Weight and Waiting
So as you probably saw here--I broke the elipitcal at my apartment. Now it wasn't a fancy 4 figured number, just one of those simple ones that shouldnt last forever and would die eventually. That said--nothing makes you feel fatter than snapping a metal pipe from the weight of your foot--makes you wonder about how much the scale is lying. What sucks most is that I had recently somehow pulled a muscle in my chest which meant doing my usual weight and strength routine was impossible--so I had focused on cardio for the past 4 weeks so I could recover.
I dropped 14 pounds in the first two weeks.
It was amazing because I had felt like I had plateau-ed for so long that any weight change would be good. As a result, I was becoming obsessed with my diet, my workouts, my overall looks in the past weeks. Between trying on various suit options for the wedding--did you know there are male Spanks?--and just bad numbers on the scale I was getting to the tipping point within myself.
And it hasnt help that a number of people in my life are the same way--roommates and co-workers and friends at parties and blogs I read and twitters I follow. Everyone talking about juice fasts and carbs and runnning and Zumba and fitting into clothing and double chins. It was to the point where I reached a line within myself that was very close to Bulemia Rory.
It made my stomach ache to think about it. (The pulled muscle I mean)
So I have decided I have to relax for a bit and just keep working with the things I know help. Less carbs, stay strong with the vegan diet, concentrate on the best workouts for me but also to keep my mind free and clear from overjudging, listen to what my body needs and not let other people's obsessions feed mine. I know how to do better and I just need to remind myself this is a relay and not a sprint, that it's my journey and only I can live it and be responsible for it.
And that some piece of cheap metal snapping is not my fault. I blame being awesome at fitness then bad at my weight