Neuroses—Not Just the Written Kind.

So tonight was a lovely evening. Valeska’s parents are in town and she invited a handful of us to have dinner with them at her newly done apartment. We had homemade lasagna and pie while telling odd little stories. It was quaint and nice.

I always find it weird when I meet my friends’ parents—it’s like seeing another window into their life. Where they looks come from, how they got their values and sense of humor. These are the people who feed them and clothed them, made them play sports or instruments, taught them to drive. They tell the awkward stories and have the embarrassing stories. They have so much they can reveal.

I guess that’s why so few of my friends have ever meant my parents. I worry about what stories they will tell, how they will behave and what they can say about me. Being that I have not always been up front and honest—that they see me still as the lonely, quiet and shy child I was. That somehow my friends will suddenly see me that way…

Nonetheless, the night was fun and interesting. Of course I was little thrown when Nick showed up. I should have known that he would come but I chose not to think about it. Nothing happened that was odd—I just chose to see it that way.

See, I know we are friends and that is it. It shouldn’t mean anything that he stood behind my chair half the night, his hand on it’s back even though there was enough chairs for us all. That he sat next to me have a large point of the evening. That he did boyfriend things that I have wished for from any guy. That he still wants to grab dinner and ‘catch up’.

I know that this is just one of my neuroses, that I’m building sandcastles in my mind. The best part of it all was riding home with Cissy. She picked up on the tension and I told what I was feeling. She laughed at me and said ‘I could see you going out. But not long term.” It was exactly what I needed to hear. Who would have guessed it came from her?