Who Needs a Doctor?

So I spent sometime in the ER this week. Long story short--I had a bit of a tickle in my throat for the ost part of last weekend but by Friday had ended up in the grip of full blow illness. I was feverish, crabby and at times cranky as I spent most of the day bedbound. Normally I would have told the boyfriend to stay away but he and I had plans with his friends--a rarity--so I felt guilty about having to pass. So i told him to come over post dinner so he could see for himself how sick I was. And that I could make him bring soup.

See, i have this thing about being independent which roughly translates to 'I don't need you'. I'm not sure if I gained this trait from my childhood, from my parents or various events that have happened in Los Angeles but whenever I feel weak and out of it I prefer to go it alone. But I let my guilt about having to cancel my plans trump my need to be alone. And so Johnno came over.

Which ended up being a great decision. Bceause as the weekend continued I felt still worse and worse and the boy had to put up with cranky, messy, achy Rory and managed to handle it without leaving or killing me. (which amount to really the same thing at this point.) He was good at giving me space if I needed it, trying to come up with new ways to help me and was the one who finally convinced me that I needed to head off to the ER Monday morning.

And that is where he was a really champ. Whenever I get to that point I tend to become a bit unglued between my fears and my crankiness and my worries about how bad things could get. I become my least flattering verison of myself and someone that I wouldn't spend time with--if I had a choice.

And the boy handled it beautiful. He let me be panicked within reason, he made smart choices when I felt I couldn't but most of all he didn't take it personal that I might have felt the need to send him away. He was supportive of not only me but my need to be independent if I needed it. Johnno was the perfect mix of there and gone--hands off but only far enough away to catch me if needed.

It made the whole weekend worth it.