32.59 on Porn—Or Karma

I had one of those weird days. I went in for a job interview—but only to help out a friend. Morey from BB needed a logger to fill in for a couple of days and so, in the interest of good karma, I decided to fill him for him. The only thing that was weird was that they really wanted to meet me and interview for what is about 2 days worth of work. I felt kind of put out by.

Nonetheless I went just because. And everything went fine—I’m working for 3 days and they are screwing me on money but it is cool to get some karma for later with Morey. It should be fun and easy and a way to meet more people. That and there is a chance that they may need me back in March. Whatever.

But before I left Mrs. Garrett asked me to do a favor for her. She is working on a student him and they need a prop and she asked if I could pick it up. She gave me a list of magazines and asked if I could pick them up from the newsstand on Laurel Canyon. I said it wouldn’t be a problem because Mrs. G seemed a little stressed and so on. Little did I know.

As I walked in the newsstand post interview, the place was packed. I was annoyed because I just wanted to get home to my fried rice. (Carbs are back people!) I pulled out my list and looked it over—to my surprise it was porn. Straight porn. Not mainstream straight porn either.

So I tried to push through—though it seemed every man under the age of 80 was on lunch and looking at porn. As I tried to find the requested titles, I could feel myself a little queasy. There is something about reaching around men old enough to my grandfather to grab ‘Barely Legal’ that just freaks me out. For all my blasé attitudes, my worldliness, the idea of buying porn still freaks me out. I always have the image in my head of my mother magically showing up and catching me.

This is irrational fear. My mother is on the East Coast, she’s a free spirit who would applaud porn but not as a feminist even though it would normally be men being exploited. That and I was buying straight porn which would be probably shock her back to my pre-gay days so… The fear was worthless.

However it didn’t stop me from feeling odd as I lugged back the porn—32.59 dollars worth. I imagined being hit by a car and my wallet being lost and they could only identify me by tracing the porn back to my credit card leaving my friends with the question—“why was he carrying ‘Barely Legal’?”

The best part was when Mrs. G. confessed that she asked me to buy the porn because she was to. And she thought that I was more than cool enough to do it for her. Little does she know, eh?