Friday, June 03, 2011

Being Heather Locklear and Other Unexpected Choices

I'm not sure how this happened.

See, back in the 90s there was a little show called "Melrose Place"--about an apartment complex and the people who lived and worked there. Eventually the show expanded to include their careers--particularly Allison's--and that led to the introduction of her boss.

Amanda Woodward.

Heather Locklear broke on to the scene and made a scene as she competed with Allison during their time working at the same ad agency. There were short skirts and thinly veiled barbs, moments of backstabbing and teamwork. At the end of the day only one could be left standing and it would be the older and more worldly Miss Woodward.

I have become the Heather Locklear at my job.

As i have been preparing to wrap up my current show my only thought has been about long summer days of writing and tanning and working out and hanging out. I was and still am excited about a summer I can be a part of more now that BB is out of the picture.

Until the other day.

Walking through the office I ran into a old co-worker from a past show and he asked me for helping finding some people to fill a position. After a long conversation with Nolan about who he might know and possible positions--he asked why I wasn't being considered. It was a fair question and one I didn't know how to answer. Instead I pulled together my resume, sent an email to the old co-worker which lead to a phone call and a quick meeting with his boss. They seemed to like my resume but there was one or two skills I don't have--but it could still happen.

And then it came time to dance around the issue of end dates and commitments. Part of what has been going on at the current show is the slow winding down of work. i still have plenty to do but not so much that if I landed the new job i would be leaving them high and dry. It's something I always try not to do--for various reasons.

When I couldn't get a start date for the new job--if I landed it--I hedged on talking to my current boss about end dates and changing those because I knew I could mess up. The truth is I could tell him that there is little work for me to finish and that they could finish up without me--besides that i would still be at the same company and able to help out if needed. But since the new job had not given me an offer, I didn't want to talk my current job out of keeping me through to the end.

I want my money and be able to spend it too.

So once I knew a waiting game was under way I was okay. But it didn't hit me until then that I was bothered by the fact that I was leaving with no real certainty that I would be asked back to the production company any time soon. And the other guy who does my job is staying being because he is working on the newest season while I wrap up the last two.

Now here's the thing--I like this other guy Ricky. He's nice and eager and he means well--he's also young, not that detail orientated, and can be a bit much. I have no interest in fighting a 24 year old for his job--even if it is acknowledged that I do the job better in every way. I understood that he had been at the show longer and it made since they would try and keep him.

But in the aftermath of the possible new job--I suddenly felt myself annoyed that I was having to wait on things. I want to make plans and move forward one way or another. And the something else happened to push my buttons a bit more.

Ricky took vacation.

Now in freelance vacation never really happens. You usually at your show for such small windows that it is not possible to take time off--much less a week. Ricky had done this before--taking a week off--and while he was gone I was given all of his work and my work and it made me really resentful because I knew he was being kept while I was wrapping up my job. I didn't sign up for two jobs which already were taking 9 plus hours a day and it just smacked of unprofessional-ism.

And then he took a 2nd vacation.

As I said I was already on pins and needles about the entire new job/old job debate and when it was suddenly decided that I would finish up a sizable project of his that had to be done by a certain date--a date he would not be here for--I almost lost my mind and quit. I realized I was trying to fight a lazy 24 year old for a job I was better at and somehow this was supposed to be okay. It just literally broke my spirit for the better part of the day because while I love my job, my co-workers, my boss--the fact that this was happening AGAIN just really sucked.

I don't want to feel like I am better than a 24 year old at my job. I don't want to compete with him but yet I don't understand why i should have to pick up his slack. It's not like he is sick, or taking a day off, or some other major crisis. He just wants to take a long vacation in the middle of a busy production schedule and i am being left holding the bag.

And I am trying not to be bitter or mean but i just feel disrespected by this turn of events. I never understood the character motivation of Amanda on "Melrose" but for the first time I do. I want to speak up and complain about the situation--I want to point out my commitment and the lack of Ricky's but then it all boils down to me versus a 24 year old.

Not something to be proud of.

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