Happiness

I know I owe a more substantial blog--I should be talking about ER visits or the boy or how I redid the living room because I was bored or how I am 98 percent sure of where I will be this summer. I could talk about giving up caffiene or eating crap all week, about the lives of the Dollhouse or how much time I have spent watching 'The Game' on BET.

Instead I spent my night standing on my little porch, with a glass of white wine in one hand and a smoke in the other, and just let the Santa Ana winds blow over me as I stared up into a clear sky and followed the moon. About how I let a feeling of contentment wash over me as I felt the cool breezes ruffle my hair and drit smoke out past my line of vision. How happy I felt with my lot in life; with the friends I am blessed to have, the boyfriend who has become my most favorite person I know, to have a career that I love and a life I live on my own terms. That I am so fortunate to be able to lead a life of such simple pleasures and one of my own choosing.

That I could say that I was 100 percent happy. No questions or qualms, no self doubt or lingering questions. That if I had die in that one instant I could say I had it amazing.

I could say I was able to hold happiness in my heart.