Not Primm or Proper…a Prisoner of Vegas

One might imagine that it is crazy fun being trapped in Vegas—especially due to rain and snow on the 15 back to LA. And it would have been if we hadn’t already said our good byes to sin and decadence.

But as I flipped to EMT Rory (Emergency Management Trainee Rory) we quickly doubled back to the strip and began to make a plan of action. Lola’s sister Rocky and her boringboy Eugene were spending the week in Vegas and had just arrived before we checked out of our hotel so we decided to look them up. The point of this way to see if we could crash on their hotel room for the night in case things got crazy with all the trapped people in town.

The rain was pounding as we parked in the rooftop garage of Luxor and we piled out of the car. Lola and I, in our slap-happy mood, skipped in the pouring rain up to the doors as Angel made calls to get work covered for her as well as let her mom know what was up. Lola and I let Angel play the adult for a bit as we laughed our way through the casino in sunglasses and wet t-shirts.

Eventually we realized that Rocky and Eugene were off at the buffet and Lola went to deal with them as Angel and I discussed the various plans for the up coming night. I tried calling Kelly to let her know what was up but had little luck getting hold of her. Angel and I talked about random things we could do to stay in Vegas—friends of friends, older relatives, and maybe strange boys.

Lola eventually returned—looking annoyed—and rounded us up as she explain that Rocky and Eugene were being too couple-y and we needed to find somewhere else. Quick side note on Rocky and Eugene—they are one of THOSE couples that even though the honeymoon phase is over they still hang all over each other and have eyes only for each other. This would be fine if they seemed those type of people but they don’t when single and it’s annoying. What makes it worse is that they are the couple that asks you to go out to dinner since they haven’t seen you in awhile and make you feel like your on “Third Wheel” as they kiss and feed each other in public.

So nonetheless, I was happy we weren’t crashing with them and we made our out into the rain once again. The roads were becoming flooded and so we pulled into the closest cheapest hotel—Excalibur anyone? —and waited in the line for the valet. During this time I decided to try and make the most of our adventure and came up with a song to sum it all up—

(Sung to the melody of R. Kelly’s ‘Bump and Grind’)

I don’t see nothing wrong with another buffet
I don’t see nothing wrong chasing it with tangeray
I don’t seen nothing wrong going home with this guy who might be gay
I don’t see nothing staying in Vegas another day…”
Having made the turn into madcap farce we hit the Excalibur and the girls quickly jumped in line for a hotel room while I hit the bar for a beer. The girls scored a cheap room and we once again settled in for another night of strange beds and endless possibility. We settle into PJs and watched a little “Viva La Bamm” as we half napped and talked about boys, Joy and Trucker. We were little bitches.

Eventually Kelly called and Lola offered the room to her and her 2 stranded friends—Kelly seemed cool about it so we stayed in our room to wait for them to get over to the casino. Of course—three hours later—we received a phone call that they had booked their own rooms elsewhere and were going off to meet boys and go back to the Nine Fine Irishmen. This was annoying since we stayed to meet up with them and so we were in a nasty mood.

We dressed up and hit the casino floor to try and have some last minute Vegas fun. This plan was ruined by meeting up with Rocky and Eugene who wanted to “hang out”. We found them cuddling in the MGM and dragged with us as we scored dinner. Dinner was awkward because it wasn’t that good and didn’t help that Rocky and Eugene weren’t listening and instead fed each other desert. We ditched them as quickly as possible and Lola, Angel and I hit the strip alone.

Because of our grumpy tired moods we just really wanted to find someplace chill to sit and hang out. It didn’t help that I was freezing and had no jacket at all on me, that it was Sunday so weird things were closed and Lola and Angel were both just Vegased out.

But we are nothing if not resourceful and we found a small little piano bar in our hotel and had the best moments of the weekend with bloody marys, dirty martinis and lots of talk about boys and sex and kissing and all the good stuff. This was the true moment when I realized that I really liked both girls—before the trip I knew of them but now I felt I knew them and really liked them.

This also led to the best putdown of the weekend—“You’re such a bitch!” “What? Did I make you wait in the hotel room 3 hours then go off to meet boys at the Nine Fine Irishmen?” Funny stuff and proved that these girls had the wit to hang with me.

Bed that night was fun as we talked and joked and made each other laugh into the early morning. We woke up and packed up and were ready to hit the road and get home. Phone calls were made about work and classes as we made our way to the freeway. Imagine our surprise that 15 was still closed.

We made the obvious choice to go to Primm and shop while we waited out the road reopening. We shopped like the Hilton sisters (2 dress shirts, 2 ties, a baseball cap and a cute cowboy shirt) and dared to eat at the Primm casino. We discovered that Primm is where hookers go to die and that grandpas like Brittney Spears hats. We also decided that we should open our own buffet in Vegas—the Bikini buffet where swimsuits are required and one can get half shirts that say “I went to the Bikini Buffet and all I got was this food baby”. Funny as we even took a picture of dirty mullet and Grandpa Spears—it was good times even though Kelly called to complain about her driver home through the Indian Reservation.


Eventually the road opened—thanks to the salesgirl at American Eagle for giving us the heads up—and we made our way home in record time. It was the type of Vegas trip that will live as one of the best. I got some new Sistahs, some cool clothes and learned a lot more about Primm than I wanted to. Good times ladies, good times.