Truth Is

I’ve been hiding. I know it, most people around me know it and somehow I have to get around it. Part of it is my upset at being unemployed, having no money coming in, and freaking out stuff going on career-wise right now. That I found out that I can’t collect unemployment so I need a job ASAP and that I don’t know what I can do to make a job show up. (And this stirs up resentment about certain things from this past summer.)

On top of all of this I have a huge case of writer’s block and it is not helping matters to have certain people in my life asking all about it and making feel like I am even more a failure than with the job stuff. It’s scary that every time I have put pen to paper or flipped on my computer that nothing is coming out and it is scaring the shite out of me.

So instead I have spent my time avoiding things; reading Jane Austen books, watching Veronica Mars and making mix cds for no real reason. And worrying about everyone else around me because it is easier than worrying about myself-I think.

But it isn’t solving anything at all. Really.