When Does Hip Become Hypocrite?

Okay. I know I shouldn’t be writing about this. I’m supposed to be better than this—over all the past shite—and have moved on with things. But really, I’m not going to let this slide, if only because I catch myself thing about it very so often.

See, I went to a party on Saturday night that I swore up and down I wasn’t going to go to and I had this moment where I was wondering if I was being fair. I mean, the party was at Skylar’s place but the event was for Ernie (Yeah name change) and so I felt compelled to come after last year’s Super Bowl disaster. I guess it wouldn’t seem like such a big deal but there’s history behind my feelings.

Way back in the day—Skylar and I were pretty social and hung out every so often, enough to say hi and have a small talk or two. At lot of our relationship had to do with his dating Eddy and me being her roommate but regardless; we got along somewhat. Yeah, there was a bit of snipping back and forth but for the most part things were good.

It wasn’t until the aftermath of his and Edie’s break up that things started to become strained between us. I admit that I had a HUGE part in the change in our relationship though I really did try to work things out with him. I guess I just wanted to be considered an equal, which I never stood a chance at being.

Things quickly blew out of proportion—a blog entry, a comment there—which lead to us just both being done with each other. It went unsaid but was understood. We didn’t go out of our way to talk or invite each other to things but rather we maintained a code of silence that seemed to work.

I did try to fix things for a little while but when I realized that he didn’t care about where we stood I just was over things. So much so that I decided that I didn’t need to make any effort at all with him-for good or bad. I even started avoiding events at his house because I felt it was hypocritical for him to invite me out of obligation but even more hypocritical for me to show up.

So how did I end up at his new place this weekend? It wasn’t because he invited me—Kelly did that—but because I felt bad that lat year I ignored Ernie because he was staying with Skylar. I made my way to the party with Johnny and Kelly just to try and catch up with Ernie and to see what happens.

Skylar was friendly and nice to me; we had a brief conversation in the kitchen, as well as a scolding talk about my part in Ernie’s adventures in the reading nook. It was actually more fun than I expected and possibly more fun than I deserved. I was surprised but a lot of what happened at the party but mostly because he seemed up to have me there.

So why do I think I’m a hypocrite? I had a conversation with Ava on the balcony about how our group seems to work and how hard we tend to be on each other. That I try to understand where people come from and not where I want them to come from. But if that is the case then why have I been so hard on Skylar? And should I still be? No.

I guess that is where the hypocrite comes in.