My mind is telling me no but my body is telling me yes...

okay...I have gone to the other side.... I have crossed the line and have lost my morals... And it is all for the sake of fashion. See, I have always know that Ambercrombie and Fitch was evil, I am well versed in their hypocrasy and how just wrong they are. And yet I still crossed the line afer years of knowing better.

It all began with a little magazine named XY. this is one of my favorite and most important magazines of the last few years. It is a nation gay magazine, aimed at young teens and a novelty in the world of publishing. It is smart and hip, flows its own politrcal agenda and allows the idea that not only teenagers sexuall beings but that they might even be gay. It is an independent on a nnational level, allowing its readership to be their most creatrive source and is some where that i--just to be honest-- have ben published a hand ful of times.

But being a small magazine of it's own will has always had problems. It has never been able to get the type of funding that most mainstream gay magazines get, part of peter ian's (the editor) beliefs is that as a youth magazine, while discussing sex and sexual problems that it should not have to fall into the gay magazine standard of cigarette and alcohol ads for it's primary revenue.

So it decided to appeal to the national busniess such as home furnishing, clothing, shoes and everyone turned them down. The reasoning, As Peter ian discuss often, wwas that most companies felt the magazines content was too much, too far and justn not good for them to be attached to. and while i am one of the first to notice that it can be too risky, i also think that it is smart, poltical and much thought provking then Out or Genre o even Advocate.

So why so pissed at Ambercrombie & Fitch? because of their reasoning for noyt using XY as magaizne to be involved in. They stated (publicly and in published letters to Peter Ian) that they felt the sexual underpining of his magazine where noptb appropiate for his underage audience. And this is where the funs starts...

If you have ever been in an Am & Fitch store you can see what a joke this is. this is a company that uses hot underage and even 20 somtething models in many pseudo sexual positions--they even use celebrate photographer Bruce Webbere and Herb ritts to sell there product. They have girls in nothing but a artistically placed tie and a blanket selling clothing, have created what is basically a masterbation magazine that comes outb 2 to 3 time s a year and yet they object to the sexually aspects of XY?

So then one has to wonder if it is a gay thing. But even then that is worse a denfesne for Am & Fitch. Because they have used the question sexual tension to sell many things to males. One of my favorite ads of their is the locker room ad of a few years back--boys, all young looking, gather in just underwear in the lockerroom with one rubbing the shoulders of another. This hung in most of the store locations and ionn many magaziine ads. This from the "too young, to gay" explantion for why they won't use XY.

And Xy was suffered form this thought processs. they area amgazine that while popular doesn't have much in money coming in. The most money that magazines make is from their ad base as well as subscriptions as well as word of mouth. And that is what XY lives on. SO i have alwayss stayed away frm the AM and Fitch look. Because i do have problems with what they say versus what they do nd it just seems to me that they make a lot of money off the backs of young gay teens while at that same time saying--"Well, we aren't gay and we didn't know that you were going to take this so serously." Kind of liek a frat guy after you blow him and he wants tom go back to his girlfriend.

But I don wonder thorugh the stores, as visual merchindeser i do like how they dress and style the clothes. Why i think the product is overprice and somewhat over play with logos and hip kitsch I enjoy how their stylist play with concept--preppy mixed with punk or street with suburban. It is something that i do steal idea from and enjoy wonderingb through.

So imagine to my surprise when i saw not 1 but 2 pairs of really cute shorts. I had been looking for some better ones, some newer ones and ther they were. But I always manage to, in the past, find someting wrong with their clothing. I mean, the logos are big and I usually feel like I am selling them as oppossed to selling myself. I like my fashion spread and layered and more than just one store or look.

But then I slipped on the sweatshorts and looked in the mirror--and they fit. Like so well that I almost passed out from shock. I mean, they were perfect and before I knew it I tried on the next pair. And theyb fit too. and before I knew it I was back in the malll and just wondering around with an oversized bag with the picture of that dude from the "O.C." on it.

And the worse part is the guilt i feel. i sold out for a pair of shorts that makes my legs loook hot. I lost my beliefs over a bright red one piece. It makes me scared--what if Bush puts out a line of novel t-shirts or Osama Bin Laden does designer sun glasses. Will those moral outrage fade as I make my way thorugh life looking hot and feeling good?

Of course i am witing this in my new shorts.