have your email address. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

These Are From My Darling Miss Lucy--Interview style.

Do you use the alias' for people you know in your blog to protect
the innocent?

I could honestly care less about the innoncent--it's more about keeping the troublemakers safe... I mean--a lot of people read my blog who don't have any idea what the alias' stand for which means their first thought upon meeting Edie in reality isn't about how I say she dresses like a drag queen or that Tommy drinks like Betty Ford in the 70's.

How do you decide what name to use for each person?

There is a weird process I go through with the names that varies from person--Lucy's name comes from a short story the real Lucy wrote in which the main character was very self reflective... Chloe's name comes from the fact that Chloe Sevingy played Mona Ramsey in 'Tales of the City' and real life Chloe is my own Mona.

Then there are some people's name that are just variations of their real names and some who even were able to name themselves. (this doesn't even begin to address the fact that multiple have different names for different reasons such as I wanna talk shite or keep a secert for them.

Did you drink the water in the river of 'It's A Small World" in
Disneyland? You did, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?!?

Some of my best fashion inspiration comes from the fact that I ALWAYS drink the water at 'It's a Small World'. This ride is responsible for many fashion movements as well as Gwen Stefani's hit 'Wind It Up'.

Cheez Whiz or Velveta?

To eat? Velveta.... For other? Cheez Whiz for sure!

Does your mom read your blog?

My mom sure does read my blog and always tries to guess who's who. And she's really worried about that slut Gabe. Which is quite funny don't ya know!?

Per the rules of the interview game, here is how you play along:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions, so make sure I have your email address. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.