Like A Twist of a Kaleidoscope
So I have recently restarted on the novel. I hit a huge snag in the spring of last year and put it on a shelf until i could figure out how to best deal with my plot issues. I let the boy read and give notes which helped open up a bunch of doors for me. I picked up where I left off in the story pretty easy after a few days.
And then I hit a wall.
What I came to realize is that I had this HUGE plot device, a high school play, that was becoming more of a burden than a help in the overall story. I just felt it was unfair to have ALL my main characters involved in the play production without being able to have parts of the play in the novel. This wasn't because the high school was doing some established play (Hello copywrite issues) but because the play was a original work for the school and something I felt, as the writer, I would have to explain.
And it was becoming so much of a headache that I was lost and losing ground on the story. But fortunately last night I had a 'lightbulb' moment and figured out how to replace the play with something equally useful as a device without having to scrap the whole story. What is even more interesting is that an old idea, one I threw away, has now been reintroduced in the story as an effective plot element and even led to a couple new stylistic choices.
I feel like with one flick of the wrist I have saved the whole novel and am eagerly rewritting and continuing with my story. It might even be good now!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
What is Your Responsibilty
Question-at what point do you wash your hands of a situation?
Two weeks ago I sent my resume in response to a posting with a reality website. The job wasn't ideal but I figured I needed a job more than anything so I just decided to try and apply. They called me back about a half hour later and we talked about meeting up for an interview. I couldn't do one that day so we made plans to talk on that Friday to schedule up.
On Friday I called into the office, as I was asked, and was told that the woman I was dealing with was busy but we would talk in a few hours. During this time, I went and plotted out my travel time for the trip and even went so far as to make a dry run as I waited for a return call. I never got one and in the meantime I started to feel like maybe it wasn't the right job for me.
After a day of hemming and hawing, Kirby and I talked about it and she pushed me to pursue the job. It was the right choice but I decided that I would wait until they called me back to set up a new apppointment. When I hadn't heard anything by Tuesday I called in and Shirley and I set up an interview for 3 o'clock that afternoon. She was to send me exact directions for the office and so I gathered up my stuff to be ready.
By 2 o'clock I still hadn't heard anything and was freaking out--for me to get to the interview I would have to leave the apartment shortly and was about to just go when I got an email changing my interview to 530. I was a bit annoyed because IO had to email back and request the address again but was good to go.
The interview itself went well; the office was closer than I thought, the vibe of the place seemed cool and I would even be learning anew program as part of the job. Shirley asked me to email another copy of my resume so that she could get the final okay but told me I was pretty much her man. I was the only person they even called in to interview so I was pretty much their only hope.
I have not heard a thing since last Tuesday from them. There is a part of me that says I should call in and check on what is happening but there is another part of me that says I shouldn't have too. They supposedly want me so why do I have to be the one chasing? And if they are this disorganized then do I really want to be a part of this production?
I kind of feel like I should just wash my hands of the whole thing. If they call and hire then I am willing but this shouldn't be my call to make. But I can't help but wonder if I might regret this down the road.
Question-at what point do you wash your hands of a situation?
Two weeks ago I sent my resume in response to a posting with a reality website. The job wasn't ideal but I figured I needed a job more than anything so I just decided to try and apply. They called me back about a half hour later and we talked about meeting up for an interview. I couldn't do one that day so we made plans to talk on that Friday to schedule up.
On Friday I called into the office, as I was asked, and was told that the woman I was dealing with was busy but we would talk in a few hours. During this time, I went and plotted out my travel time for the trip and even went so far as to make a dry run as I waited for a return call. I never got one and in the meantime I started to feel like maybe it wasn't the right job for me.
After a day of hemming and hawing, Kirby and I talked about it and she pushed me to pursue the job. It was the right choice but I decided that I would wait until they called me back to set up a new apppointment. When I hadn't heard anything by Tuesday I called in and Shirley and I set up an interview for 3 o'clock that afternoon. She was to send me exact directions for the office and so I gathered up my stuff to be ready.
By 2 o'clock I still hadn't heard anything and was freaking out--for me to get to the interview I would have to leave the apartment shortly and was about to just go when I got an email changing my interview to 530. I was a bit annoyed because IO had to email back and request the address again but was good to go.
The interview itself went well; the office was closer than I thought, the vibe of the place seemed cool and I would even be learning anew program as part of the job. Shirley asked me to email another copy of my resume so that she could get the final okay but told me I was pretty much her man. I was the only person they even called in to interview so I was pretty much their only hope.
I have not heard a thing since last Tuesday from them. There is a part of me that says I should call in and check on what is happening but there is another part of me that says I shouldn't have too. They supposedly want me so why do I have to be the one chasing? And if they are this disorganized then do I really want to be a part of this production?
I kind of feel like I should just wash my hands of the whole thing. If they call and hire then I am willing but this shouldn't be my call to make. But I can't help but wonder if I might regret this down the road.
The Egg and I
I have always had food allergies since I was a small child; not the normal peanut allergy or the brief milk type but unique and multiple ones. I cannot have bananas, pumpkin, zucchini, squash, yams, sweet potaoes, gourds or avacados. I get hives, I swell up, I turn blue in the face, I get a burning sensation when I come into contact with any of these. It's always been that way and was more diffcult since my parents were basically veggies when I was growing up.
I am used to this shite.
But as of late I discovered something new. The boy and I switched to a new meal plan which is breaks down to being mostly carb free--we eat lots of chicken, red meat, turkey, salmon, eggs, veggies and nuts. It's been hard but finally forced me to cook more and led to me (and him) each losing about twenty pounds. It has been great to have things fit differently, to wear belts and smaller sizes.
But recently something has come up. Early this summer I went to the ER because I was horribly sick; I felt a huge pain in my stomach that wouldn't go away and which they finally told me was type of gas situation. It was gross but it passed and I was fine with almost everything. This was weird though because I usually have a steel stomach and could eat almost anything from hot salsa, peppers, japelenos and even tobasco without batting an eye.
Then the sick feeling started again early this month. I would have breakfast with the boy of eggs and bacon or eggs and chirzo but hours late I would be in miserable pain. It made no sense whatsoover so Johnno and I tried to figure out what was wrong. At first we thought maybe it was the chrizo but I could eat it fine sometimes, then we thought maybe it was the grease from the bacon when we made eggs but then that was fine when I would make bacon to crumble for salads.
So then we started to wonder if we weren't cooking the eggs enough. After one particluar day when I just felt so sick I was unable to even sit comfortably we decided to give one last test. We went out to brunch at one of our normal haunts and I had the usual eggs with cheese and bacon and veggies scrambled in. As we got home that day I was suddenly in such pain I had to throw up my entire breakfast to even be able to try and lay down for a nap. It was horrible.
And so then we took to the internets to try and see what we culd find. Turns out that I may have developed an intolerance to eggs. It's the only common feature in each inccident--that makes me sick and uncomfortable to the point I would lay on the floor in the bathroom and roll on the cold tile.
It sucks because I never really like eggs growing up and had finally seemed to gain a taste for the little suckers. But what is rather odd is that I can still have mayo with things--it just seemed to be any egg dish itslef that causes the problem.
Last thing i need is another food off my menu
I have always had food allergies since I was a small child; not the normal peanut allergy or the brief milk type but unique and multiple ones. I cannot have bananas, pumpkin, zucchini, squash, yams, sweet potaoes, gourds or avacados. I get hives, I swell up, I turn blue in the face, I get a burning sensation when I come into contact with any of these. It's always been that way and was more diffcult since my parents were basically veggies when I was growing up.
I am used to this shite.
But as of late I discovered something new. The boy and I switched to a new meal plan which is breaks down to being mostly carb free--we eat lots of chicken, red meat, turkey, salmon, eggs, veggies and nuts. It's been hard but finally forced me to cook more and led to me (and him) each losing about twenty pounds. It has been great to have things fit differently, to wear belts and smaller sizes.
But recently something has come up. Early this summer I went to the ER because I was horribly sick; I felt a huge pain in my stomach that wouldn't go away and which they finally told me was type of gas situation. It was gross but it passed and I was fine with almost everything. This was weird though because I usually have a steel stomach and could eat almost anything from hot salsa, peppers, japelenos and even tobasco without batting an eye.
Then the sick feeling started again early this month. I would have breakfast with the boy of eggs and bacon or eggs and chirzo but hours late I would be in miserable pain. It made no sense whatsoover so Johnno and I tried to figure out what was wrong. At first we thought maybe it was the chrizo but I could eat it fine sometimes, then we thought maybe it was the grease from the bacon when we made eggs but then that was fine when I would make bacon to crumble for salads.
So then we started to wonder if we weren't cooking the eggs enough. After one particluar day when I just felt so sick I was unable to even sit comfortably we decided to give one last test. We went out to brunch at one of our normal haunts and I had the usual eggs with cheese and bacon and veggies scrambled in. As we got home that day I was suddenly in such pain I had to throw up my entire breakfast to even be able to try and lay down for a nap. It was horrible.
And so then we took to the internets to try and see what we culd find. Turns out that I may have developed an intolerance to eggs. It's the only common feature in each inccident--that makes me sick and uncomfortable to the point I would lay on the floor in the bathroom and roll on the cold tile.
It sucks because I never really like eggs growing up and had finally seemed to gain a taste for the little suckers. But what is rather odd is that I can still have mayo with things--it just seemed to be any egg dish itslef that causes the problem.
Last thing i need is another food off my menu
Monday, October 26, 2009
Ten Things Learned
So I went to a Hollywood Hills Halloween party--friends of Edward and Vivian's were hosting and the girls (Kelly, Valeska, Ali, and Lola), the boyfriend (Johnno) and I hopped in a taxi, costumed, and pre party tipsy. It was different the usual Detriot Street Halloween (which is next weekend) in that it was a set of brothers, Greg and Wayne, who were frat boy type friends of Edward's so the vibe was guarenteed to be unusual. I have hung with the brothers before but it's hard to get a read on whether they like this group--and I am not sure but suspect that I and Johnno might be their token "gay friends".
That all said--I did learn the following ten things.
1) Straight boys always seem to think it is the late 80s, early 90s when it comes to music. One is assured to hear Bizmarkee, Young MC as well as early Biggie, Tupac and Snoog multiple times at said party.
2)If the hottest guy at the party is in his speedo in the hot tub it is your duty to find your boyfriend, your best friends, your roommate and the two girls you always see at random parties to help enjoy the view.
3) Nobody uses Grey Goose, Sky or Absolute Vodka in their jelly shots ergo any jelly shots you take will be made with cheap ghetto vodka. Forewarned is forarmed.
4) Douche bags belong alseep in the closet at the end of the night.
5) Tying a corset is hard regardless of the condition of your hands.
6) Never put your lighter on the edge of a balcony at a party with drunken slutty girls in costume. It will ALWAYS be knocked off the ledge and impossible to retrive.
7) At some point your body will decide it is time to leave--go before the party turns all tranny-like and hot mess laden.
8) NEVER DRINK GATORADE AND BOOZE TOGETHER. (Most people learned this in high school but some people still have to be schooled.)
9) Your boyfriend can throw up out a cab window effortless and should be rewarded by making sure the cab driver does not notice.
10) Never trust a drunk girl when she promises she can get herself and your friend home. She cannot handle this task and you will be called out on this decision
So I went to a Hollywood Hills Halloween party--friends of Edward and Vivian's were hosting and the girls (Kelly, Valeska, Ali, and Lola), the boyfriend (Johnno) and I hopped in a taxi, costumed, and pre party tipsy. It was different the usual Detriot Street Halloween (which is next weekend) in that it was a set of brothers, Greg and Wayne, who were frat boy type friends of Edward's so the vibe was guarenteed to be unusual. I have hung with the brothers before but it's hard to get a read on whether they like this group--and I am not sure but suspect that I and Johnno might be their token "gay friends".
That all said--I did learn the following ten things.
1) Straight boys always seem to think it is the late 80s, early 90s when it comes to music. One is assured to hear Bizmarkee, Young MC as well as early Biggie, Tupac and Snoog multiple times at said party.
2)If the hottest guy at the party is in his speedo in the hot tub it is your duty to find your boyfriend, your best friends, your roommate and the two girls you always see at random parties to help enjoy the view.
3) Nobody uses Grey Goose, Sky or Absolute Vodka in their jelly shots ergo any jelly shots you take will be made with cheap ghetto vodka. Forewarned is forarmed.
4) Douche bags belong alseep in the closet at the end of the night.
5) Tying a corset is hard regardless of the condition of your hands.
6) Never put your lighter on the edge of a balcony at a party with drunken slutty girls in costume. It will ALWAYS be knocked off the ledge and impossible to retrive.
7) At some point your body will decide it is time to leave--go before the party turns all tranny-like and hot mess laden.
8) NEVER DRINK GATORADE AND BOOZE TOGETHER. (Most people learned this in high school but some people still have to be schooled.)
9) Your boyfriend can throw up out a cab window effortless and should be rewarded by making sure the cab driver does not notice.
10) Never trust a drunk girl when she promises she can get herself and your friend home. She cannot handle this task and you will be called out on this decision
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Playing House
The week before Halloween is always so busy for me between juggling costumes and planning I find myself suddenly busy and all over the place. And this past week has not been any exception. But what has been odd is the boy has been over to the Dollhouse every night thus far this week--since last Friday.
It is weird--I find I am the type person who needs alone time; time for DVR and face masks, closet time and singing all with my itunes as I bounce around the apartment either in sweats or overly dressed. But instead I have found myself making dinners and lounging on couches for sitcoms and reruns with the boy as we craft and laugh and cuddle. It's like living together without the lease or the bills or the worries.
I'm not sure how it makes me feeel.
The week before Halloween is always so busy for me between juggling costumes and planning I find myself suddenly busy and all over the place. And this past week has not been any exception. But what has been odd is the boy has been over to the Dollhouse every night thus far this week--since last Friday.
It is weird--I find I am the type person who needs alone time; time for DVR and face masks, closet time and singing all with my itunes as I bounce around the apartment either in sweats or overly dressed. But instead I have found myself making dinners and lounging on couches for sitcoms and reruns with the boy as we craft and laugh and cuddle. It's like living together without the lease or the bills or the worries.
I'm not sure how it makes me feeel.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Somewhere Unfamilar
Johnno fell down the stairs tonight. It was an accident and my fault--we were throwing out parts of our halloween costume and I took him out a different way than nomral and he couldn't see.
My heart stopped.
It was one of those loud and heavy falls where you just eat the pavement and all you can do is just take a second and ctach your breath. But I felt my heart freeze up because I heard the sound and didn't see it and when I turned around I felt myself just go stone cold. I was almost sick.
But he is fine--he dusted himself off before standing--and yet I felt as if everything wasn't.
I have been dealing with a lot of my crazies as of late--jobs and friends and money and art and a million small cracks in the looking glass--and this just shook me up more. I don't think I knew until recently how poorly I handle change because I am so good at chaos that I just kept associating the two when they are not the same. Chaos is fast and in your face, it requires quick thoughts and snappy wit or reflexes and candor but change, true change, is slow and small and creeps in behind the scenes. It replaces each part of the stage until the scene is different while chaos is like a fire or a tidal wave that just happens and you have to fight to stay above it.
But the most crazy thing is the boy. Everytime I think I have a grasp on what I feel about him and where it could be going (Thanks Sex In The City for that) I find myself somewhere new and different. Having him fall in front of me made me so upset and the depth of that feeling took my breath away. I actually had to hold on to him for a moment until I could believe he was okay and thus taken in air again. We walked hand in hand back to is car and hugged a bit longer before he drove off.
And as I headed back in I wondered if I had felt this deeply before. He is not the first boyfriend, not the first time I used the love word, not my only prospect for the future and yet it feels different. But then I wondered if that was genuine because every time I have given my heart, on some level, I have believed that to be the case. And yet, once you break up and go through all the shit and the strife and the drama and depression somehow that feeling ends up being boxed away. Sometimes it is the friend's box--that you can still make room in your life for each other--and other times it's the box you leave on the curb--for the trash collector.
But I am being to see that it is more than that. That Johnno means so much to me that for a moment tonight my world stood still at the end of him not being in it. This has never happened before, never been that shaken by something so throughly, and I did not like the novelty of this feeling.
And it made me realize that I have been making myself too crazy when it comes to us. That on some level, it is enough for him to be in my world because the idea of him not being there makes mine cease to exist. I don't know who or what this makes me outside of changed.
Maybe there is something to that.
Johnno fell down the stairs tonight. It was an accident and my fault--we were throwing out parts of our halloween costume and I took him out a different way than nomral and he couldn't see.
My heart stopped.
It was one of those loud and heavy falls where you just eat the pavement and all you can do is just take a second and ctach your breath. But I felt my heart freeze up because I heard the sound and didn't see it and when I turned around I felt myself just go stone cold. I was almost sick.
But he is fine--he dusted himself off before standing--and yet I felt as if everything wasn't.
I have been dealing with a lot of my crazies as of late--jobs and friends and money and art and a million small cracks in the looking glass--and this just shook me up more. I don't think I knew until recently how poorly I handle change because I am so good at chaos that I just kept associating the two when they are not the same. Chaos is fast and in your face, it requires quick thoughts and snappy wit or reflexes and candor but change, true change, is slow and small and creeps in behind the scenes. It replaces each part of the stage until the scene is different while chaos is like a fire or a tidal wave that just happens and you have to fight to stay above it.
But the most crazy thing is the boy. Everytime I think I have a grasp on what I feel about him and where it could be going (Thanks Sex In The City for that) I find myself somewhere new and different. Having him fall in front of me made me so upset and the depth of that feeling took my breath away. I actually had to hold on to him for a moment until I could believe he was okay and thus taken in air again. We walked hand in hand back to is car and hugged a bit longer before he drove off.
And as I headed back in I wondered if I had felt this deeply before. He is not the first boyfriend, not the first time I used the love word, not my only prospect for the future and yet it feels different. But then I wondered if that was genuine because every time I have given my heart, on some level, I have believed that to be the case. And yet, once you break up and go through all the shit and the strife and the drama and depression somehow that feeling ends up being boxed away. Sometimes it is the friend's box--that you can still make room in your life for each other--and other times it's the box you leave on the curb--for the trash collector.
But I am being to see that it is more than that. That Johnno means so much to me that for a moment tonight my world stood still at the end of him not being in it. This has never happened before, never been that shaken by something so throughly, and I did not like the novelty of this feeling.
And it made me realize that I have been making myself too crazy when it comes to us. That on some level, it is enough for him to be in my world because the idea of him not being there makes mine cease to exist. I don't know who or what this makes me outside of changed.
Maybe there is something to that.
It's The Thinking That Kill It
I have been frozen in place as of late. I have been trying to put off serious decisions by surrounding them with so much claptrap that by the time everything is settled the time for action has passed. This is not a good thing.
Last week I submitted myself for a job; not a job I wanted but a job I figured I should go after. It isn't what I want, it is more like a step backwards, so I found myself creating ways to hesitate. I did the bare amount of effort and then put the ball in the hands of the other party to ensure that I didn't have to make a choice. This is not smart for a bunch of reasons; finanical, careerwise, and lifestyle but i seemed unable to stop myself.
And now I feel guilty and worried and have to see if I can fix things. But the truth is I know what I need to do but I am scared and spoiled and being selfish. I don't know where this all came from but it is making me into someone I know I am not. I just have to push myself to remember how hard I can fight and what I am fighting over.
Just trust and go forth as oppossed to navel-gazing. It's hard
I have been frozen in place as of late. I have been trying to put off serious decisions by surrounding them with so much claptrap that by the time everything is settled the time for action has passed. This is not a good thing.
Last week I submitted myself for a job; not a job I wanted but a job I figured I should go after. It isn't what I want, it is more like a step backwards, so I found myself creating ways to hesitate. I did the bare amount of effort and then put the ball in the hands of the other party to ensure that I didn't have to make a choice. This is not smart for a bunch of reasons; finanical, careerwise, and lifestyle but i seemed unable to stop myself.
And now I feel guilty and worried and have to see if I can fix things. But the truth is I know what I need to do but I am scared and spoiled and being selfish. I don't know where this all came from but it is making me into someone I know I am not. I just have to push myself to remember how hard I can fight and what I am fighting over.
Just trust and go forth as oppossed to navel-gazing. It's hard
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
What A Difference...
A day makes... I was feeling down and out of sorts yesterday--so much so that I was kind of put off by myself. But today somehow seemed to make everything better--I sent emails, made plans, caught up with old frineds by both phone and mail and pushed myself.
I managed to put in a full solid work out, took some long over due pictures to make a contest deadline and finally managed to plot out then next 6 chapters in my unfinished novel. I feel reengerized and hopeful that I can make things happen again.
I feel like a real Rory again.
A day makes... I was feeling down and out of sorts yesterday--so much so that I was kind of put off by myself. But today somehow seemed to make everything better--I sent emails, made plans, caught up with old frineds by both phone and mail and pushed myself.
I managed to put in a full solid work out, took some long over due pictures to make a contest deadline and finally managed to plot out then next 6 chapters in my unfinished novel. I feel reengerized and hopeful that I can make things happen again.
I feel like a real Rory again.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Pushed More than Pulled.
It's been a hard week or so for me. It is no particular thing, no easy to blame drama or tactile event. I have just been out of sorts and burning myself alive with doubt and unease. I'm not sure where these feelings have come from or how to handle them but I know i have to figure something out, some way of control myself because it is not making me happy. It's like I am somehow afraid and uncontrolable.
And I have been all over the place. One minute I am having a grand time out for Edward's birthday between drinks and dancing and laughing but then next day I am all on edge because I am not on my way to Costo. I feel this strange lack of control and it scares me because it is my most fatal flaw--that feeling at loose ends and a victim of circumstance is the deepest most heartfelt fear of mine.
And it is holding me in place--it keeps me from working on my writing, makes me edgy and off-kilter with the boyfriend, makes me feel frozen in place with everything even when I know what I want. That I want to connect to people, that I want to have a real date with the boyfriend and not hang around the house all day, be someone who when people ask about me I can say interesting things because I have done them.
I want to feel like things are under my control, to be someone who makes things happen instead of feeling like someone who has things happen to him. I want a life and well-rounded because I am pushing myself and not being pushed.
But how to make this happen?
It's been a hard week or so for me. It is no particular thing, no easy to blame drama or tactile event. I have just been out of sorts and burning myself alive with doubt and unease. I'm not sure where these feelings have come from or how to handle them but I know i have to figure something out, some way of control myself because it is not making me happy. It's like I am somehow afraid and uncontrolable.
And I have been all over the place. One minute I am having a grand time out for Edward's birthday between drinks and dancing and laughing but then next day I am all on edge because I am not on my way to Costo. I feel this strange lack of control and it scares me because it is my most fatal flaw--that feeling at loose ends and a victim of circumstance is the deepest most heartfelt fear of mine.
And it is holding me in place--it keeps me from working on my writing, makes me edgy and off-kilter with the boyfriend, makes me feel frozen in place with everything even when I know what I want. That I want to connect to people, that I want to have a real date with the boyfriend and not hang around the house all day, be someone who when people ask about me I can say interesting things because I have done them.
I want to feel like things are under my control, to be someone who makes things happen instead of feeling like someone who has things happen to him. I want a life and well-rounded because I am pushing myself and not being pushed.
But how to make this happen?
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Mystery Solved
Thanks internets!
We Are the World Lyrics
There comes a time when we heed a certain call (Lionel Richie)
When the world must come together as one (Lionel Richie & Stevie Wonder)
There are people dying (Stevie Wonder)
Oh, and it's time to lend a hand to life (Paul Simon)
The greatest gift of all (Paul Simon/Kenny Rogers)
We can't go on pretending day by day (Kenny Rogers)
That someone, somehow will soon make a change (James Ingram)
We're all a part of God's great big family (Tina Turner)
And the truth (Billy Joel)
You know love is all we need (Tina Turner/Billy Joel)
( CHORUS )
We are the world, we are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day so let's start giving (Michael Jackson)
There's a choice we're making we're saving our own lives (Diana Ross)
It's true we'll make a better day just you and me (Michael Jackson/Diana Ross)
Well, send'em you your heart so they know that someone cares (Dionne Warwick)
And their lives will be stronger and free (Dionne Warwick/Willie Nelson)
As God has shown us by turning stone to bread (Willie Nelson)
And so we all must lend a helping hand (Al Jurreau)
( REPEAT CHORUS )
We are the world, we are the children (Bruce Springsteen)
We are the ones who make a brighter day so let's start giving (Kenny Logins)
There's a choice we're making we're saving our own lives (Steve Perry)
It's true we'll make a better day just you and me (Daryl Hall)
When you're down and out there seems no hope at all (Michael Jackson)
But if you just believe there's no way we can fall (Huey Lewis)
Well, well, well, let's realize that a change can only come (Cyndi Lauper)
When we (Kim Carnes)
stand together as one (Kim Carnes/Cyndi Lauper/Huey Lewis)
(REPEAT CHORUS AND FADE )
(additional ad-lib vox by Bob Dylan, Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, Bruce Springsteen, James Ingram)
Thanks internets!
We Are the World Lyrics
There comes a time when we heed a certain call (Lionel Richie)
When the world must come together as one (Lionel Richie & Stevie Wonder)
There are people dying (Stevie Wonder)
Oh, and it's time to lend a hand to life (Paul Simon)
The greatest gift of all (Paul Simon/Kenny Rogers)
We can't go on pretending day by day (Kenny Rogers)
That someone, somehow will soon make a change (James Ingram)
We're all a part of God's great big family (Tina Turner)
And the truth (Billy Joel)
You know love is all we need (Tina Turner/Billy Joel)
( CHORUS )
We are the world, we are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day so let's start giving (Michael Jackson)
There's a choice we're making we're saving our own lives (Diana Ross)
It's true we'll make a better day just you and me (Michael Jackson/Diana Ross)
Well, send'em you your heart so they know that someone cares (Dionne Warwick)
And their lives will be stronger and free (Dionne Warwick/Willie Nelson)
As God has shown us by turning stone to bread (Willie Nelson)
And so we all must lend a helping hand (Al Jurreau)
( REPEAT CHORUS )
We are the world, we are the children (Bruce Springsteen)
We are the ones who make a brighter day so let's start giving (Kenny Logins)
There's a choice we're making we're saving our own lives (Steve Perry)
It's true we'll make a better day just you and me (Daryl Hall)
When you're down and out there seems no hope at all (Michael Jackson)
But if you just believe there's no way we can fall (Huey Lewis)
Well, well, well, let's realize that a change can only come (Cyndi Lauper)
When we (Kim Carnes)
stand together as one (Kim Carnes/Cyndi Lauper/Huey Lewis)
(REPEAT CHORUS AND FADE )
(additional ad-lib vox by Bob Dylan, Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, Bruce Springsteen, James Ingram)
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Remember My What?
So Kirby, Wynona, Johnno and I went and saw the remake of 'Fame' this past weekend. WIthout giving away too much of the plot, I would have to say that your time and money would be better spent on buying and rewatching your own copy of the original film. There's nothing hugely wrong with it--the cast is mostly okay (I love the actress who played Joy! But the actor who played MArco couldn't be less effective), the directing is pretty much by the numbers (Nothing super exciting but nothing god awful) and the dancing is impressively done (Which speaks to having a former 'So You Think You Can Dance' star in the cast) but the story is so lacking any bite, any heat, any energy of the original.
Now I knew that this would not be as strong as the first film with it's PG rating (The original was rated R) but I was suprised at how weak and disconnected it was. Between obvious plot points with certain characters, another character being sued shamefully because the film makers didn't know how to handle his character and a story so dismantled you didn't even know who half the characters were at points--just a total failure. (The best part is at the end when they flashed up a cast memeber and NONE of the people I was with remembered her having a character in the film!)
At the end--this Fame is not worth remembering, Debbie Allen has only TWO scenes in the whole film and your time could be better spent watching clips on You Tube instead.
But Kelsey, Megan, Bibi and Charles each have great moments in the film. But that is because they are actors who can overcome bad material.
So Kirby, Wynona, Johnno and I went and saw the remake of 'Fame' this past weekend. WIthout giving away too much of the plot, I would have to say that your time and money would be better spent on buying and rewatching your own copy of the original film. There's nothing hugely wrong with it--the cast is mostly okay (I love the actress who played Joy! But the actor who played MArco couldn't be less effective), the directing is pretty much by the numbers (Nothing super exciting but nothing god awful) and the dancing is impressively done (Which speaks to having a former 'So You Think You Can Dance' star in the cast) but the story is so lacking any bite, any heat, any energy of the original.
Now I knew that this would not be as strong as the first film with it's PG rating (The original was rated R) but I was suprised at how weak and disconnected it was. Between obvious plot points with certain characters, another character being sued shamefully because the film makers didn't know how to handle his character and a story so dismantled you didn't even know who half the characters were at points--just a total failure. (The best part is at the end when they flashed up a cast memeber and NONE of the people I was with remembered her having a character in the film!)
At the end--this Fame is not worth remembering, Debbie Allen has only TWO scenes in the whole film and your time could be better spent watching clips on You Tube instead.
But Kelsey, Megan, Bibi and Charles each have great moments in the film. But that is because they are actors who can overcome bad material.
22 is An Odd Number
22 pounds. I have lost that much since starting the diet back on July 5th. It doesn't really feel like that much between my face feeling fat but I think it is an age thing then a fat thing--I don't know. But things fit different, I have to be careful when I order things on line because they don't fit (too big), I put on things that I wear all the time but now look better than ever. It is good.
And the boyfriend has done even better than me--he has lost notciable weight in the face and has gone down a level in the Wii Fit weight scale. We both still talk about food we miss but somehow we both push each other along. It helps that we now have the meal plan on lockdown. (Step one? Don't call it a diet) I have become used to cooking my meals and maing recipes (!!!), making sure I eat enough of the better things and listening to when my body is hungry and feed it right then. I feel like I am getting better.
But I still feel like I have a long way to go. I have to rebalance my workouts now that I no longer have the BB gym, work on my sleeping schedule and remember to walk everyday for at least 45 minutes. This only works if I can keep up the effort and remind myself what it is all good for.
To beat that damn Wii Fit more than anything.
22 pounds. I have lost that much since starting the diet back on July 5th. It doesn't really feel like that much between my face feeling fat but I think it is an age thing then a fat thing--I don't know. But things fit different, I have to be careful when I order things on line because they don't fit (too big), I put on things that I wear all the time but now look better than ever. It is good.
And the boyfriend has done even better than me--he has lost notciable weight in the face and has gone down a level in the Wii Fit weight scale. We both still talk about food we miss but somehow we both push each other along. It helps that we now have the meal plan on lockdown. (Step one? Don't call it a diet) I have become used to cooking my meals and maing recipes (!!!), making sure I eat enough of the better things and listening to when my body is hungry and feed it right then. I feel like I am getting better.
But I still feel like I have a long way to go. I have to rebalance my workouts now that I no longer have the BB gym, work on my sleeping schedule and remember to walk everyday for at least 45 minutes. This only works if I can keep up the effort and remind myself what it is all good for.
To beat that damn Wii Fit more than anything.
Back to the Regular Scheduled Rory
So I have been wrapping up loose ends and this one fell completely off the screen. Between ending Big Brother, going to the wrap party (Unoffical) for Big Brother, a dinner for the 15th anniverary of 7th Floor Charlesgate, Jewish New Year's bar night and a slew of boring personal things I have finally been able to get myself all caught up.
I dealt with termites in the apartment, a broken dishwasher, a broken internet, a plumbing issue, a credit fraud issue and finished closing out all my paid off credits cards. I have made overdue phone calls, sent well expired thank you cards for gifts and birthday cheer and even managed to upgrade my itunes AGAIN.
These are all the reasons I have not been here. But I is back and will continue to better for the foreseeable future.
So I have been wrapping up loose ends and this one fell completely off the screen. Between ending Big Brother, going to the wrap party (Unoffical) for Big Brother, a dinner for the 15th anniverary of 7th Floor Charlesgate, Jewish New Year's bar night and a slew of boring personal things I have finally been able to get myself all caught up.
I dealt with termites in the apartment, a broken dishwasher, a broken internet, a plumbing issue, a credit fraud issue and finished closing out all my paid off credits cards. I have made overdue phone calls, sent well expired thank you cards for gifts and birthday cheer and even managed to upgrade my itunes AGAIN.
These are all the reasons I have not been here. But I is back and will continue to better for the foreseeable future.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Christmas Lights
I feel like I have been surrounded by Christmas lights--pretty colors, flattering lighting and a more than slight distraction. It might be with the show ending or just the general ennui of life changes but I find myself out of sorts. It's not that I am not doing what I want or how I want it but more that I don't really know the answer to the question.
For so long I have been so sure but as of late I have been less than hundred percent when it comes to going and getting what I want. It is mostly because I just don't know what it is--and it bothers me. I have always felt that to be happy you have to be going after things with passion, with gusto, and balls to the wall.
But right now I am not sure what that is for me. It is very jarring to feel a bit useless and uncertain after all this time--I mean, I have a great place, good friends, an amazing boyfriend but I still feel like I am somehow without a paddle.
I am even using boring turns of of phrase. I don't know
I feel like I have been surrounded by Christmas lights--pretty colors, flattering lighting and a more than slight distraction. It might be with the show ending or just the general ennui of life changes but I find myself out of sorts. It's not that I am not doing what I want or how I want it but more that I don't really know the answer to the question.
For so long I have been so sure but as of late I have been less than hundred percent when it comes to going and getting what I want. It is mostly because I just don't know what it is--and it bothers me. I have always felt that to be happy you have to be going after things with passion, with gusto, and balls to the wall.
But right now I am not sure what that is for me. It is very jarring to feel a bit useless and uncertain after all this time--I mean, I have a great place, good friends, an amazing boyfriend but I still feel like I am somehow without a paddle.
I am even using boring turns of of phrase. I don't know
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
It Is Whatever You Want It to Be
I have been a bit bored lately--the show is wrapping up, lots of parties that seem to blur into one and another after a certain point and am just going through the day to day of the diet and working out and avoiding the heat. It is as exciting as it sounds. But all that being said, i kind of can't wait to be unemployed again.
I mean it will be all about working on the book (with notes from the boys), coffee with the kids during the week, working out more than twice a day, making time for wine with friends who have office hours and cleaning out y closet between bouts of calls with my mom and various others on the to call list.
But I am looking for things to get excited about. New music? Books to read? Anything that is not tv?
suggestions and stuff....
I have been a bit bored lately--the show is wrapping up, lots of parties that seem to blur into one and another after a certain point and am just going through the day to day of the diet and working out and avoiding the heat. It is as exciting as it sounds. But all that being said, i kind of can't wait to be unemployed again.
I mean it will be all about working on the book (with notes from the boys), coffee with the kids during the week, working out more than twice a day, making time for wine with friends who have office hours and cleaning out y closet between bouts of calls with my mom and various others on the to call list.
But I am looking for things to get excited about. New music? Books to read? Anything that is not tv?
suggestions and stuff....
Sunday, August 23, 2009
This is Why I Love Him
Now I don't like to get gifts for my birthday--I would rather live things with my friends then get things from my friends--but the boyfriend is still rather new to the game so I had to let his gifting go because he meant well.
Now on my actual birthday he gave me a nice bottle of scent; one that I actually love and hadn't replaced recently just because I kept forgetting. I was happy with the gesture and figured that would be the end of it. So I was a bit surprised, and embarrassed, when at the bar I found that he had more gifts for me. That being said, I always seem to not remember how much he does get me and my sense of humor.
Why? Because for my gift Johnno gave me a bedazzled (by hand) yamaka as a nod to my past when I was thought to be a Jew at my old job. He then followed this up with the prayer list that I would need for my Bar Mitzvah as well as a copy of Jewish Time for me to read. This really cracked up Joy because he actually spelt out my name in Hebrew on the yamaka in brightly colored beads. It was a good gift but then he really surprised me with a group gift that he came up with on the fly.
Back when we were first chatting on-line, flirting in circles and sharing stories, we had a long talk about how we both had played a lot of truth or dare Jenga back in college. (If you are unfamiliar with this game--it is simply taking a Jenga game and writing various truth or dares on the induvidual pieces. It can be quite fun). So imagine my surprise when I opened a new boxed verison of Jenga--but the actual game had already been opened. I was pleased but confused
Johnno then explained that he had spent the better part of the night at the bar getting all my various guests to make up their own true or dares for the game and even tried to get Edie to text one back from Hastings. It was really cool gift and I was touched to have something that everyone had been apart of. When the boy gets it right, he really gets it right.
PS The best dare in the game "Create a video game based off your favorite literary character, get said game devolped in foreign countries in a bid to be famous." I almost fell of my sit laughing at that one.
PSS I also feel bad for whomever sits to the left of anyone when playing this game--they will end up with licked faces and lap dances. Good times.
Now I don't like to get gifts for my birthday--I would rather live things with my friends then get things from my friends--but the boyfriend is still rather new to the game so I had to let his gifting go because he meant well.
Now on my actual birthday he gave me a nice bottle of scent; one that I actually love and hadn't replaced recently just because I kept forgetting. I was happy with the gesture and figured that would be the end of it. So I was a bit surprised, and embarrassed, when at the bar I found that he had more gifts for me. That being said, I always seem to not remember how much he does get me and my sense of humor.
Why? Because for my gift Johnno gave me a bedazzled (by hand) yamaka as a nod to my past when I was thought to be a Jew at my old job. He then followed this up with the prayer list that I would need for my Bar Mitzvah as well as a copy of Jewish Time for me to read. This really cracked up Joy because he actually spelt out my name in Hebrew on the yamaka in brightly colored beads. It was a good gift but then he really surprised me with a group gift that he came up with on the fly.
Back when we were first chatting on-line, flirting in circles and sharing stories, we had a long talk about how we both had played a lot of truth or dare Jenga back in college. (If you are unfamiliar with this game--it is simply taking a Jenga game and writing various truth or dares on the induvidual pieces. It can be quite fun). So imagine my surprise when I opened a new boxed verison of Jenga--but the actual game had already been opened. I was pleased but confused
Johnno then explained that he had spent the better part of the night at the bar getting all my various guests to make up their own true or dares for the game and even tried to get Edie to text one back from Hastings. It was really cool gift and I was touched to have something that everyone had been apart of. When the boy gets it right, he really gets it right.
PS The best dare in the game "Create a video game based off your favorite literary character, get said game devolped in foreign countries in a bid to be famous." I almost fell of my sit laughing at that one.
PSS I also feel bad for whomever sits to the left of anyone when playing this game--they will end up with licked faces and lap dances. Good times.
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