Thursday, July 14, 2011

Swimming With Sharks AKA Its Only TV

I got screamed at by my boss today.

When I say screamed I don't mean yelled at. I don't mean a snotty exchange. I mean full on loud voice, probably red-faced, loud and scary.

It sucked.

Actually it more than sucked. If it hadn't happened over the phone and in person I probably would have quit my job and left the office ASAP. I don't like being spoken to that way--I don't think anyone does. And the few times in my life where that has happened I either cut the person completely out of my life or don't allow them into in the first place.

And what makes the situtation worse is that I wasn't responsible for what happened in the first place. I couldn't have prevented the issue and I did actually try and address the issue weeks back with my co-workers. And when I found out later that one of them was present when this happened and said nothing--it was even worse.

It made me second guess myself and the job. he accused me of being bad at it, not paying attention and none of that is true. Frankly--if I hadn't just extended the job I would have left if offered the extension now. I was disturbed enough to almost cry which I never do--just goes to show how bad this all was. But i'm not the type of person to walk away and go back on my word.

And the worst part is that I like my boss. He has been amazing at points--an executive who gives chances, is very flexible when it comes to the job and he leads a great team of people.

Now I am at a loss of what to do. I avoided him all day today, the few moments we ran into each other we didn't speak and tomorrow we have a major meeting of the whole staff. I don't play to do anything except just sit there and hope to be ignored. And that is not me.

But I cannot shake how horrible he made me feel today. I just can't.

It sucked.


jen said...

*hugs* i know this was from over a week back but i know this feeling well and it's awful.

this has been my past 2 weeks during restaurant installation. i've cried 3 days because of the stress. my restaurant opens today and i'm so glad it's over but it sucks to be the brunt of someone's anger and then have to deal with the awkward aftermath for a couple of days or so later.

Rory said...

Just so awful... I know you and I have talked about this before and we work on rolling it off our backs but

Fuck man--is anything worth that?