Set the Story in Motion

Episode one.

Tuesday was the first day of my new job—the first day of something new. I have been trying to figure out exactly what type of story I am going for—is it funny or sexy? Does it push the envelope or remind the audience of their own romantic trails and tribulations? I wasn’t sure so I have been trying really hard to imagine what the opening titles would be like.

The opening credits would be a single shot, no cutaways, of me walking through various types of scenarios ala The Spice Girls’ ‘Wannabe’ video. (You can hate the group all you want but that video is pretty damn sweet even with the sound off.) It would totally start with me in pajamas at the computer typing as shot through the window as my phone rings. The camera would follow me through the apartment as I pulled on some jeans and a vintage funny t-shirt (of course) as a grab my backpack and head through the apartment complex.

As I open the gate to head out of the park it would suddenly jump to a visual of me—same outfit—walking through the back lot of a studio on my way to work. It would the lead to various different backgrounds and outfits from the back patio of the Super House during a party to the subway to the streets of Studio City to the various bars (Blue Room or Match or Oil Can Harry’s or Golden Gopher and various others) and would totally end with me up the starts and in the front door of my apartment. The last sequence of the opening would be me shutting the door and then the camera pans back to the same window from the first shot as the light goes off.

But the next big part--at least for me—is the theme song. Am I looking for something catchy like a ‘I’ll Be There for You?’ or is more like more haunting like ‘Sex in The City’ or something more off-beat like ‘The Facts of Life’? The opening just sets the stage for the type of stories that are coming so I had to really think about what I am going for… Charming and silly with pratfalls and farcical elements—whimsical and romantic but also kind of edgy and kitschy. With that in mind I limited myself to a handful of songs that I think fit me rather well.

So then I decided to really look back on the songs that have really fit into places in my life. There’s a string of them that really seem to pop up again and again in my internal soundtrack. ‘Make Your Own Music’ by Mama Cass, ‘You’re So Vain’ by Carly Simon, ‘You Make Me Feel Like Dancing’ by Leo Sayer, ‘Somebody Wants to Love You’ by the Partridge Family, ‘Cherry bomb’ by the Runaways…. Just a handful but each not exactly right—some were too much about relationships in general or too independent for an opening about romance.

My first finalist was ’40 boys in 40 Nights’ by The Donnas. Fast and punk and snarky—kind of a mid finger to the world at large, with no apologies for going after what one wants. But after rolling it around in my head a bit I thought it might be a bit too slutty—I mean I am thinking for this as a romantic romp through Los Angeles and friends and bars and parties and the song seems more like a back alley, sex club, dirty boy theme. Discarded.
Then I thought about ‘I Know What Boys Want’ by The Waitresses. It’s very 80’s and dated but really kind of cute and still subversive—the only problem is that it makes me seem like I would be a bit of a snot and bratty more than self aware and jaded but hopeful. The show is about being coy and clever and clueless all at the same time. Discarded

Then it hit me. James Brown. It’s a lesser known but amazing soul song. One that has played a huge part in my life but not so common that it would feel overplayed like some song can be. The lyrics are ridiculous and empowering and out there but they make me laugh and feel awesome and sexy and ready to do anything. It could totally be my motivation when I’m down. The song? ‘Hot Pants’
One-two One-Two-Three uh!
Hot pants- hey hot pants uh! smokin
Hot pants- smokin that-hot pants

Thats where its at a-thats where its at
Take your fine self home
It looks much better than time
My fever keeps growin
Girl youre blowin my mind

Thinkin of loosin that funky feelin dont uh!
Cause you got to use just what you got
To get just what you want-a
Hey hu!
Hot pants! hey! hot pants smokin!
Hot pants make ya sure of yourself -good Lord
You walk like you got the only lovin left hey
So brother- if youre thinkin of loosin that feelin
Then dont- ha
Cause a woman got to use what she got
To get just what she wants hey!
Hey hotpants
A-look a-hot pants wont make ya dance
But as slick as you are-ah! YOU make the pants
Uh! hey brother- do ya like it?
The girl over there with the funky pants on ha!
She can ah! do the chicken all night long
The girl over there with the hot pants on uh!
She can do the Funky Broadway all night long

The girl over there with the hot pants on
Filthy MacNasty all night long
Get down hu! the one over there
With the mini dress ha!
I aint got time- I still dig that mess
Get down! but I like the hot pants
Hey! I like a hot pants

(Short Instrumental)

Ooooh! Bring it home!
One more! Hit me! Aaay!
Bring it home! Bring it home!
Oh uh! Bring it on home
Bring it on home...


It’s totally my anthem whenever I have to boost myself up in a hurry which makes it the perfect theme song. It is the perfect blend of sex and humor and wit and independence that I would imagine myself to have as a character. And it totally works with the type of visual I would use for a show about me—at least how I would like to see me.

I know that it seems over the top to put so much thought into this but it helps me feel awesome and makes me believe that I can be the star of my own life. Which is exactly what the idea is here—to get me into it!