The Ghost of Christmas Past—LA style

As the East Coasters sleep in their beds, Rory is still up—thoughts running in his head. (Sorry for the bad poetry—could resist.) Anyways, as I’m on my third beer I can’t help to think about all my holidays here…. My first X-Mass was spent with my Aunt, her 3rd husband and my younger cousins. It was odd because I didn’t know them quite well and was overwhelmed by how they lived. Breakfast with Crystal, caviar and an overworked maid named Conselos. It didn’t help when my mother called and I told what was on the menu—she hates that her sister is rich. Holiday 2 was the holiday where I got so sick on X-Mass Eve that I hid in bed with soup, water and OJ to keep me going. I didn’t go and see anyone because I couldn’t even keep food down. I don’t remember much of it. My third X-Mass was the year I didn’t go anywhere. I was working retail and was working X-Mass Eve as well as the day after so I couldn’t go up the coast with the family. I instead spent the day alone and eating everything in sight and dodging phone calls from family so they couldn’t tell I was depressed. Year 4 was the X-Mass with Emilio—the world’s worst boyfriend. After trying to cook breakfast—yeah, I cooked—I ended up crying briefly in the bathroom. This was followed by Emilio not liking half the presents I gave him and telling me to my face—in a ‘nice’ way. This was then followed my unwrapped present which was tossed at me during a fight. Good times. Year 5 was the ‘we don’t celebrate X-Mass’ with Irene and Naomi. We spent the day at the movies and chased by the Chinese food and random shopping spree. It was fun but odd since Irene didn’t want any mention of the holiday and Naomi being Jewish and not understanding why Irene was upset. I played Rory in the middle. Last year was Drunken Married Sex-Mass. This involved Lizzie, Willis, Bess, Miguel and I getting drunk on X-Mass Eve—this even though I left, had sex with my then-fuck buddy—by playing frat games led by Dax. This was followed by the Chipmunks X-Mass video and lots of porn which resulted in us returning the wrong films. (This doesn’t just happen in films people.) We then went to a dinner party through by our married friends, which was dress up and meant