Friday, July 15, 2011

Indiana Rory and the Tunnel of Love

I almost escpaed. I had my hand on the door handle when it went off the rails.

Now beofre I begin this post let me be clear on the following--I do like Johnno's parents. It's just that they are so hit or miss when it comes to me and their son. Sometimes they are friendly and the conversation flows easily but other times there is a disconnect. Like faulty wiring.

Last weekend they came to town for their annual visit. His dad has old college friends Sam and Abby who live down the way and so they make a yearly trip to catch up. I knew that this was upcoming and without BB as an excuse to miss out--i was down for at least one dinner.

But neither of us had seen his parents post the engagement and while they were supposedly supportive over the phone--I would be foolish to not expect something else in the flesh. And in the week before the visit we had finally found and were wearing engagement rings. I had tracked something fun from Esty for us to pick from and they arrived shortly before the trip.

The dinner itself was fine. His mother was perky and excited to see me as well as her son. She made a point of having u tell Sam and Abby about the engagement--I was worried that they would be very over the top in their response since they are both pro-gay marriage but they held themselves back.

We made it through the meal with little issue. Conversation jumped from sports to weather to career to family isssues. It was awkward at points but i figured that was just me--my family is very good at small talk about other things like films and TV where his is not. But we made it through the night and everyone passed with flying colors.

It wasn't until we headed for the door that anything went amiss. Johnno was saying good bye and I had already thanked both his father for his gift (a book about Jane Austen) and the hosts for the meal. My hand was on the door knob and about to exit when I heard the following phrase.

"What is that on your hand?"

Now I debate just pushing my way out of the house. I knew that Johnno's father had finally noticed the engagement ring but I also knew that it would be awkward. I listened as Johnno--in a cheerful voice as is his way--explained the ring and how he got it. Both his parents fell silent for a beat then his father encouraged us to leave. Not in a rude way but in a "you have to work the next day so go home now".

I could tell he was uncomfortable at the idea of his son wearing a ring with a stone in it. That all the ring meant was more proof of his gay son and his possible marriage to another man. I tried not to hold it against--I debated showing off my engagement ring as well but realized I don't want that fight.

Not an actual fight.

I am tired though of worrying about how his parents will handle us. They have had plenty of time to adjust to their gay son. It doesn't help matters that their daughter has had more than a couple of marriages and they constantly trip over themselves to pay for the event. I just wish they were excited and eager for us.

But they try and he tries and I try. Maybe one day it will be less about that.

At least I didn't push the door open and walk out. It's all about small steps really.

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