Okay--this is a new column about those great boys crushes of days past--the covers of Tiger Beat, TGIF, Total Request Live--the boys who drove us crazy and leave a hazy memory or two of the perfect crush... And I'm going to go straight classic with this one--
Swoon Jake Ryan
I was totally obsessed with Michael Schoeffling from the word go--Jake was the perfect high school guy--between his looks, his kind of dumb yet puppy dog personality and a certain charm that took away the rough edges... And so I watched him in EVERYTHING
Why Yes That is A Faux Hawk--and A Half Naked Forrest Whittaker
I watched the biking movie Vision Quest for a month on a loop--it had that odd homoeroticism going on for a sport movie--I mean he leads a group fight in their underwear for no real reason... The fact that parents didn't figure out I was gay from this alone--yikes...
But Schoeffling wasn't just an actor--he was an in-demand model who did various campaigns for fashion houses such Missoni and the covers of magazines including GQ... You couldnt go anywhere without seeing him in the 80s fashion landscape--and I was able to print those pictures off the internet and hang them in my room.... This was when I told my parents I was learning to pose so I could become a male model
Because Hanging This Was Fooling Anyone
Of course--eventually Schoeffling got married, left the business and has two children of his own... He now owns and works as a furniture maker--I briefly debated putting a custom Schoeffling piece on my wedding registry but figured that might be a bit much for even me...
The funny thing is that he is so remembered for "Sixteen Candles" that some of his more interesting work is left out--his small interesting part in "Long Time Companion", the cult classic horse film "Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken" and the Melissa Gilbert classic "Sylvester"
Though to be honest--in my old age I have discovered that my favorite role is him in "Mermaids"--there is something so firm and adult and sexy about him in that him. It helps that he and Ryder have a great chemistry and his role is all about his simple ease as an actor.
I mean come on--He made me want to join a convent
I am sure he gets this all the time but he was totally my first crush--I'm pretty sure he made me gay!