Thursday, April 22, 2010

A Conversation Between Soulmates

I know exactly what you mean about wanting and having creating confusing expectations. I am on the fence about moving in with the boy-it's hard to have him pack up on Sunday nights to go back to his place when I do want him to stay but then I worry I am not built to live with anyone in a romantic sense

It doesn't help that I love my apartment and my roomies. They are both so low maintenance as roommates and we have a lot of great adventures because of the proximity but I am realizing that is not enough.... I want the boy and the apartment but am learning i can't have both--I’m at a loss.

And then there is the time I spend in my head with decisions... And I hate making decisions--I am then constantly wondering how the other role would have played out... Then I get myself all caught up in how it could have been-for better or worse--which results in me just being so far from what is in front of me that coming back to reality feels so farcical since I have committed so much fantasy to the road less traveled.

I read way too many 'Choose your Own Adventures'

So I have to learn to put that second self in the corner. I have to learn to use that energy and those musings in another forum--hopefully in my writing and not in my actual head space.

It sucks having a mansion for imagination because there is always way too much of my head living there.

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