Sunday, January 03, 2010

The Importance of Being Good

First of… Happy New Year.

I know it’s late.

I spent my time back from Seattle getting back into the swing of things. Working out, back on the diet, running last minute errands; it’s been rather boring but good. I think I needed to get back into the flow of real life.

But as New Year’s rolled around, I got to thinking about resolutions. I am a huge fan of setting goals and that night is one of best nights to get those type of thoughts flowing in my head. I started to go through all the usual lists—losing weight, better jobs, finishing the novel, working on my relationship. But the one I kept coming back to—the idea of being a better person.

Instead, I started to wonder what that means…

I like to believe that I am a good person. I spend out thank you notes, I try to get together with my friends when they need me, I try to be grateful for the parties and the invitations, that I can take care of myself and those I love. But I don’t know if it is enough.

I don’t call my family enough. I can be a difficult boyfriend sometimes. I don’t call people enough. I don’t leave sweet messages on Facebook pages. I don’t always give gifts at the right times. I don’t always talk nice. I don’t forget past slights.

I wonder if I am nice or if I am just imagining that.

I don’t know. Maybe we all wrestle with these thoughts, these doubts, these questions. That at the end of the day it is impossible to know if we are doing enough or if we just have to trust that we are doing the best that we can. I have to hope that is the case. But maybe I should work on figuring out what being a better person means for me.

Or at least change the negative things that I know for certain are negative.

We’ll see where this takes me.

No comments: