Selfish?

So last night was the first of the 24-hour theatre shows for Fringe Festival. I was surprised at how well the night went—the actors were great, the directors did a better job then I would have thought with some very well defined and complex scripts.

It was amazing to watch how my piece was done with Noel, Gabe, and Julianne able to understand and own the dialogue and develop real moments with each other. Heath did an amazing—if somewhat humorous—job at directing the piece; I could tell that he really seemed to like it and had fun making the piece work.

The best part of watching my piece was that it gave me the faith in the process. After the first show I was in—I have to admit that I wasn’t so sure about submitting again. It was really hard to watch how my pieces were done—how certain elements were misunderstood. It made me doubt my writing—a rare thing. So to see my work done properly and with an element of energy and eagerness, it made me proud.

What I am not proud of was the lack of support from my friends. It was amazing that only one person—Joy—who even bothered to come to the show and I love the fact that she did and that it seemed inspired to her to giving writing for the project a shot. I guess I just get tired of feeling unsupported by the mass of people in my life.

Writing is a very solitary thing—something mostly done alone. So when I get to the point that it is ready to be seen, heard, and enjoyed—it just sucks when my friends don’t want to be bothered. It hurts even more that they seem to put so much effort into other people’s projects. Like Smythee’s film where everyone was willing to get up at 5am to go for a shoot yet they can’t come and sit for an hour of their lives.

But maybe I want too much—maybe I’m the selfish one.