Drinking Helps?

I’m amazed by my ability to drink vast amounts of hard liquor and not feel anything the next morning. As matter of fact I woke up and realized I needed to write first thing which is rare and random for many reasons. But I get ahead of myself.

So last night I went to Fuel to have a drink and be around the boys of Studio City for a handful of reasons; because of Chance and how he made me feel, because I needed to get out of the house, because I just found out that my days off from ‘Big Brother’ are Wednesday and Thursday so I wanted to see what the scene was like for a Wednesday. Nonetheless I made the scene and started slamming rum and diet cokes like Karen Allen in “Raiders of the Lost Ark”. Why, I’m not sure.

It’s weird to watch gay men in bars. I guess going places alone makes one more observant and so I watched the various groups as they talked and caught up and flirted across the bar. Though it was a slow night there was a vibe of ‘who do you know’ and ‘what group are you with’. I felt strangely alone but a part of things. I didn’t talk with anyone really but the bartender who was enjoying me slamming drinks.

After a bit I left the bar and made my way home—which is when things getting interesting. I decided I need some water and carbs so I made my way to 7-11. As I picked my way through the power bars and South Beach products one of my neighbors came into the store. Mohawk Boy—new to the building and someone that Jac and I have talked about several times. He’s cute and seemingly friendly and we’ve seen each other around the building several times.

As he was talking with 7-11 boyfriend (long story that I am ashamed off) I made my way up with my purchases (pizza because I was that crunked) and we struck up a conversation. Nothing huge but he was drunk to and so we chatted for a bit. I guess the conversation went well because he asked me to wait for him and we walked home together. And that talk went really well because he invited me into his place and we talked for quite a bit. Just talked (really) as I played with his dogs and briefly saw his other roommate.

Why is any of this important? I’m not sure but I feel a little less lonely. Maybe this is the start of the changes that I need. That opening up is helping me be more able to approach new things, which I need. Now whether we talk again or if it means anything at all will become obvious down the line. I hope it does.