Tuesday, May 04, 2004

No Sleep Till...?

It’s odd—the last couple of nights I have barely slept. It’s not the heat, at least it has never bothered me that way before. I guess it could be some type of stress but I just finally got the job that I want, I have no real issues with any friends at the moment and have been keeping a low profile of sorts. I suspect that this stress is all because of my San Fran conversations with both Chloe and Charity. It’s hard to figure out what to do and I just feel like I can’t confide in many people about it—mostly because I think that they will try and convince me that it is not a real option. I wonder about that to, whether I’m just dodging a bullet by considering it. But I can’t over look how in love I am with that place, the way it seems to light me up and make me feel so— I don’t know… Like I came home… But this isn’t even a real choice at the moment. I wouldn’t be able to do anything for a year so—why would this be a factor now? I don’t know. Maybe it is the heat… There is a first time for everything

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