What Happens in Vegas…

So in about 24 hours I will be getting myself ready for my last journey into bedlam and mayhem with Vegas as the final destination. As such I much as there are other places I need to go and people to visit (you know who you are) I realize that with my vampire lifestyle that Vegas is the place to be. Rocking at 3? No problem…

As a Vegas survivor many times over I find it helps to have a list of things I won’t do so here’s my dirty dozen…

1) Go to the pool without shaving my chest—sure it makes me look like a potbelly pig but it’s all about grooming and up keep people…

2) Attack Tina for voting for Bush when drunk….

3) Discuss Perry’s sex change AT ALL.

4) Be the boyfriend for any of my girls when in trouble—in other words no cockblocking the ugly or the rowdy,

5) Swipe knife to gag on to make myself throw up outside the America restaurant. (Long story.)

6) Not be shocked when Perry uses the men’s room.

7) Be concern about anyone’s behavior beside my own.

8) Grope my bedmate while passed out.

9) Allow anyone to wear stripes and plaids. (Long story)

10) Drunk dial Chance.

11) Take any porn while on the street and instead yell, “I’m gay”.

12) Be the barometer for any of the girls—you know, the girls judge the guy by cool if he talks to their token ugly, fat or, in my case, gay friend