I don't think anything could make me any happier than this little picture
It combines my favorite actor with one of my favorite teen authors.... It is going to be printed and hung by desk....
Monday, March 25, 2013
The Best Thing Ever
The Best Thing Ever
I don't think anything could make me any happier than this little picture
It combines my favorite actor with one of my favorite teen authors.... It is going to be printed and hung by desk....
I don't think anything could make me any happier than this little picture
It combines my favorite actor with one of my favorite teen authors.... It is going to be printed and hung by desk....
Sunday, March 24, 2013
BOOK WHORE
Past Imperfect by Joan Collins
So I am on a Joan Collins kick. I love her-the look, the attuide and the lifesytle and so when I discovered her autobiography I had to get it.
And it was a great read when it comes to finding out her long and drama filled backstory. Starting from her days growing up in London with her small family, the early days at the Royal Dramatic Academy, to her early career in film I found this to be a page turner. It was interesting to learn about the last days of the studio system, her friendships with various Hollywood elite and her career comeback with the one and only "Dynasty".
She pulls no punches and almost nothing is sacred--except her relationship with sister Jackie--and she goes in great detail about her marriages, romances, and career highs and lows. I learned a lot of surprising facts from her early engagement with Warren Beaty, the infamous french hotel fire she was trapped in in real life to the near life derailing accident that befell one of her children.
What I took from her story is how to be a survivor, how the backend of your life can change into sucess and how personal courage and charisma can be the biggest assest anyone has. Well worth the read
So I am on a Joan Collins kick. I love her-the look, the attuide and the lifesytle and so when I discovered her autobiography I had to get it.
And it was a great read when it comes to finding out her long and drama filled backstory. Starting from her days growing up in London with her small family, the early days at the Royal Dramatic Academy, to her early career in film I found this to be a page turner. It was interesting to learn about the last days of the studio system, her friendships with various Hollywood elite and her career comeback with the one and only "Dynasty".
She pulls no punches and almost nothing is sacred--except her relationship with sister Jackie--and she goes in great detail about her marriages, romances, and career highs and lows. I learned a lot of surprising facts from her early engagement with Warren Beaty, the infamous french hotel fire she was trapped in in real life to the near life derailing accident that befell one of her children.
What I took from her story is how to be a survivor, how the backend of your life can change into sucess and how personal courage and charisma can be the biggest assest anyone has. Well worth the read
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Mystery Solved
Mystery Solved
So I finally figured out who sent me the "God Hates Bags" bag... I am glad I wasn't crazy and didn't buy it myself for myself in some weird stupor... It turns out Johnno's friend Andie randomly saw my post and bought it for me for Valentine's Day. She emailed me the other day to make sure it came, was surprised to find out that didn't have a note and now the case is closed.
Good to know.
I was wish I was better at doing things like that myself. Just randomly finding things for others and giving gifts in the moment. Maybe this is a sign that I should work on doing just that... Or more people could put hints out there and I could be the Secret Santa they have been hoping for.
I'd like
So I finally figured out who sent me the "God Hates Bags" bag... I am glad I wasn't crazy and didn't buy it myself for myself in some weird stupor... It turns out Johnno's friend Andie randomly saw my post and bought it for me for Valentine's Day. She emailed me the other day to make sure it came, was surprised to find out that didn't have a note and now the case is closed.
Good to know.
I was wish I was better at doing things like that myself. Just randomly finding things for others and giving gifts in the moment. Maybe this is a sign that I should work on doing just that... Or more people could put hints out there and I could be the Secret Santa they have been hoping for.
I'd like
BOOK WHORE
Love and Desire and Hate
Classic Smut
I had bought this book as a joke for my upcoming wedding--we're doing a library theme and using all types of books--so why not Joan Collins? I decided to read this top to bottom in a week just make sure it wasnt God awful and I loved it!!!
Every word
I love that it has the classic smut 80-90s feel--beautiful characters behaving badly, too much detail on the wealth that surrounds them and a dedication to campy dialouge. But what I really loved is that there is this period of time in the smut fiction era that ALWAYS had beautiful people haunted by the events of World War II--something real caught authors mind back then and has not let go. It's really kind of amazing.
It wont win any awards--but it did win my heart briefly.
Classic Smut
I had bought this book as a joke for my upcoming wedding--we're doing a library theme and using all types of books--so why not Joan Collins? I decided to read this top to bottom in a week just make sure it wasnt God awful and I loved it!!!
Every word
I love that it has the classic smut 80-90s feel--beautiful characters behaving badly, too much detail on the wealth that surrounds them and a dedication to campy dialouge. But what I really loved is that there is this period of time in the smut fiction era that ALWAYS had beautiful people haunted by the events of World War II--something real caught authors mind back then and has not let go. It's really kind of amazing.
It wont win any awards--but it did win my heart briefly.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Who Is Going To Let The Cat Out of The Bag? Literally?
Who Is Going To Let The Cat Out of The Bag? Literally?
So I have a Tumblr account where I like to post my favorite fashion things happening--looks from the runway shows I like, stylized picture of how to wear things and items that are on my on-going fashion hit list. It's about shoes and hats, ways to wear layers and pants cuffs and a general look into what I enjoy wearing. It's not going to change the world but I like it.
And a while back a posted a piece about this new tote bag I had seen out and about--it's cute and clever with more than enough irony and whimsy to make me feel like the happiest boy in the world.
It's clever
So I posted this on my tumblr which goes to my facebook and I just kind of forgot about the whole thing. I have been on a serious budget due to the wedding and though it was inexpensive I just didnt have the extra cash but wanted to keep it on my list since I could go back at some point and pick up pieces. Hope springs eternal.
Imagine my surprise a few weeks later when late night at the Dollhouse a mysterious package arrived. I thought it might have been from Johnno at first as I opened the unknown plain brown wrapper to have the bag fall out in my lap. He claimed he hadnt bought it for me--even though he was known to spring a gift or 3 on me. I was confused and tried to figure it out.
I knew I hadnt bought it but still spent part of the night going through my bank statements, debit card statements and even my credit card bills to see if I had somehow bought it without remembering. It's not like me but I was concerned. Johnno was delighted at how much the gift was freaking me out--it was like I had a stalker--one who couldnt spell my last name properly. (Per the mailing label)
I couldnt find a clue then so I then took the bag out with me the next day. I was heading out with the bridesmaids to try on dresses and figure if one of them bought the bag I could bust them out. I must have looked crazy as I made my big show of the bag throughout the day and eventually questioned each of the six girls--all of whom never claimed the gift as their own.
So now I am at a loss... I have no idea who sent it to me, where it came from or if I am sleep shopping. I feel like I have lost my mind in a fashion conspiracy.
So I have a Tumblr account where I like to post my favorite fashion things happening--looks from the runway shows I like, stylized picture of how to wear things and items that are on my on-going fashion hit list. It's about shoes and hats, ways to wear layers and pants cuffs and a general look into what I enjoy wearing. It's not going to change the world but I like it.
And a while back a posted a piece about this new tote bag I had seen out and about--it's cute and clever with more than enough irony and whimsy to make me feel like the happiest boy in the world.
So I posted this on my tumblr which goes to my facebook and I just kind of forgot about the whole thing. I have been on a serious budget due to the wedding and though it was inexpensive I just didnt have the extra cash but wanted to keep it on my list since I could go back at some point and pick up pieces. Hope springs eternal.
Imagine my surprise a few weeks later when late night at the Dollhouse a mysterious package arrived. I thought it might have been from Johnno at first as I opened the unknown plain brown wrapper to have the bag fall out in my lap. He claimed he hadnt bought it for me--even though he was known to spring a gift or 3 on me. I was confused and tried to figure it out.
I knew I hadnt bought it but still spent part of the night going through my bank statements, debit card statements and even my credit card bills to see if I had somehow bought it without remembering. It's not like me but I was concerned. Johnno was delighted at how much the gift was freaking me out--it was like I had a stalker--one who couldnt spell my last name properly. (Per the mailing label)
I couldnt find a clue then so I then took the bag out with me the next day. I was heading out with the bridesmaids to try on dresses and figure if one of them bought the bag I could bust them out. I must have looked crazy as I made my big show of the bag throughout the day and eventually questioned each of the six girls--all of whom never claimed the gift as their own.
So now I am at a loss... I have no idea who sent it to me, where it came from or if I am sleep shopping. I feel like I have lost my mind in a fashion conspiracy.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Book Whore
Anne of Ingleside by L.M. Montgomery
As I continue my way through the Anne of Green Gable series I find myself struggling more and more as the series grows. While I still enjoy the writing style of L.M. Montgomery I found myself growing more and more disinterested as Anne is phased out more and more in favor of her children. There are some great moments in the book with Diana and Anne, a fear of Anne losing Gilbert and the brief return of Christine Stuart which helps to shake the core of the family and what they all think and feel about each other.
It is just the drama with the children that wears thin due to obvious and sometimes trying use of small moral pieces to teach lessons without the same care in characterization which made Anne such a great heroine. The only story that stuck with me was the one concerning a graveyard and God--the rest simply kept me from the charcaters I cared about.
That said--I will continue with the series to see how it all turns out. Hopefully I will be less bothered by the children as the age and grow into their own charcacters. I also hope that there is more development with the actual female characters beyond Anne--L.M. Montgomery doesnt seem to enjoy writing for them nearly as much as her boys.
Boo to that.
As I continue my way through the Anne of Green Gable series I find myself struggling more and more as the series grows. While I still enjoy the writing style of L.M. Montgomery I found myself growing more and more disinterested as Anne is phased out more and more in favor of her children. There are some great moments in the book with Diana and Anne, a fear of Anne losing Gilbert and the brief return of Christine Stuart which helps to shake the core of the family and what they all think and feel about each other.
It is just the drama with the children that wears thin due to obvious and sometimes trying use of small moral pieces to teach lessons without the same care in characterization which made Anne such a great heroine. The only story that stuck with me was the one concerning a graveyard and God--the rest simply kept me from the charcaters I cared about.
That said--I will continue with the series to see how it all turns out. Hopefully I will be less bothered by the children as the age and grow into their own charcacters. I also hope that there is more development with the actual female characters beyond Anne--L.M. Montgomery doesnt seem to enjoy writing for them nearly as much as her boys.
Boo to that.
Saturday, March 09, 2013
Worst Week Ever
Worst Week Ever
It has taken me a full week to recover but I recently had the worst week ever. Like beyond anything I have gone through in a long time but I solidered on and was able to function beyond it. That said--I'm not looking to relive it in full detail so here are the highlights.
1) My brother is in jail. Now I have known for awhile now that my brother is a heroin addict. It is a gut-wretching situation to be in--part of what I have learned on my show is how hard a drug that is to kick, how overdose is as common as recovery and that they will do anything for the habit. So when my mother called me about him being in jail I knew the worse case scenario but had to hold my tongue.
Instead I used my job to research what he had been arrested for--breaking into houses, stolen credit cards and cash, the common thug crimes addicts committ. He is probably facing some serious jail time, my mother has been falling apart and blaming herself and I am angry at how he has behaved towards us but sad that he has gone this far. And being so removed from it all due to location hasnt helped--all I can do is be honest with my mom to help her make decisions but it is still a heavy burden.
2) Johnno lost his job. Now here's the thing--Johnno's company has always had a high turnover rate which I knew since Kelly was his boss and hired him. I warned him for months to be careful, put his face out there with the bigwigs in a hope it would keep him safe.
Didnt happen.
And when he was let go--my heart broke not only for Johnno but for both of us. So much of the last two and a half years has been about budgeting for the wedding. Our parents have been able to help much--though his parents recently did make a big donation--so we have been very careful about how and where we send our money. I havent bought a fashion piece in almost a year. Crazy town.
So when this went down I wasnt nearly upset about losing Johnno losing his job as I was about the reality of how it was changing the wedding. We were always cutting it cloed myse when it came to the budget and this just shifted everything--open bars, cake options, what room we would have for our wedding night. And so I did what I do best--I took it hard and deep, spent some time crying and almost called the wedding off. I'm not proud of it but I need to process and wallow until I could let go of my fears and anger.
It sucked.
3) Craig's medical incident. My boss Craig is one of the healthist and outdoorsy people I know so imagine to my surprise when the next day (Tues) Jenna and I found him half asleep in his office. We both thought it was because he had been away for a long weekend and was probably just tired.
We were wrong.
After what sounded like a loud snoring fit--Craig began screaming at the top of his lungs. I really wish I could find the words to describe how terrible and loud the sound was--but now I know what it really would sound like to murder someone. (Ironic since I work on a prison show). So I rushed into his office and found him eyes wide open, clutching his chair and just screaming. Jenna and I were the only two in that early--she didnt know what to do and I could tell he was having some type of night terror while asleep. His eyes didnt focus on either one of us in the office.
So while I had her call 911--which doesnt dial out of our office--surprise. I tried my best to wake Craig up without touching him since that could make things worse. He then snapped out of it but still didnt seem to know I was there. He instead tried--failingly-to walk out of his office towards me but i had to catch him to prevent the fall. Eventually I managed to get him to see me and talk to me haltingly but it was scary.
We finally got him into an ambulence after a struggle and while he turned out to be fine--it was stressful. I dont know how I kept such a clear head but I did and even managed to keep Jenna calm on top of that.
4) Facebook drama aka Rory's Creek. So within a few days my friends in the office were aware about the entire wedding/no wedding, Johnno losing his job and how much it was effecting me. My co-worker Jenna and I have been close for over a year-but she is 22 and this is her 2nd adult job in her life and sometimes that comes out in weird ways. So when she posted a supportive but snarky thing on my wall--I was worried that both Johnno and Kelly would think it was attacking them in light of them working together.
So I removed it.
This set off a scene out of a telenovella. Jenna was beyond hurt that I removed it, didnt want to let me explain and when I tried to make it up to her with a joking post about the Craig medical incident--she wasnt having it. So I did what I do best--I backed off to let her cool down so I could talk with her later about it. Turns out this was the worst move I could have made.
The next morning she didnt speak to me at all--awkward since we are in the same space and I am her boss and thought I was her friend. I stilll kept my distance to let her set the pace of whatever was going on--bigger mistake could not have been made. Afterward a whole day of awkwardness she finished out the situation by sending me one of the worst emails I have ever recieved--she wanted to cut the friendship, never talk to me again and only wanted us to email from then on. Unfortunately that wouldnt work in our office and I also wanted a chance to explain the situation.
When she finally let me have that conversation she just ripped me to streads in a way I never saw coming. What really hurt was not only was she overreacting she wasnt letting me explains--she just stood there expressionless as I tried to explain myself then when I finished--she just shook her head and walked away. This after I had fought for her job several times over, been there for her through some deep personal shit and I considered her my protege and a friend. And while I didnt cry--I really wanted to.
Summary) And so I spent that week on an emotional rollercoaster beyond anything I have felt in a while. And I have since shook off parts of it, made some strong decisions regarding what I can and can't do and put it behind me. It was rough but also reminded me I am strong and capable and not a bad person.
Sometimes something good can come out of something bad.
It has taken me a full week to recover but I recently had the worst week ever. Like beyond anything I have gone through in a long time but I solidered on and was able to function beyond it. That said--I'm not looking to relive it in full detail so here are the highlights.
1) My brother is in jail. Now I have known for awhile now that my brother is a heroin addict. It is a gut-wretching situation to be in--part of what I have learned on my show is how hard a drug that is to kick, how overdose is as common as recovery and that they will do anything for the habit. So when my mother called me about him being in jail I knew the worse case scenario but had to hold my tongue.
Instead I used my job to research what he had been arrested for--breaking into houses, stolen credit cards and cash, the common thug crimes addicts committ. He is probably facing some serious jail time, my mother has been falling apart and blaming herself and I am angry at how he has behaved towards us but sad that he has gone this far. And being so removed from it all due to location hasnt helped--all I can do is be honest with my mom to help her make decisions but it is still a heavy burden.
2) Johnno lost his job. Now here's the thing--Johnno's company has always had a high turnover rate which I knew since Kelly was his boss and hired him. I warned him for months to be careful, put his face out there with the bigwigs in a hope it would keep him safe.
Didnt happen.
And when he was let go--my heart broke not only for Johnno but for both of us. So much of the last two and a half years has been about budgeting for the wedding. Our parents have been able to help much--though his parents recently did make a big donation--so we have been very careful about how and where we send our money. I havent bought a fashion piece in almost a year. Crazy town.
So when this went down I wasnt nearly upset about losing Johnno losing his job as I was about the reality of how it was changing the wedding. We were always cutting it cloed myse when it came to the budget and this just shifted everything--open bars, cake options, what room we would have for our wedding night. And so I did what I do best--I took it hard and deep, spent some time crying and almost called the wedding off. I'm not proud of it but I need to process and wallow until I could let go of my fears and anger.
It sucked.
3) Craig's medical incident. My boss Craig is one of the healthist and outdoorsy people I know so imagine to my surprise when the next day (Tues) Jenna and I found him half asleep in his office. We both thought it was because he had been away for a long weekend and was probably just tired.
We were wrong.
After what sounded like a loud snoring fit--Craig began screaming at the top of his lungs. I really wish I could find the words to describe how terrible and loud the sound was--but now I know what it really would sound like to murder someone. (Ironic since I work on a prison show). So I rushed into his office and found him eyes wide open, clutching his chair and just screaming. Jenna and I were the only two in that early--she didnt know what to do and I could tell he was having some type of night terror while asleep. His eyes didnt focus on either one of us in the office.
So while I had her call 911--which doesnt dial out of our office--surprise. I tried my best to wake Craig up without touching him since that could make things worse. He then snapped out of it but still didnt seem to know I was there. He instead tried--failingly-to walk out of his office towards me but i had to catch him to prevent the fall. Eventually I managed to get him to see me and talk to me haltingly but it was scary.
We finally got him into an ambulence after a struggle and while he turned out to be fine--it was stressful. I dont know how I kept such a clear head but I did and even managed to keep Jenna calm on top of that.
4) Facebook drama aka Rory's Creek. So within a few days my friends in the office were aware about the entire wedding/no wedding, Johnno losing his job and how much it was effecting me. My co-worker Jenna and I have been close for over a year-but she is 22 and this is her 2nd adult job in her life and sometimes that comes out in weird ways. So when she posted a supportive but snarky thing on my wall--I was worried that both Johnno and Kelly would think it was attacking them in light of them working together.
So I removed it.
This set off a scene out of a telenovella. Jenna was beyond hurt that I removed it, didnt want to let me explain and when I tried to make it up to her with a joking post about the Craig medical incident--she wasnt having it. So I did what I do best--I backed off to let her cool down so I could talk with her later about it. Turns out this was the worst move I could have made.
The next morning she didnt speak to me at all--awkward since we are in the same space and I am her boss and thought I was her friend. I stilll kept my distance to let her set the pace of whatever was going on--bigger mistake could not have been made. Afterward a whole day of awkwardness she finished out the situation by sending me one of the worst emails I have ever recieved--she wanted to cut the friendship, never talk to me again and only wanted us to email from then on. Unfortunately that wouldnt work in our office and I also wanted a chance to explain the situation.
When she finally let me have that conversation she just ripped me to streads in a way I never saw coming. What really hurt was not only was she overreacting she wasnt letting me explains--she just stood there expressionless as I tried to explain myself then when I finished--she just shook her head and walked away. This after I had fought for her job several times over, been there for her through some deep personal shit and I considered her my protege and a friend. And while I didnt cry--I really wanted to.
Summary) And so I spent that week on an emotional rollercoaster beyond anything I have felt in a while. And I have since shook off parts of it, made some strong decisions regarding what I can and can't do and put it behind me. It was rough but also reminded me I am strong and capable and not a bad person.
Sometimes something good can come out of something bad.
Thursday, March 07, 2013
Dressamania
Dressamania
So I have 6 bridesmaids for the big gay wedding--I tried to pick from the various eras of my life between college friends, Lodie s Angeles friends, creative group friends, friends from random circumstance and the unexpected people who grew into friendship. I ended up going with Edie, Kelly, Chloe, Valeska, Kirby and Ali--a pretty good mix of the various aspects of my life and thankfully they all said.
That said....
It did NOT occure to me that picking so many people would make certain elements of the wedding a bit more complicated. It means a bigger rehearsal dinner than my poor mother was expecting, the idea of the bridesmaids gifts more difficult because what is universal for all of them, but the hardest part has been the dress. The never-to-be-worn-again, could-be-ugly-and-dated-in-two-years, I-dont-wear-dresses-since-Im-a-dude dress. And with six girls with six different colorings, body types, comfortzones and tastes... I opened up a Pandora's box.
Which isnt to say they have been troopers because they have been
So we finally found a weekend when everyone could be in Los Angeles to try and make something happen; a day of shopping was planned to make the most of the situation and so we were going to be off with coffee and courage. At least for me.
And they tried on everything--I learned about ruching and sweetheart necklines, chiffon and sequins, the difference between long and short. We did the wrong colors, the wrong material, things from the 80s and the 50s, cocktail to prom. And while I wasnt able to make a decision--I'm still torn on how to describe what I will be wearing--I learned a lot about clothes but also my girls. How much they must love me to go through with whole process.
But it also gave me some amazing memories--Edie in a high ruffled collar looking like she escaped from a "Dynasty" ball, Kelly covered in a gold and white number better suited for a quinceanera, Kirby bravely shouldering on through ill fitted clevage, Ali demonstrating the various types of necklines, Chloe in the short 70s numbers and the classic moment of Valeska discovering the accidental "PANTSUIT".
So even though it is probably the hardest part of the process outside of the fundraising--it is also probably my favorite part of the wedding process so far. I'm just glad I didnt add more people to the line up--I dont think the bridal dress industry could have handled it!
So I have 6 bridesmaids for the big gay wedding--I tried to pick from the various eras of my life between college friends, Lodie s Angeles friends, creative group friends, friends from random circumstance and the unexpected people who grew into friendship. I ended up going with Edie, Kelly, Chloe, Valeska, Kirby and Ali--a pretty good mix of the various aspects of my life and thankfully they all said.
That said....
It did NOT occure to me that picking so many people would make certain elements of the wedding a bit more complicated. It means a bigger rehearsal dinner than my poor mother was expecting, the idea of the bridesmaids gifts more difficult because what is universal for all of them, but the hardest part has been the dress. The never-to-be-worn-again, could-be-ugly-and-dated-in-two-years, I-dont-wear-dresses-since-Im-a-dude dress. And with six girls with six different colorings, body types, comfortzones and tastes... I opened up a Pandora's box.
Which isnt to say they have been troopers because they have been
So we finally found a weekend when everyone could be in Los Angeles to try and make something happen; a day of shopping was planned to make the most of the situation and so we were going to be off with coffee and courage. At least for me.
And they tried on everything--I learned about ruching and sweetheart necklines, chiffon and sequins, the difference between long and short. We did the wrong colors, the wrong material, things from the 80s and the 50s, cocktail to prom. And while I wasnt able to make a decision--I'm still torn on how to describe what I will be wearing--I learned a lot about clothes but also my girls. How much they must love me to go through with whole process.
But it also gave me some amazing memories--Edie in a high ruffled collar looking like she escaped from a "Dynasty" ball, Kelly covered in a gold and white number better suited for a quinceanera, Kirby bravely shouldering on through ill fitted clevage, Ali demonstrating the various types of necklines, Chloe in the short 70s numbers and the classic moment of Valeska discovering the accidental "PANTSUIT".
So even though it is probably the hardest part of the process outside of the fundraising--it is also probably my favorite part of the wedding process so far. I'm just glad I didnt add more people to the line up--I dont think the bridal dress industry could have handled it!
Tuesday, March 05, 2013
Let Them Eat Cake--Unless It Is Crappy Cake
Let Them Eat Cake--Unless It Is Crappy Cake
So I hate cake. Like I really dont like anything sweet except things like Pop Tarts or short bread cookies but most of the time I cannot do sugar for longer than a bite. It's a problem when you are planning a wedding because your supposed to have cake--for the guests, for the ceremony--its part of the package.
Still-- its a lot of money to spend when you're not really going to enjoy it. So I started to look for other ideas that I could live with but would still allow for those special moments. I fell in with this
It's a King cake--a traditional Madri Gras food and something I thought would be humorous for the day given the name and it being a gay wedding. Johnno didnt really care about this detail of the wedding too much so I was off and running. But since it is a season thing I was worried as to how we would find one--would we have to order one from New Orleans or could we find a local bakery in Seattle to make this happen? Thankfully our wedding planner was on the case.
She was able to find a local bakery to buy a sample from and we had it shipped down to us after the holiday. Now I usually only have a small slice once a year so the taste is familar but not super common so I wasnt sure if I would remember what I liked about it. And even though the cake is covered with icing it was also a bread with praline in the center so it wasnt full sugar top to bottom so it could work
And then the sample cake arrived.
I'm going to be nice and not post a picture of what we recieved--I'm sure it had been properly decorated and just had elements of it shift during the mailing. Johnno and I were both eager as we opened the box but what we recieved didnt look anything like a normal King cake. Imagine a loaf of coffee cake with some type of clear glittery glaze over it--nothing like even part of the above picture.
And the taste was just as disappointing.
Now I dont have King cake all the time but even I can tell when something was wrong with it. Dry, boring with way too much sweetness rolled on top. I almost cried as we ate it because of how bad it was--and Johnno did his best to solider on. But we both knew that it wasnt what we needed or wanted for our special day. And to try and send off for a sample of a proper cake sent from New Orleans was too expensive to consider.
So now we're at a loss.
We have to figure out how to move on beyond cake and to something new that could work just as well. Something that we both would like, that the guests would enjoy and be easy to make special for our day. I'm really getting open to suggestions.
So I hate cake. Like I really dont like anything sweet except things like Pop Tarts or short bread cookies but most of the time I cannot do sugar for longer than a bite. It's a problem when you are planning a wedding because your supposed to have cake--for the guests, for the ceremony--its part of the package.
Still-- its a lot of money to spend when you're not really going to enjoy it. So I started to look for other ideas that I could live with but would still allow for those special moments. I fell in with this
She was able to find a local bakery to buy a sample from and we had it shipped down to us after the holiday. Now I usually only have a small slice once a year so the taste is familar but not super common so I wasnt sure if I would remember what I liked about it. And even though the cake is covered with icing it was also a bread with praline in the center so it wasnt full sugar top to bottom so it could work
And then the sample cake arrived.
I'm going to be nice and not post a picture of what we recieved--I'm sure it had been properly decorated and just had elements of it shift during the mailing. Johnno and I were both eager as we opened the box but what we recieved didnt look anything like a normal King cake. Imagine a loaf of coffee cake with some type of clear glittery glaze over it--nothing like even part of the above picture.
And the taste was just as disappointing.
Now I dont have King cake all the time but even I can tell when something was wrong with it. Dry, boring with way too much sweetness rolled on top. I almost cried as we ate it because of how bad it was--and Johnno did his best to solider on. But we both knew that it wasnt what we needed or wanted for our special day. And to try and send off for a sample of a proper cake sent from New Orleans was too expensive to consider.
So now we're at a loss.
We have to figure out how to move on beyond cake and to something new that could work just as well. Something that we both would like, that the guests would enjoy and be easy to make special for our day. I'm really getting open to suggestions.
Sunday, March 03, 2013
BOOK WHORE
Cleopatra-A Life by Stacy Schiff
Confession: I'm a Cleopatra nerd. So this might not be the most unbaised review ever. But I simply adored this book. Stacy Schiff does a great job of taking the base facts that could be gathered about the city of Alexandria, the ruling families of Egypt, Roman and various other locales and put together something that is gripping with being overly soap opera like. She uses equal amounts skills, research and various historical accounts to put the life, goals and repurcussions of Cleopatra--and by default Mark Anthony and Julius Caesar--into a complex context with becoming dry or boring.
If there is one account of this amazing, overly romantized, wildly political and legendary life to read then this is the one. It takes someone who is beyond the pale and gives you motivation, inspiration and a sense of depth beyond the various detractors and lovers. I cannot recommend any book higher in recent history
Confession: I'm a Cleopatra nerd. So this might not be the most unbaised review ever. But I simply adored this book. Stacy Schiff does a great job of taking the base facts that could be gathered about the city of Alexandria, the ruling families of Egypt, Roman and various other locales and put together something that is gripping with being overly soap opera like. She uses equal amounts skills, research and various historical accounts to put the life, goals and repurcussions of Cleopatra--and by default Mark Anthony and Julius Caesar--into a complex context with becoming dry or boring.
If there is one account of this amazing, overly romantized, wildly political and legendary life to read then this is the one. It takes someone who is beyond the pale and gives you motivation, inspiration and a sense of depth beyond the various detractors and lovers. I cannot recommend any book higher in recent history
Monday, February 25, 2013
This Should Feel Familiar
I'm watching Johnno through window from the park behind our building. Today has been one of the worst in my life in a long time--but this should feel familiar....
There's a reason I'm a fatalist.
Every time I think I have something good in my life it falls apart. I should be used to disappointment and yet here I am again--acting like it is some novel feeling
No we didn't break up.
Johnno lost his job today. I found out that my brother is in jail & will probably serve time. I'm pretty sure the wedding is off since there is no way to afford it given the current situation.
And I don't think we're strong enough to do this again.... So unless some drastic happens then this it it. I'm just tired of mourning. I know I'll be fine sooner than later--I'm a survivor but I'm just tired
And nothing is decided yet but I just cannot see pulling this off... The upside is I'm too depressed to eat so there's that at least
There's a reason I'm a fatalist.
Every time I think I have something good in my life it falls apart. I should be used to disappointment and yet here I am again--acting like it is some novel feeling
No we didn't break up.
Johnno lost his job today. I found out that my brother is in jail & will probably serve time. I'm pretty sure the wedding is off since there is no way to afford it given the current situation.
And I don't think we're strong enough to do this again.... So unless some drastic happens then this it it. I'm just tired of mourning. I know I'll be fine sooner than later--I'm a survivor but I'm just tired
And nothing is decided yet but I just cannot see pulling this off... The upside is I'm too depressed to eat so there's that at least
Another Bitch
Sunday, February 24, 2013
BOOK WHORE
Another Kind of Love by Paula Christian
I loved this book... I'll be honest--I bought this novel based off the cover art and scandalous feel--I didnt know anything about the author or even the lesbian pulp genre. But I totally loved the two novels in this collection because they were solidly written, with interesting characters and though I could take or leave the sadness of the tone--I was willing to accept that since it was two books written in 1961.
It wasnt going to be pretty or sympathetic.
But it is a valuable and interesting window into a world some people would never know if it wasnt for these stories, the details of the subculture and the historical aspect of the experience. I also liked that each book looked at a different place--one is in New York and the other is in Los Angles--and found the little details of the time and how they effected each locale.
I would suggest anyone who likes well written trashy novels steeped in context. Well worth the effort
I loved this book... I'll be honest--I bought this novel based off the cover art and scandalous feel--I didnt know anything about the author or even the lesbian pulp genre. But I totally loved the two novels in this collection because they were solidly written, with interesting characters and though I could take or leave the sadness of the tone--I was willing to accept that since it was two books written in 1961.
It wasnt going to be pretty or sympathetic.
But it is a valuable and interesting window into a world some people would never know if it wasnt for these stories, the details of the subculture and the historical aspect of the experience. I also liked that each book looked at a different place--one is in New York and the other is in Los Angles--and found the little details of the time and how they effected each locale.
I would suggest anyone who likes well written trashy novels steeped in context. Well worth the effort
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Working Girl
Working Girl
So for the last few months my job has been killing me--mostly by being so busy and crazy that sometimes it has been hard to breath. It's hard to complain about that when you work in freelance because most of my co-workers from my vast career in reality TV would kill for something as open ended as this job has turned out to be. And I found myself growing more and more attached to my work family--we have been a team now off and on for over two years that I spend more time with them then most other people in my life.
I really like them.
That said--with the work scehdule continuing to grow crazy and never catching up I was debating trying to leave. I know I couldnt because of the wedding and Johnno and I paying for it mostly ourselves but I had reached a point where I just felt so far behind and not even getting much of a chance to improve my career that I was at a loss. And because they are family--the office was starting to feel that.
I wasnt being a bitch.
I just was tired and drained, working on my weekends and in a constant state of shuffling. I would have meetings and be honest about what was going on with the work load--I have a nickname at the office for being the Grim Reaper--but I think they understood what I was trying to say. And eventually we tried various gameplans to make the show work; adding new people to mix--some who worked and some who didnt--trying different work flows but it was getting to the point that it was hard to feel any forward movement.
So instead they gave me not one--but two!--raises and two new job titles. Part of me knows they did this to try and make it harder for me to leave; they did the same for the girl who works under me but that's okay. I cant help but see what they are doing--by paying us more and give us more of a career move they are then making it harder to leave. And they shifted the other jobs around as well to help and keep everyone in the process and create a better flow which seems to be working.
And it makes me happy.
I cant help but feel the love right now--even if I know there are strings attached. It makes me feel like I bet on the right horse and am where I am supposed to be for the moment. They are trying to make us all happy and create and foster a strong team which seems to be working.
And more money--have to love more money.
So for the last few months my job has been killing me--mostly by being so busy and crazy that sometimes it has been hard to breath. It's hard to complain about that when you work in freelance because most of my co-workers from my vast career in reality TV would kill for something as open ended as this job has turned out to be. And I found myself growing more and more attached to my work family--we have been a team now off and on for over two years that I spend more time with them then most other people in my life.
I really like them.
That said--with the work scehdule continuing to grow crazy and never catching up I was debating trying to leave. I know I couldnt because of the wedding and Johnno and I paying for it mostly ourselves but I had reached a point where I just felt so far behind and not even getting much of a chance to improve my career that I was at a loss. And because they are family--the office was starting to feel that.
I wasnt being a bitch.
I just was tired and drained, working on my weekends and in a constant state of shuffling. I would have meetings and be honest about what was going on with the work load--I have a nickname at the office for being the Grim Reaper--but I think they understood what I was trying to say. And eventually we tried various gameplans to make the show work; adding new people to mix--some who worked and some who didnt--trying different work flows but it was getting to the point that it was hard to feel any forward movement.
So instead they gave me not one--but two!--raises and two new job titles. Part of me knows they did this to try and make it harder for me to leave; they did the same for the girl who works under me but that's okay. I cant help but see what they are doing--by paying us more and give us more of a career move they are then making it harder to leave. And they shifted the other jobs around as well to help and keep everyone in the process and create a better flow which seems to be working.
And it makes me happy.
I cant help but feel the love right now--even if I know there are strings attached. It makes me feel like I bet on the right horse and am where I am supposed to be for the moment. They are trying to make us all happy and create and foster a strong team which seems to be working.
And more money--have to love more money.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
WEDDING CAKE
Monday, February 18, 2013
Build this now
Wedding Training
Sunday, February 17, 2013
BOOK WHORE
Insignificant Others by Stephen McCauley
I really wanted to like this book... The writing is strong and crisp though a bit smug at points but I just couldnt get over the plot itself. I didnt feel much sympathy for Richard and his situation beause he really only gets concerned once his spouse has more feelings for his lover than Richard--but Richard is more than guilty of the exact same thing in an even worse way. He doesnt seem to care at all for Conrad--he only wants to keep Conrad out of jealousy.
It's annoying and makes him unrootable.
The one thing I did love was the character of Doreen. She is not a fag hag by any stretch and her dynamic with Ricahrd as well as her overall development is fascinating. Cold, aloof, ambitious yet with more depth than you can expect--she is really the star of this book. I just wish it had given me something or someone to root for but Richard is so spoiled and cold that I couldnt care less.
I really wanted to like this book... The writing is strong and crisp though a bit smug at points but I just couldnt get over the plot itself. I didnt feel much sympathy for Richard and his situation beause he really only gets concerned once his spouse has more feelings for his lover than Richard--but Richard is more than guilty of the exact same thing in an even worse way. He doesnt seem to care at all for Conrad--he only wants to keep Conrad out of jealousy.
It's annoying and makes him unrootable.
The one thing I did love was the character of Doreen. She is not a fag hag by any stretch and her dynamic with Ricahrd as well as her overall development is fascinating. Cold, aloof, ambitious yet with more depth than you can expect--she is really the star of this book. I just wish it had given me something or someone to root for but Richard is so spoiled and cold that I couldnt care less.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Syntax Stress
Syntax Stress
Its my own damn fault. Part of the stress of planning my wedding has come from my own inability to say the right things the right way; using the wrong words or not saying anything at all. I have left things slide or stagnate through my own inaction but fortunately I have been called out on it.
It needed to happen.
See, Johnno and I have both been stressing out about our lack of an engagement party. We were offered one by Kelly back when we first were engaged 2 years ago but we held off. We were paranoid about paying for the wedding ourselves and unsure who we could invite. Weddings are very political things to a degree--how many people you can have, who you choose to invite, when you choose to invite them--and we were scared. We didn't want to step on the toes of friends who were engaged sooner and getting married earlier, we didn't want to risk inviting people to an engagement party if we weren't sure we could have them at the wedding so we kept pushing off any party.
Now in our minds the engagement party would be a party similar to what my friends did for Kelly years ago--simple, elegant night out with friends to eat, drink and be merry as we all got excited about her upcoming nuptials. It wasn't stuffy or overly done but just candles and pretty views and cocktails with her nearest and dearest. We want to have that same type of affair for ourselves to get more excited about the wedding.
See--the thing is the grunt work of wedding planning is stressful. It's pick colors down to the right shade, budgeting for every possible problems, telling family members to stop trying to invite people and figuring out how to work our friends into the ceremony. It's about squirming over contracts and tasting every dish under the sun, handpicking play lists for the reception and finding a photographer who wont make you feel fat. And while having a planner has helped with this in a major way it is still something that can make the best couple bicker.
Which is why the idea of the engagement party took on such a focus for us--something to be fun and dressed up and celebrate with people. A night that we could laugh and shrug off concerns about place settings and marriage vows to enjoy the excitement of the special day. And every time we dropped hints, trying to ask about said party we were greeted with either silence or a quick agreement it was happening. It was starting to annoy us that we didn't feel we knew what was going on.
Things came to a head when I sent out an email asking about when the engagement party would be since we were planning the last few trips up to Seattle to settle things for the wedding. The question was avoided and my feelings were hurt because I was led to believe that nothing was happening and I didn't want to push and feel like forced anyone into anything and instead had built up such an anger about the issue I could barely see straight.
Turns out I was using the wrong word.
When I finally sat down and talked things over with my maid of honor I realized that the girls all felt the time for an engagement party had passed and that I had said no when they offered so they were annoyed that I felt like they blew me off. They were more concerned about throwing a shower which I never even though about--I just wanted Johnno and I to have any kind of party. Everyone was hearing the specific words used when I was using the wrong words all along.
So when Edie and I sat down and had a long discussion about wedding things--the one thing that came clearer and clearer was I wasn't expressing myself the right way. I was using the wrong words and not saying any words at the wrong time and if I actually sat down and thought things through and communicated them properly it would be okay.
I had to use my words--the right words so people could meet me half way.
Knowing how much of what was going on was a misunderstand freed me of so much. To know that they were waiting on me to say what I need and what I wanted so they could try and make things happen... It helped a huge deal to know this. That they want to celebrate, to help and to be there and I wasn't being pushy or unfair took away so much of my stress that it was freeing. It really does matter that I say what I feel and what I want so I can make things happen for me, for the girls and for Johnno... It was a good lesson
PS I am sure I am not using syntax in the right way but it sounded good. I have much more to learn I guess.
Its my own damn fault. Part of the stress of planning my wedding has come from my own inability to say the right things the right way; using the wrong words or not saying anything at all. I have left things slide or stagnate through my own inaction but fortunately I have been called out on it.
It needed to happen.
See, Johnno and I have both been stressing out about our lack of an engagement party. We were offered one by Kelly back when we first were engaged 2 years ago but we held off. We were paranoid about paying for the wedding ourselves and unsure who we could invite. Weddings are very political things to a degree--how many people you can have, who you choose to invite, when you choose to invite them--and we were scared. We didn't want to step on the toes of friends who were engaged sooner and getting married earlier, we didn't want to risk inviting people to an engagement party if we weren't sure we could have them at the wedding so we kept pushing off any party.
Now in our minds the engagement party would be a party similar to what my friends did for Kelly years ago--simple, elegant night out with friends to eat, drink and be merry as we all got excited about her upcoming nuptials. It wasn't stuffy or overly done but just candles and pretty views and cocktails with her nearest and dearest. We want to have that same type of affair for ourselves to get more excited about the wedding.
See--the thing is the grunt work of wedding planning is stressful. It's pick colors down to the right shade, budgeting for every possible problems, telling family members to stop trying to invite people and figuring out how to work our friends into the ceremony. It's about squirming over contracts and tasting every dish under the sun, handpicking play lists for the reception and finding a photographer who wont make you feel fat. And while having a planner has helped with this in a major way it is still something that can make the best couple bicker.
Which is why the idea of the engagement party took on such a focus for us--something to be fun and dressed up and celebrate with people. A night that we could laugh and shrug off concerns about place settings and marriage vows to enjoy the excitement of the special day. And every time we dropped hints, trying to ask about said party we were greeted with either silence or a quick agreement it was happening. It was starting to annoy us that we didn't feel we knew what was going on.
Things came to a head when I sent out an email asking about when the engagement party would be since we were planning the last few trips up to Seattle to settle things for the wedding. The question was avoided and my feelings were hurt because I was led to believe that nothing was happening and I didn't want to push and feel like forced anyone into anything and instead had built up such an anger about the issue I could barely see straight.
Turns out I was using the wrong word.
When I finally sat down and talked things over with my maid of honor I realized that the girls all felt the time for an engagement party had passed and that I had said no when they offered so they were annoyed that I felt like they blew me off. They were more concerned about throwing a shower which I never even though about--I just wanted Johnno and I to have any kind of party. Everyone was hearing the specific words used when I was using the wrong words all along.
So when Edie and I sat down and had a long discussion about wedding things--the one thing that came clearer and clearer was I wasn't expressing myself the right way. I was using the wrong words and not saying any words at the wrong time and if I actually sat down and thought things through and communicated them properly it would be okay.
I had to use my words--the right words so people could meet me half way.
Knowing how much of what was going on was a misunderstand freed me of so much. To know that they were waiting on me to say what I need and what I wanted so they could try and make things happen... It helped a huge deal to know this. That they want to celebrate, to help and to be there and I wasn't being pushy or unfair took away so much of my stress that it was freeing. It really does matter that I say what I feel and what I want so I can make things happen for me, for the girls and for Johnno... It was a good lesson
PS I am sure I am not using syntax in the right way but it sounded good. I have much more to learn I guess.
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