I almost had a moment in Starbucks. I made the decision--over the course of the weekend--that I would not be returning to BB unless I was at least offered a serious chance at a promotion. I held out hope that I would get an interviewing or a meeting but instead they turned around and offered the same position as last season.
It was not enough.
I came to realization that what I have been doing wrong was thinking that BB had anything to do with my career. The truth is it has always been a job where they pay well but with nowhere to grow and no upward movement at all. Even my promotion last year and less to do with me than with they fired somebody and I was foolish enough to be the one who said yes. I just thought that after how hard I worked last year, how much blood sweat and tears I put into the process--I would get more back.
Instead I got nothing at all for the effort. Barely even a thank you. BB is not good for my career and that is what I should be working on building--BB has no interest in that either way. I gave them plenty of times to prove otherwise--yet here we are.
And yet it sucks. It is very good money, I have made some amazing friends while there and it is a HUGE part of my LA life... I'm going to miss cigarettes with Walker and Stangle, gossiping with Renita, Scofield, Bennet, the faux flirting with Little, Tommy and Bumble Bee, cracking jokes with TK and Roden, seeing my girls like the Double Ks, Mr. Eugene, Miss Emps and just the big hugs you get that first day back from the most unlikely people.
Oh--the sound of Don booming "Rory George Lapointe" across the compound.
I'm really sad about the decision and a little mopey even if I know it will be the right thing in the long run. I just have to try and remember that for the next few days.