Monday, November 29, 2010

It Is What It Is

Things have been weird. This past week has been an influx of life--two friends announced new babies, there was an elopement, there two engagements--it has been a bit much. The sudden feeling of life starting to gear up and get more serious with more changes to come.

See, i always felt that the 20s were about who you were and who you wanted to be... Making the the perfect balance between where you came from and where you wanted to go. It's a struggle and a balance of sorts that has to be dealt with; a necessary self examination of goals and history so that you could figure out the next steps of life.

But the 30s is about what life you are working towards. You begin to make choices; will i get married? will I have a family? Am I making a career? Am i making a home for myself. It becomes about the end game, the actual goals that are being accomplished and what they really mean to you.

I think that is why the novel has become so important. i am looking at where I am going with my life, where my choices really are taking me. part of it is about whether I am making a career that I want. That i might have to consider that I will not be having children or having a home in the traditional sense. And if i am making those choices--am i doing it for reasons i can live with?

It's been very hard and very adult. Events of the last week have really driven the point home to me and now I have to start really questioning and pushing and creating the things, relationships and moments that will take me to the next step.

It's a bit much--but it is what it is.

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