The Return of the Blog

I’m back. I needed a couple of days to realize what this is all about. To figure out where this all fits in my life—it’s purpose as it were. I spent the last few days mulling it over and all the different reasons I write here and came to a few realizations.

1) That I am more supported than I thought. A number of you, in various ways, helped me whether it was comments here, e-mails sent privately, phone calls or long coffee talks. Each of you gave insights and helped clear out the drama and bring in the important elements.

2) I reread the whole blog. This helped me to see not only the all the bad elements that have been brought to my attention via the drama but also all the ways it helped me to change. I also didn’t realize I used the word ‘yikes’ as much as I do.

3) That I had to put all the drama in perspective. That it wasn’t so much about my relationship with Skylar—or rather that if it was that important then we both would have chosen to discuss it in person than through gossip, blogs and 2nd party actions. That it was more about one person’s choice to try and hurt both of us and not us choosing to hurt each other.

4) I had to own up to the possibilities that by writing about my life, and the people in it, that this situation could happen again and how I would handle that possibility in the future. That I have to trust that people who I care about will give me the chance to explain myself and allow me to falter.

5) That I need my blog. So many times in the last few days I have wanted to write and post and didn’t. I was surprised by how much this bothered me and kept me on edge. I lost my space where I sort my head and I need it. That this blog gives me perspective and discipline as well.

And that’s why I am back. Hopefully this can all make me try for better posts. Hopefully.