Thursday, September 02, 2010

There's No Place Like Home

It has been over a month and a half since I last wrote here... It wasn't on purpose and I completely missed it but I had to step away from the words because I had so many other words I was responsible for. The promotion at BB both was a blessing and a curse--I was able to finally adjust and prove my abilities to the higher ups but it took a lot more than I imagined it would. For the first time--ever really--I second guessed what I was doing with my career. Did I really want this? Is it really worth? Can it make me happy? Can I even do it?

After a long summer I know the answers to all of these questions is yes.

Yes to the long hours. Yes to the moments where it takes all I have to make it happen. And yes to knowing now that I have so much more I can give and do. There is something to be said for surpassing all your resources to find out that there is so much more in you than ever thought. It may have been hard but I love it.

There I said it.

But of course my life wasn't totally consumed by the show. Yes there were 18, 20, 23 hour days--there were days when I could see straight or find the energy to be the person that everyone else in my life needed me to be. But I knew this as it was happening and I did try my best to address it.

When I was not working or sleeping I was at parties for all my friends. I had dinners with Chloe and Naomi, I spent time buying things to go with the "new" couch Lola got the Dollhouse, I saw more movies than I have in a long time and I think I was able to try and stay connected with people.

I bought a lot of t-shirts and boots and grandfather sweaters.... I continued to lose weight throughout the summer.... I read more books suggested to me by friends then the same 6 authors... I laughed a lot more when I could... I came to master living with a boyfriend and continue to work on being a better person all around.

Which brings me back to the blog. Something that I need to give me clarity and an outlet for all the silly. I promise now that things are getting slower to try and recommit to my words and those who choose to read them. Maybe things will be better because of how much I have had to write this summer

Or not. We shall see.

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