Ten Things Learned

So I went to a Hollywood Hills Halloween party--friends of Edward and Vivian's were hosting and the girls (Kelly, Valeska, Ali, and Lola), the boyfriend (Johnno) and I hopped in a taxi, costumed, and pre party tipsy. It was different the usual Detriot Street Halloween (which is next weekend) in that it was a set of brothers, Greg and Wayne, who were frat boy type friends of Edward's so the vibe was guarenteed to be unusual. I have hung with the brothers before but it's hard to get a read on whether they like this group--and I am not sure but suspect that I and Johnno might be their token "gay friends".

That all said--I did learn the following ten things.

1) Straight boys always seem to think it is the late 80s, early 90s when it comes to music. One is assured to hear Bizmarkee, Young MC as well as early Biggie, Tupac and Snoog multiple times at said party.

2)If the hottest guy at the party is in his speedo in the hot tub it is your duty to find your boyfriend, your best friends, your roommate and the two girls you always see at random parties to help enjoy the view.

3) Nobody uses Grey Goose, Sky or Absolute Vodka in their jelly shots ergo any jelly shots you take will be made with cheap ghetto vodka. Forewarned is forarmed.

4) Douche bags belong alseep in the closet at the end of the night.

5) Tying a corset is hard regardless of the condition of your hands.

6) Never put your lighter on the edge of a balcony at a party with drunken slutty girls in costume. It will ALWAYS be knocked off the ledge and impossible to retrive.

7) At some point your body will decide it is time to leave--go before the party turns all tranny-like and hot mess laden.

8) NEVER DRINK GATORADE AND BOOZE TOGETHER. (Most people learned this in high school but some people still have to be schooled.)

9) Your boyfriend can throw up out a cab window effortless and should be rewarded by making sure the cab driver does not notice.

10) Never trust a drunk girl when she promises she can get herself and your friend home. She cannot handle this task and you will be called out on this decision