Sometimes It Doesn’t Work.

Friday was rough… There was no new inciting incident, no novel cause for the distress but just a familiar feeling of being fucked up. It began after work when I was basically in the position of screwing up my whole night and having no way to prevent it.

I realized that I should have left work earlier—not listened to what was being offered and just gone. I got home late—too late to push people to do what we said we would do and too late to adjust for the new plan. I skipped out on dinner with the girls because it run into the show time, skipped out on “Doctor Who” with Davis because I couldn’t get there and basically became depressed on my couch.

And poor Edie saw what was happening and tried to help by giving reasonable suggestions but I just wasn’t having it. I let myself be sucked into feeling useless and dumb and just incapable of living my life due to such a shallow thing.

I mean—the car issue doesn’t normally hold me up. I walk everyway, I get places fine and everyone is great about including me in the game plan and just meeting up with me. I don’t think most people I know could what I have done for the last 8 years. It’s a rare moment tat I get worked about the lack of transport. It’s an accomplishment—as dubious at it sounds.

But Friday night I felt like shit and like I was missing out on things that I wanted for such a loser, sucky reason. The funny thing is at the end of the day things managed to work out—I got over myself and let someone help me and I had a fun time. I still watched the show at home (which I LOVED) and got time with my friends and everything worked out in the end.

And I’m thankful for that. For all the little things that make my work. And for my friends who help make it work better.