So Much Unsaid.

Things have been weird as of late. Between the random presents from Eddy—who I miss dearly—and Charlotte’s odd behavior post work as well as some friendship issues with Kirby I have been feeling very tied up.

So I have been hiding out—reading books and watching bad television between trips to the gym and bouts of self-reflection. I have been thinking of Irene a lot as of late and really missing her.

I wish I could get over what happened between us—how messy and selfish things got on both of our parts. I wish I had been fairer to her with the work/money/car thing and I wish that she cared about what a bad place she put me in when she pushed me to quit my job. I know I did the right thing but letting go but I have been missing our talks and jokes.
And I feel that I can’t really talk about it with most of my friends because they believe that I did the right thing by ending things—that it was healthier and that I should just realize that it is for the best.

But there has been a lot of talk and thoughts that make me wonder if I was being fair to her or if I was right in my choices. I wonder if I am too hard on people and, by default, myself when it comes to feelings and talk and even my writing.

I just need to take some time to figure it out. At least I have the time right now.