Last night after wine with the girls--I was walking home and ready to climb into bed. I did have an offer for a ride but I turned it down because I wanted to enjoy the weather. This is usually when I would have a cigarette as well.
Walking along I thought about how easy it would be to swing by the store and grab a pack of cigarettes at the 711. I only really wanted one and could just hide away the rest of the pack and be fine.
This NEVER works.
But having made my mind up--I actually pulled the patch off my arm and started to walk down the longer way--past 711. But then I caught myself and turned the corner for the shortcut home because I realized I did not WANT a cigarette.
This is HUGE
So much of the struggle with this comes down to training yourself to say no, act indifferent and remind yourself constantly why you can't. But you always still want one; always always always. Which is what made tonight so different.