Never A Fan of the Big Top But Always a Ringmaster

So I don't like humilation. I don't think this makes me clever or unique--millions of people feel the same way but normally I am quite adept at dodging it. But for full disclosure I have to revisist the BB promotion.

Long story short--I didn't get the higher position. I knew during my interview that the vibe was there was a journalist who was probably up for it and would knock me out of the running but still... It seemed that both the producers I met with really like me and we had a good talk so I just crossed my fingers and hoped for the best. Add to that the hints at other jobs and I figured something else would pop up.

After a long 'it's not you, it's me' style rejection I had to suck up my pride and agree to my previous position. It wasn't my plan, and I should be grateful at how well I came out of the interview, but it took a few days to shake off the egg from my face. And I'm not really sure who knows what but I have a sense that everyone seems to know what was up so I will have to use my poise and humor to shoulder through.

But it feels embarrassing on some level and so I have to focus on all the good to come out of BB. The good pay, the free food, the cheap gym membership, the great relationships I have with the majority of my co-workers. That I can continue to be as good as I have always been then move on to something else for the future. Though it will be hard cause it felt like I fell off the trapeze in front of the whole circus.

I'll just have to be prepared to crack the whip at any naysayers.