Missing ‘IT’ or Prudes Should Look Away.

I have been missing sex—really missing sex. It’s been about 9 months people—this does not include the blackout sex with the neighbor because I have no memory at all of it—9 months. How did it get to be so long?

Well—Chance is why. (That and working the nightshift.) When I am hearting a guy (not crushing on because this is NOT Sweet Valley High) I tend to go all chaste—I’m saving myself for them in a weird way. I don’t know how I learned this behavior but it is how I operate. I think this is a good thing, the only sign that I have a romantic side at all—to eschew cheap sex for the possibility of making love. We all know how that turned out.

So it’s been awhile. And the other night, it just hit me. Not horniness because that is fleeting and can be ‘hand’led. I just have been having the urge to throw down with someone, just be animalistic and base with another person. So much so that it has shut down my ability to be social. Ruby and Kirby had a ringside seat to this the other night, me just being driven to distraction by (and leering at) a hot Colin Ferrall look-a-like. (I just lost my ability to speak and spent a good 15 minutes imagining me tearing off his little v-neck t-shirt and doing things that Prince would sing about. Really distracted.)

I was accused of being a sex addict, which amused me to all end because I know I’m not. I like it, I find it amusing, and it’s something that I am good at but it does not run my life. It doesn’t give me something that I can’t get elsewhere or need but is just fun.

For some people sex is an answer—it can be a validation of one’s looks, or it can be a sport to see who and how much you can get, for others it can a distraction from life. There are others for whom sex is the big elephant in the room—something not to be talked about or thought about. It’s always making love with the ‘right’ person. I wonder about those people.

I guess I’ve always believed that there are 3 things that make us different than animals—manners, morality, and monogamy. And there is definitely a place for each of them but sometimes you just have to get back to basics. This doesn’t mean I don’t ‘make love’ because I definitely do but there are times when I can’t or don’t.

I guess the difference between the two (for me) is quite simple. Making love is all about the connection with the other person—it’s about the eyes and the lips and the relationship that the couple shares. Sex is all about instinct and natural tendencies—about being 2 hot-blooded mammals craving release. And while you can have sex with someone that you would normally ‘make love’ with—it shouldn’t be the other way. That’s how one night stands and fuck buddies can lead to heartaches.

I guess I just enjoy the challenge of figuring out what turns someone on, getting to the edge of my primitive side, seeing how I can go. It’s not really about me or my money shot but about them and seeing how far they lose themselves. I enjoy being the architect of someone else’s orgasm.
And right now I am missing that edge, that challenge. Lord help the men of Los Angeles.