I’m Using This… (And it is going to get me shot…)

Okay, so to expand on yesterday’s emotion… I have been rather unsatisfied with the way my writing group has been going as of late. It is not one thing but a combination of things that has just made me rather uninspired by it and by myself as well…

The group was started for the best of reasons and in the best of ways—artists having coffee at 1 in the morning, talking about passion and creativity and humor and art. (Maybe that is over selling but, you know, poetic license.) I came out of that night excited to work, to have people who wanted to create and a way to share and work shop stuff… Writing is a lonely place sometimes and it is quite easy to get side tracked and lost within yourself with no one to be accountable towards… Thus PADWAD burst into my life as a ray of sunshine…

And now, as of late, that sunshine as been replace by some type of overcast ennui. It is a combination of events; bad schedules, doubting members, an inability to speak up and this feeling of just… What is the point? I believe in the group—I believe that there is so much that talented people can do together, that us three have a unique routine, a way that we combined that brings out the best traits in each of us….

But now it is about people not saying what they need to, people not wanting to contribute because they feel as if they are imposing, people just afraid on many different levels. And thing is, as the one who seems to be the most confined in—I do understand where everything is coming from but I can’t be the cesspool of doubt and confusion and whatever else is currently up for debate… All I want is a place to be creative, to share and expand our crafts and a way to continue to work with some of the most talented people I know… But I can’t fix this myself and I don’t know if the group will allow for the rest dialogue that needs to happen…. But here’s to hoping so…