It's Politcial But So What
This is from my friend David's blog--talking about the war and he came up with this question....
Question: will anyone notice when the number of Americans killed in Iraq surpasses the number of Americans killed on September 11th? That would be one way to win against terrorism...beat them at their own game
Guess where he stands on the war
Friday, May 26, 2006
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Summer Surprise! More Finola Hughes on General Hospital
After superspy Anna Devane's splashy five-episode return to General Hospital last week, Finola Hughes' devotees were left thirsty for more.Happily, Finola has revealed on her personal blog that a return engagement is imminent. "Anna needs a place for the summer," Fin teased in her latest post. "She'll be there late June through August. Know of any vacancies?""Finola told me at the Emmys that she had really a good time and she would love to come back," Hospital head writer Bob Guza tells TVGuide.com. "I said, 'Anytime.'"While a full summer's stay is certainly better than a week, might Finola remain in Port Charles on a more permanent basis?"If I have my way, she will be back for a looong period of time," Guza says. "I know she has that other Style network show [How Do I Look?] but maybe there's some way she could do both. I'd do anything possible scheduling-wise to accommodate her 'cause I just love Finola."Also, we got a whole lot of emails and phone calls to the show on the Friday afternoon when she dropped out of the helicopter," Guza adds. "The response to Finola's return as Anna Devane has been very, very strong, which is wonderful. She's a capable, competent woman who can kick a man's ass, yet she's a sexy seductress and she's Robin's mom, having to deal with a grown daughter who's having relationship problems. Finola juggles those three aspects extremely well."
After superspy Anna Devane's splashy five-episode return to General Hospital last week, Finola Hughes' devotees were left thirsty for more.Happily, Finola has revealed on her personal blog that a return engagement is imminent. "Anna needs a place for the summer," Fin teased in her latest post. "She'll be there late June through August. Know of any vacancies?""Finola told me at the Emmys that she had really a good time and she would love to come back," Hospital head writer Bob Guza tells TVGuide.com. "I said, 'Anytime.'"While a full summer's stay is certainly better than a week, might Finola remain in Port Charles on a more permanent basis?"If I have my way, she will be back for a looong period of time," Guza says. "I know she has that other Style network show [How Do I Look?] but maybe there's some way she could do both. I'd do anything possible scheduling-wise to accommodate her 'cause I just love Finola."Also, we got a whole lot of emails and phone calls to the show on the Friday afternoon when she dropped out of the helicopter," Guza adds. "The response to Finola's return as Anna Devane has been very, very strong, which is wonderful. She's a capable, competent woman who can kick a man's ass, yet she's a sexy seductress and she's Robin's mom, having to deal with a grown daughter who's having relationship problems. Finola juggles those three aspects extremely well."
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
 | You scored as 4th Doctor. Wild, eccentric, wacky! do you want a jelly babie?
What Doctor Who character are You? created with QuizFarm.com |
| You scored as 4th Doctor. Wild, eccentric, wacky! do you want a jelly babie?
What Doctor Who character are You? created with QuizFarm.com |
Six Months, One Week and Two Days
That’s how long I’ve had with the boy. It doesn’t—as Valeska pointed out—feel that long at all. It seems too short and yet when I think about all the things that have happened to me—to my friends—since we started dating it doesn’t seem like nearly long enough.
It’s weird when you think of a relationship in that way—by breaking it down to all the little moments of life that happen around it. I had my ceiling cave in, my best friend lost her mother, four good friends moved, another friend won a starring role in two separate plays, I worked one of my longest story jobs ever, had two friends get accepted to grad school and another set of friends make plans to move away. It’s a lot of things to have happen against the backdrop of falling for this guy--this sweet, funny, smart, talented guy.
We spent the actual day half hanging out—half not. I worked out and read Jane Austen at home while he spent it writing a new script for this idea that he might be getting a grant for. We’re both really good at just letting the other run off for long periods of time with no thought at all. But Samuel and I did meet up for a film (‘Over the Hedge’ because he had a screening) and grabbed food before heading back to my place to just be all couply. We geeked out to “Grey’s Anatomy” and pick up—nothing really special done but still special to us.
Which is how I think how we work best—we build our relationship around all the other real things in our lives. Our very separate lives. Nothing is shoved aside or traded away for some ideal or way that things are supposed to be. We don’t make ourselves into something we’re not—or can’t—be. This makes me believe that we see each other for all the things that make us who we were before we met then for all the things we might want each other to be for our relationship.
It is amazing that it took us just six months to see each other to get to this place. Especially with all the other distractions.
That’s how long I’ve had with the boy. It doesn’t—as Valeska pointed out—feel that long at all. It seems too short and yet when I think about all the things that have happened to me—to my friends—since we started dating it doesn’t seem like nearly long enough.
It’s weird when you think of a relationship in that way—by breaking it down to all the little moments of life that happen around it. I had my ceiling cave in, my best friend lost her mother, four good friends moved, another friend won a starring role in two separate plays, I worked one of my longest story jobs ever, had two friends get accepted to grad school and another set of friends make plans to move away. It’s a lot of things to have happen against the backdrop of falling for this guy--this sweet, funny, smart, talented guy.
We spent the actual day half hanging out—half not. I worked out and read Jane Austen at home while he spent it writing a new script for this idea that he might be getting a grant for. We’re both really good at just letting the other run off for long periods of time with no thought at all. But Samuel and I did meet up for a film (‘Over the Hedge’ because he had a screening) and grabbed food before heading back to my place to just be all couply. We geeked out to “Grey’s Anatomy” and pick up—nothing really special done but still special to us.
Which is how I think how we work best—we build our relationship around all the other real things in our lives. Our very separate lives. Nothing is shoved aside or traded away for some ideal or way that things are supposed to be. We don’t make ourselves into something we’re not—or can’t—be. This makes me believe that we see each other for all the things that make us who we were before we met then for all the things we might want each other to be for our relationship.
It is amazing that it took us just six months to see each other to get to this place. Especially with all the other distractions.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Hurts So Good
So I’ve been boot camping it for the last few days. I have just been really aware of how big I have gotten and also how lazy life has made me as of late. Because of this (and a pair of jeans that has ALWAYS fitted and then seem to not want to) I have started getting back into my yoga routine as well as skating one.
Of course it helps to have free time due to not working but even still—I had forgotten how much I like a good strong workout. And not in a “oh I’m gonna look hot” way but in a much simpler “it feels good to get rid of this sloth feeling” way. I like how much happier doing this is making me and is certainly helping me get over recent events.
Now I just have to be more careful of what I do with Samuel. I’m sore enough already.
So I’ve been boot camping it for the last few days. I have just been really aware of how big I have gotten and also how lazy life has made me as of late. Because of this (and a pair of jeans that has ALWAYS fitted and then seem to not want to) I have started getting back into my yoga routine as well as skating one.
Of course it helps to have free time due to not working but even still—I had forgotten how much I like a good strong workout. And not in a “oh I’m gonna look hot” way but in a much simpler “it feels good to get rid of this sloth feeling” way. I like how much happier doing this is making me and is certainly helping me get over recent events.
Now I just have to be more careful of what I do with Samuel. I’m sore enough already.
Guess Who’s Back—And Not Being A Bitch About It
So I have been hiding out as of late. There are a number of reasons; that I have been boring and dull and not getting much accomplished. It could also be that I have been living on the edge about certain things that were going to come to pass. Things that I didn’t really want to deal with.
See--sometimes you know life is going a certain way and you don’t want to believe it and so you do everything in your power to ignore or avoid it. And I have been doing a lot of both because acknowledging what was going down was going to get me thinking about why it was going down and that’s not good for any of us.
I understand that things sometimes happen and spiral out of control—that people get carried away in the moment with even thinking about it. I can even get behind the ideal that people don’t mean what they do—up to a point. But there is always a right way/right time/right place to do something. What I don’t understand is when people do something blatantly stupid without thinking of those consequences at all.
And now all I can do is put things behind me and move forward. Not think too much about the who/what/how of things and just get back to being me. To not hold grudges even if they are justified and just move on beyond it. And to remember what to trust in—which is always harder than it looks.
So I have been hiding out as of late. There are a number of reasons; that I have been boring and dull and not getting much accomplished. It could also be that I have been living on the edge about certain things that were going to come to pass. Things that I didn’t really want to deal with.
See--sometimes you know life is going a certain way and you don’t want to believe it and so you do everything in your power to ignore or avoid it. And I have been doing a lot of both because acknowledging what was going down was going to get me thinking about why it was going down and that’s not good for any of us.
I understand that things sometimes happen and spiral out of control—that people get carried away in the moment with even thinking about it. I can even get behind the ideal that people don’t mean what they do—up to a point. But there is always a right way/right time/right place to do something. What I don’t understand is when people do something blatantly stupid without thinking of those consequences at all.
And now all I can do is put things behind me and move forward. Not think too much about the who/what/how of things and just get back to being me. To not hold grudges even if they are justified and just move on beyond it. And to remember what to trust in—which is always harder than it looks.
Friday, May 12, 2006
Saturday, May 06, 2006
If you believe that good should triumph over evil...
If you believe in the power of the people, democracy, free speech and popping pills...
Then join the campaign!Concerned Americans are mobilizing and several groups are urging us all to boycott Mission Impossible 3.
But, that is not enough!Not only must we all avoid the TomKat film, but in order to have more of an effect and be heard much louder, we should throw our support to Hoot, instead, which also opens this weekend.
It's the perfect movie to go watch with your stoner friends or on a date - just make out the whole time.Plus, Luke Wilson is in it. And, how could you not love that nose?Join the campaign.
Give it to Tom where it hurts. And, have a Hoot!
If you believe in the power of the people, democracy, free speech and popping pills...
Then join the campaign!Concerned Americans are mobilizing and several groups are urging us all to boycott Mission Impossible 3.
But, that is not enough!Not only must we all avoid the TomKat film, but in order to have more of an effect and be heard much louder, we should throw our support to Hoot, instead, which also opens this weekend.
It's the perfect movie to go watch with your stoner friends or on a date - just make out the whole time.Plus, Luke Wilson is in it. And, how could you not love that nose?Join the campaign.
Give it to Tom where it hurts. And, have a Hoot!
Xana-what? Xanadu
So the best laid plans seem to be coming last minute as of late. In the past few days I have managed to see lots of random people and do random things. It’s always nice to have that—the unexpected night (or day since not working) of fun.
Case in point-last night. Kira (Yeah—name change on the field) e-mailed me and a few others about how the NuArt was doing a midnight showing of the camp classic ‘Xanadu’. This was certainly exciting since I have never seen the film on the big screen and hadn’t watched it properly in a few years. So Joy and I made plans to meet up with Miss Kira to go and catch the film simply because Joy had never seen it and I needed to go and get my gayk (gay geek) on.
We arrived rather early and got the chance to hang out and chat and catch up. It was fun and even more so once we caught up with Kira. We drank sodas and debated whether we needed to be in line since no one seemed to be there. We talked about roller skating and work and boys and it was fun.
It was also quite fun to be in a half filled theatre of gay boys, their hags, and older couples (who probably saw it on their first date) who knew all the words and all the lines to the film. Nothing beats being reassured that one is not crazy for loving something as abstract as a bad eighties roller skating musical of dubious quality.
And after I arrived home last night I realized that it’s great to hang out with people whom you like but don’t get to see much. That doing something off the wall with someone different is something I need to do more often. I also learned that the theme song of the film ends different in the film than on the soundtrack.
Olivia hits a much more realistic note.
So the best laid plans seem to be coming last minute as of late. In the past few days I have managed to see lots of random people and do random things. It’s always nice to have that—the unexpected night (or day since not working) of fun.
Case in point-last night. Kira (Yeah—name change on the field) e-mailed me and a few others about how the NuArt was doing a midnight showing of the camp classic ‘Xanadu’. This was certainly exciting since I have never seen the film on the big screen and hadn’t watched it properly in a few years. So Joy and I made plans to meet up with Miss Kira to go and catch the film simply because Joy had never seen it and I needed to go and get my gayk (gay geek) on.
We arrived rather early and got the chance to hang out and chat and catch up. It was fun and even more so once we caught up with Kira. We drank sodas and debated whether we needed to be in line since no one seemed to be there. We talked about roller skating and work and boys and it was fun.
It was also quite fun to be in a half filled theatre of gay boys, their hags, and older couples (who probably saw it on their first date) who knew all the words and all the lines to the film. Nothing beats being reassured that one is not crazy for loving something as abstract as a bad eighties roller skating musical of dubious quality.
And after I arrived home last night I realized that it’s great to hang out with people whom you like but don’t get to see much. That doing something off the wall with someone different is something I need to do more often. I also learned that the theme song of the film ends different in the film than on the soundtrack.
Olivia hits a much more realistic note.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Subject: Congress is selling out the Internet
Hi Everyone,
Do you buy books online, use Google, or download to an iPod? Everything we do online will be hurt if Congress passes a radical law next week that gives giant corporations more control over what we do and see on the Internet.
Internet providers like AT&T are lobbying Congress hard to gut Network Neutrality--the Internet's First Amendment and the key to Internet freedom. Net Neutrality prevents AT&T from choosing which websites open most easily for you based on which site pays AT&T more. BarnesandNoble.com doesn't have to outbid Amazon for the right to work properly on your computer.
If Net Neutrality is gutted, many sites--including Google, eBay, and iTunes--must either pay protection money to companies like AT&T or risk having their websites process slowly. That why these high-tech pioneers, plus diverse groups ranging from MoveOn to Gun Owners of America, are opposing Congress' effort to gut Internet freedom.
You can do your part today--can you sign this petition telling your member of Congress to preserve Internet freedom? Click here:
http://www.civic.moveon.org/save_the_internet?track_referer=706%7C7015104-Xpy3nTL3VnJOO7ktmkNmRA
I signed this petition, along with 250,000 others so far. This petiton will be delivered to Congress before the House of Representatives votes next week. When you sign, you'll be kept informed of the next steps we can take to keep the heat on Congress.
Snopes.com, which monitors various causes that circulate on the Internet, explained:
Simply put, network neutrality means that no web site's traffic has precedence over any other's...Whether a user searches for recipes using Google, reads an article on snopes.com, or looks at a friend's MySpace profile, all of that data is treated equally and delivered from the originating web site to the user's web browser with the same priority. In recent months, however, some of the telephone and cable companies that control the telecommunications networks over which Internet data flows have floated the idea of creating the electronic equivalent of a paid carpool lane.
If companies like AT&T have their way, Web sites ranging from Google to eBay to iTunes either pay protection money to get into the "fast lane" or risk opening slowly on your computer. We can't let the Internet--this incredible medium which has been such a revolutionary force for democratic participation, economic innovation, and free speech--become captive to large corporations.
Politicians don't think we are paying attention to this issue. Together, we do care about preserving the free and open Internet.
Please sign this petition letting your member of Congress know you support preserving Internet freedom. Click here:
http://www.civic.moveon.org/save_the_internet?track_referer=706%7C7015104-Xpy3nTL3VnJOO7ktmkNmRA
Thanks.
Hi Everyone,
Do you buy books online, use Google, or download to an iPod? Everything we do online will be hurt if Congress passes a radical law next week that gives giant corporations more control over what we do and see on the Internet.
Internet providers like AT&T are lobbying Congress hard to gut Network Neutrality--the Internet's First Amendment and the key to Internet freedom. Net Neutrality prevents AT&T from choosing which websites open most easily for you based on which site pays AT&T more. BarnesandNoble.com doesn't have to outbid Amazon for the right to work properly on your computer.
If Net Neutrality is gutted, many sites--including Google, eBay, and iTunes--must either pay protection money to companies like AT&T or risk having their websites process slowly. That why these high-tech pioneers, plus diverse groups ranging from MoveOn to Gun Owners of America, are opposing Congress' effort to gut Internet freedom.
You can do your part today--can you sign this petition telling your member of Congress to preserve Internet freedom? Click here:
http://www.civic.moveon.org/save_the_internet?track_referer=706%7C7015104-Xpy3nTL3VnJOO7ktmkNmRA
I signed this petition, along with 250,000 others so far. This petiton will be delivered to Congress before the House of Representatives votes next week. When you sign, you'll be kept informed of the next steps we can take to keep the heat on Congress.
Snopes.com, which monitors various causes that circulate on the Internet, explained:
Simply put, network neutrality means that no web site's traffic has precedence over any other's...Whether a user searches for recipes using Google, reads an article on snopes.com, or looks at a friend's MySpace profile, all of that data is treated equally and delivered from the originating web site to the user's web browser with the same priority. In recent months, however, some of the telephone and cable companies that control the telecommunications networks over which Internet data flows have floated the idea of creating the electronic equivalent of a paid carpool lane.
If companies like AT&T have their way, Web sites ranging from Google to eBay to iTunes either pay protection money to get into the "fast lane" or risk opening slowly on your computer. We can't let the Internet--this incredible medium which has been such a revolutionary force for democratic participation, economic innovation, and free speech--become captive to large corporations.
Politicians don't think we are paying attention to this issue. Together, we do care about preserving the free and open Internet.
Please sign this petition letting your member of Congress know you support preserving Internet freedom. Click here:
http://www.civic.moveon.org/save_the_internet?track_referer=706%7C7015104-Xpy3nTL3VnJOO7ktmkNmRA
Thanks.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
No Pants Day is Friday, May the 5th!
We are SWAMPED!
There are hundreds of celebrations going on. Send pictures to PICS AT NOPANTSDAY.COM So
here's the bare minimum you need to know:
No Pants Day is TOMORROW.
No Pants Day is a day where everyone, be they students, respectable businessmen, or cherished community leaders, leave their pants behind.
High quality flyers and raw images can be had here.
If you take pictures, upload them to Flickr with the tag 'nopantsday'. If you don't have a flickr account, send them to pics AT nopantsday.com
The celebration in Austin will be a part of the Austin Improv Collective's improv shows at the Hideout on Friday. The Hideout is located at 617 Congress Ave. Shows are at 8, 10, and 11:30pm.
The celebration in Atlanta, GA will be a pantsless pub meeting (possibly pub crawl?) starting at Trackside in Decatur, Ga, next to Agnes Scott College. Also, people sans pants on bikes will be given extra kudos and will make things easier going from pub to pub with many folks. Meet at Trackside around 9-ish pm
Anyone wanting more information should contact us at INFO AT NOPANTSDAY.COM.
Check out our myspace account for bulletins at http://myspace.com/nopantsday.
Pictures from last year's celebrations across the world can be temporarily seen here.
We are SWAMPED!
There are hundreds of celebrations going on. Send pictures to PICS AT NOPANTSDAY.COM So
here's the bare minimum you need to know:
No Pants Day is TOMORROW.
No Pants Day is a day where everyone, be they students, respectable businessmen, or cherished community leaders, leave their pants behind.
High quality flyers and raw images can be had here.
If you take pictures, upload them to Flickr with the tag 'nopantsday'. If you don't have a flickr account, send them to pics AT nopantsday.com
The celebration in Austin will be a part of the Austin Improv Collective's improv shows at the Hideout on Friday. The Hideout is located at 617 Congress Ave. Shows are at 8, 10, and 11:30pm.
The celebration in Atlanta, GA will be a pantsless pub meeting (possibly pub crawl?) starting at Trackside in Decatur, Ga, next to Agnes Scott College. Also, people sans pants on bikes will be given extra kudos and will make things easier going from pub to pub with many folks. Meet at Trackside around 9-ish pm
Anyone wanting more information should contact us at INFO AT NOPANTSDAY.COM.
Check out our myspace account for bulletins at http://myspace.com/nopantsday.
Pictures from last year's celebrations across the world can be temporarily seen here.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Top Ten Things I Do When Not Working
1) Catch up on my daytime tv-did you know Victor took over Newman again?
2) Reread all my Jane Austen novels from the good to the best.
3) Reorganize my music on my computer then act amazed at how gay it all seems.
4) Clean out my closet and donate untrendy things to goodwill.
5) Debate career change to something more consistent like hooking or accounting.
6) Wonder if I can afford a small vacation.
7) Make up my sleep lost while working.
8) Take long walks to the post office for lack of things to do.
9) Make tons of dinner/lunch plans with the nightshift people.
10) Leave long lingering messages on friends’ voicemails for no apparent reason.
1) Catch up on my daytime tv-did you know Victor took over Newman again?
2) Reread all my Jane Austen novels from the good to the best.
3) Reorganize my music on my computer then act amazed at how gay it all seems.
4) Clean out my closet and donate untrendy things to goodwill.
5) Debate career change to something more consistent like hooking or accounting.
6) Wonder if I can afford a small vacation.
7) Make up my sleep lost while working.
8) Take long walks to the post office for lack of things to do.
9) Make tons of dinner/lunch plans with the nightshift people.
10) Leave long lingering messages on friends’ voicemails for no apparent reason.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Fighter?
I'm not a very good fighter--that's not to say I'm not ambitious but I'm not very in your face or willing to ride someone for what I want. I figure that good work shows and good word of mouth is important and people who try too hard get annoying and left behind. I'm not a self promotion machine.
What's this all about? BB. See, I have been in a hold position with them for the last few weeks and I have no idea what is going on or what to do. I've sent e-mails to the right people and have spoken multiple times with several key people in the proccess but can't seem to get a straight answer. I mean I know what I want.
Story--thats it. I would like to be AT LEAST seriously considered for story with the show--to have the interview and meet with the right people and all that but I haven't heard ANYTHING at all about me coming back to the show in any capicty.
I know that certain other people--Lola, Shannon, Sofie, Cheryl and Shelly have all been contacted about their returns and offered jobs and yet...nothing. And I'm at a loss as what to do. I mean--there are more people I could call and more buttons to push but I don't want to be that guy running behind them and yapping like a dog to get attention.
I'd rather just be told where I stand in the grand scheme of things so I can make my next move--whatever that is. I just feel like so many people--not just my friends--are behind me making this move up and seem to believe that I can do it so why can't I just get a call back? It's really starting to bother me and even more--it's starting to hurt my feelings.
I'm not a very good fighter--that's not to say I'm not ambitious but I'm not very in your face or willing to ride someone for what I want. I figure that good work shows and good word of mouth is important and people who try too hard get annoying and left behind. I'm not a self promotion machine.
What's this all about? BB. See, I have been in a hold position with them for the last few weeks and I have no idea what is going on or what to do. I've sent e-mails to the right people and have spoken multiple times with several key people in the proccess but can't seem to get a straight answer. I mean I know what I want.
Story--thats it. I would like to be AT LEAST seriously considered for story with the show--to have the interview and meet with the right people and all that but I haven't heard ANYTHING at all about me coming back to the show in any capicty.
I know that certain other people--Lola, Shannon, Sofie, Cheryl and Shelly have all been contacted about their returns and offered jobs and yet...nothing. And I'm at a loss as what to do. I mean--there are more people I could call and more buttons to push but I don't want to be that guy running behind them and yapping like a dog to get attention.
I'd rather just be told where I stand in the grand scheme of things so I can make my next move--whatever that is. I just feel like so many people--not just my friends--are behind me making this move up and seem to believe that I can do it so why can't I just get a call back? It's really starting to bother me and even more--it's starting to hurt my feelings.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
They Come and Go—They Come and Go
I’m not a huge believer in the idea of tit for tat or instant repercussions or even karma. I think that when things happen you just have to work through them. Assigning them some cosmic importance seems more an excuse than anything else. I normally don’t give these things much thought but…
Okay—so last week I did something bad. (Maybe it was two weeks ago…) I knew when I did it that I fucked up but it was too late for me to stop anything and so I decided that I would just have to ride it out. I would say that I was more embarrassed than angry with myself because the ball was already in play and anything I would have done would have made it worse.
Later on, when I went out with my friend Charity, I couldn’t stop beating myself up. I mean—there is a certain point at which you have to let things go in order to move on but still... It was stuck in my head. And I tried to figure out what should have happened in the aftermath but there wasn’t anything.
And as I walked to the bank--while Charity waited in the Pier—I realized that maybe there was no real fall out. That I was just hoping for one in order to beat myself up and just be done with the whole thing. “Just punish me so I can move on”. But if there is no punishment then maybe there is no real consequence. That I was not doing anything good by suffering for my sins.
Happy with myself, I walked back to the store and stared in the window as I finished my cigarette. For a moment I thought I saw two ghosts out of my past—Vera and Laura—two girls that I had worked with at the Pier and had backstabbed me when I broke up with Enrique years ago. Of course it wasn’t possible since we had all moved on and Vera had moved out of state.
Imagine my shock when I entered the store and realized Charity was indeed chatting with them—plain as day and like nothing ever happened. I covered up my horror (as best I could) as the three of them noticed me. The hardest thing about the situation with Vera and Laura was that I had thought they were my friends but when I broke with Enrique they had both taken his side. Not only that, they had spread rumors about the breakup and driven me so crazy that I quit Pier One and never looked back.
So to see them, after years, just standing there and making small talk in the middle of our old stomping grounds was extremely surreal. I wondered what had brought this upon me and as I thought back I realized that I had MINUTES before thought there was never a repercussion for the things we do.
Needless to say—after one of the most awkward and painful half-hours ever—I have started to rethink my karma policy. I think maybe Boy George it right—it does come and go.
I’m not a huge believer in the idea of tit for tat or instant repercussions or even karma. I think that when things happen you just have to work through them. Assigning them some cosmic importance seems more an excuse than anything else. I normally don’t give these things much thought but…
Okay—so last week I did something bad. (Maybe it was two weeks ago…) I knew when I did it that I fucked up but it was too late for me to stop anything and so I decided that I would just have to ride it out. I would say that I was more embarrassed than angry with myself because the ball was already in play and anything I would have done would have made it worse.
Later on, when I went out with my friend Charity, I couldn’t stop beating myself up. I mean—there is a certain point at which you have to let things go in order to move on but still... It was stuck in my head. And I tried to figure out what should have happened in the aftermath but there wasn’t anything.
And as I walked to the bank--while Charity waited in the Pier—I realized that maybe there was no real fall out. That I was just hoping for one in order to beat myself up and just be done with the whole thing. “Just punish me so I can move on”. But if there is no punishment then maybe there is no real consequence. That I was not doing anything good by suffering for my sins.
Happy with myself, I walked back to the store and stared in the window as I finished my cigarette. For a moment I thought I saw two ghosts out of my past—Vera and Laura—two girls that I had worked with at the Pier and had backstabbed me when I broke up with Enrique years ago. Of course it wasn’t possible since we had all moved on and Vera had moved out of state.
Imagine my shock when I entered the store and realized Charity was indeed chatting with them—plain as day and like nothing ever happened. I covered up my horror (as best I could) as the three of them noticed me. The hardest thing about the situation with Vera and Laura was that I had thought they were my friends but when I broke with Enrique they had both taken his side. Not only that, they had spread rumors about the breakup and driven me so crazy that I quit Pier One and never looked back.
So to see them, after years, just standing there and making small talk in the middle of our old stomping grounds was extremely surreal. I wondered what had brought this upon me and as I thought back I realized that I had MINUTES before thought there was never a repercussion for the things we do.
Needless to say—after one of the most awkward and painful half-hours ever—I have started to rethink my karma policy. I think maybe Boy George it right—it does come and go.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Good Friday Indeed
You know its a good Friday when...
Its the last day of work at a job you are pretty much over. It helps that the head boss is away so people can take long lunch breaks or leave early for 'religious' reasons.
Its a better Friday when you leave work for lunch with your boyfriend and instead spend most of the hour and a half away having great sex. It's even better to go to work with the 'sex smile'.
It the best friday when you get to have dinner with a friend you haven't seen in awhile and will have plenty of time to catch up with.
You know its a good Friday when...
Its the last day of work at a job you are pretty much over. It helps that the head boss is away so people can take long lunch breaks or leave early for 'religious' reasons.
Its a better Friday when you leave work for lunch with your boyfriend and instead spend most of the hour and a half away having great sex. It's even better to go to work with the 'sex smile'.
It the best friday when you get to have dinner with a friend you haven't seen in awhile and will have plenty of time to catch up with.
Bitchiness; It’s More of A Calling Then A Hobby.
So I was a total bitch this past weekend—it’s part of the reason that I have not blogged at all this week. I have been busy processing what went done and making peace with myself before committing words and thought to paper.
It started with an odd Friday night—forced to stay at work late due to my boss being insane and my other boss leaving. We had a going away part right before the end of the night; which was fun and great until my boss put on a newly finished episode and made us all stay late to watch it. This is not cool when we were all done and just wanted to go. And it wasn’t to suggest changes but to bask in ‘how good’ it was. Seriously.
So after getting home MUCH later then I wanted I sat around and did nothing. Most everyone was going out to an event that I had no interest in and the boy was with his number girl and so I sat at home and just watched “Doctor Who”. Geek extreme. So I was tired and went to bed kind of cranky though with the boy.
Saturday was hectic or at least it was supposed to be. I had a list of few things I needed to do—like a hair cut and get some taxes from my friend Charity and just odds and ends. I got sidetracked because I want to check my e-mail for some information. This was a HUGE mistake considering I got a HUGE virus.
This might not be a big deal to some but I have my new computer, which I was still in the process of transferring files to. I have been very picky and just taking my time with what I put on there and relabeling things and just getting a clean, well set up machine. So I had not backed it up yet AT ALL and so this virus basically put me at risk to use everything I have. Part of this was my own fault for deleting things off the old computer and thinking that I wouldn’t need old disks.
Things grew worse because the more I did to find out how to fix it the more I realized that I would have to DUMP my entire hard drive and start over. This meant that I ran the risk of losing ALL my writing—I mean everything I had from 12 onward. Three plays, two novels, four scripts, countless short stories and every column I have had. And I FREAKED OUT. (This doesn’t even include all my music and photos that were in danger of being lost.)
Needless to say I was upset. After realizing there was little I could do I hustled out the door to meet up with Charity at the Pier to get the taxes. She had sent me an e-mail saying that she would be there from 10 till 2 and since the computer sidetracked me, I was cutting it really close.
So I busted ass to get to the Pier and there was no sign of her. I waited around for about an hour—steaming mad about it—and was about to leave when I noticed her car in the parking. Where she was sleeping. Turns out that she inverted the times and was working from 2 till ten. Annoyed I took my taxes—stopped to get some cash—and set out to get my haircut.
And I forgot that it was the Saturday afternoon the weekend before Easter. So I couldn’t get a hair cut ANYWHERE since everyone was booked. And I almost burst into tears on Ventura. (Yeah—gay and girly. What the fuck ever.) Needless to say that day pretty much killed me.
I topped said weekend with some shopping with Lola; which actually helped me get calm. At least until that night when I refreaked out about the computer--took out my anger in some unhealthy ways--ending with me arguing with the boy and him leaving at 2 in the morning.
Adding to the fun was the realization that my job was ending and I had no real prospects for work yet and with the computer out of commission I would have a hard time getting things done like resumes and e-mails. And then the money issue hit home when I realized that I still had to book a room in Vegas for Kelly’s birthday. I went full on panic.
After some days alone—as well as a night of full craziness--I have since calmed down. I have managed to figure out a way to save the files if not the computer, apologized to the boy, and just been thinking things through more.
I also realized that being this upset was doing nothing for me. Several different people were huge helps in this, by either letting me take my train to Crazytown, giving good suggestions or giving hugs. I have since come to realize that being a bitch is not much fun and doesn’t do well as a long-term plan.
It's really just not me.
So I was a total bitch this past weekend—it’s part of the reason that I have not blogged at all this week. I have been busy processing what went done and making peace with myself before committing words and thought to paper.
It started with an odd Friday night—forced to stay at work late due to my boss being insane and my other boss leaving. We had a going away part right before the end of the night; which was fun and great until my boss put on a newly finished episode and made us all stay late to watch it. This is not cool when we were all done and just wanted to go. And it wasn’t to suggest changes but to bask in ‘how good’ it was. Seriously.
So after getting home MUCH later then I wanted I sat around and did nothing. Most everyone was going out to an event that I had no interest in and the boy was with his number girl and so I sat at home and just watched “Doctor Who”. Geek extreme. So I was tired and went to bed kind of cranky though with the boy.
Saturday was hectic or at least it was supposed to be. I had a list of few things I needed to do—like a hair cut and get some taxes from my friend Charity and just odds and ends. I got sidetracked because I want to check my e-mail for some information. This was a HUGE mistake considering I got a HUGE virus.
This might not be a big deal to some but I have my new computer, which I was still in the process of transferring files to. I have been very picky and just taking my time with what I put on there and relabeling things and just getting a clean, well set up machine. So I had not backed it up yet AT ALL and so this virus basically put me at risk to use everything I have. Part of this was my own fault for deleting things off the old computer and thinking that I wouldn’t need old disks.
Things grew worse because the more I did to find out how to fix it the more I realized that I would have to DUMP my entire hard drive and start over. This meant that I ran the risk of losing ALL my writing—I mean everything I had from 12 onward. Three plays, two novels, four scripts, countless short stories and every column I have had. And I FREAKED OUT. (This doesn’t even include all my music and photos that were in danger of being lost.)
Needless to say I was upset. After realizing there was little I could do I hustled out the door to meet up with Charity at the Pier to get the taxes. She had sent me an e-mail saying that she would be there from 10 till 2 and since the computer sidetracked me, I was cutting it really close.
So I busted ass to get to the Pier and there was no sign of her. I waited around for about an hour—steaming mad about it—and was about to leave when I noticed her car in the parking. Where she was sleeping. Turns out that she inverted the times and was working from 2 till ten. Annoyed I took my taxes—stopped to get some cash—and set out to get my haircut.
And I forgot that it was the Saturday afternoon the weekend before Easter. So I couldn’t get a hair cut ANYWHERE since everyone was booked. And I almost burst into tears on Ventura. (Yeah—gay and girly. What the fuck ever.) Needless to say that day pretty much killed me.
I topped said weekend with some shopping with Lola; which actually helped me get calm. At least until that night when I refreaked out about the computer--took out my anger in some unhealthy ways--ending with me arguing with the boy and him leaving at 2 in the morning.
Adding to the fun was the realization that my job was ending and I had no real prospects for work yet and with the computer out of commission I would have a hard time getting things done like resumes and e-mails. And then the money issue hit home when I realized that I still had to book a room in Vegas for Kelly’s birthday. I went full on panic.
After some days alone—as well as a night of full craziness--I have since calmed down. I have managed to figure out a way to save the files if not the computer, apologized to the boy, and just been thinking things through more.
I also realized that being this upset was doing nothing for me. Several different people were huge helps in this, by either letting me take my train to Crazytown, giving good suggestions or giving hugs. I have since come to realize that being a bitch is not much fun and doesn’t do well as a long-term plan.
It's really just not me.
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