It’s Not Me—Relief Abounds

So I was blown off again—making it 3 times in 2 days. The plan was that since Wolfman and Ross were in town that we would all go to dinner and then the BR for dinners. Since I had no plan to go to Skylar’s tonight because of the fallout from the blog incident this would be the only time outside of the Super Bowl party that I would get to hang out with them.

Imagine my surprise when I was called around 6 and told that I wasn’t invited to the dinner. Wolfman and Ross wanted to have a small group for catching up and then met up with everyone else at the bar. On one level I understood this but on another I was pissed off—this was 3rd time people!!!

Of course, Edie, back in town and as social as ever, felt that I should just show up at the dinner with her regardless but if I have learned anything from my parents it is not to show where one is not wanted. There was talk about picking me up after dinner to arrive at the bar but as I thought about it I realized that I wanted nothing to do with it.

So often in this group of ‘friends’ I feel left out, ignored and just an extra in the grand scheme of the social whirl. And I was sick of it. I left the house and went for a walk, grabbing a coffee and on the verge of tears. But then I had a moment of clarity.

It’s really not me doing anything wrong—it’s them. They don’t think before they act, they do want they want regardless of my feelings and choose to see me as a brat or bitch when I get upset about things. So after I talked with Edie, I realized that I had no desire to go to the bar. Like I said, I don’t go where I’m not wanted.

Of course she did tell everyone this—choosing to speak for me—and this led to a drunken message from Ross making fun of me. Whatever. I intend to standup for myself because no one else wants to do.

And if not letting them treat me this way makes me a bitch then hand me a tiara and nutcracker. People can’t say they weren’t warned.