Sometimes I Wish…

So tonight was lovely; an intimate dinner with Joy of coffee, sandwiches and cigarettes in the outdoors. I can’t even remember the last time we hung just the two of us—we spoke of jobs, our friends, her boyfriend, San Francisco and just enjoyed each other’s company. When I thought about why we hadn’t done this more; I saw that it was my own fault.

I realized that so much of my social life in Los Angeles is limited; not only by the car issues but by the games and the drama. There is a pecking order of sorts based on who’s closer to who, significant others, singles/coupled, and whomever is in the dog house. Sometimes I feel judged for the company I keep closest, for being single, for being male, for who my roommates are, for being gay. I hate that we all hold these things against each other and while some people have genuine problems, the rest of us are guilty by default.

The thing is, I believe that my life is filled is great people with big hearts and sensitive egos. I wish that we were all kinder to each other, more forgiving and able to see that some of things we hold against each other won’t matter down the road. I’m not saying I’m not guilty of the same faults but sometimes I wish we could all get past them. I think we would all be happier.