It is staring at me...

There is a boxof blue hair color just staring at me. It is sitting on the edge of the table, the elephant in the room, waiting for me to sack up and just do it. I know I want to--always have ever since Ryan Phillepe in "Playing By Heart". But for some reason...I hesitate.

I'm not sure why that is--why out of all the weird funny crazy things I have done that this should be the line dare not crossed. It feels more like a statement then anything I have done and I am not sure what the statement means...

But I do know how it will be read. As a gay thing... Whenever Ido something different or odd it is thought to be a gay thing. The nose ring, the snarky t-shirts, the badtv movie lines, the kissing boys (well, okay, the last does count...) But it seems everything I do something outside the box that it comes back to that.

I would like to believe that I would always be the same person regardless of whom I bed... ButI don't think many people allow me that lattuide in life and I am not sure how I am supposed to feel about that. Really now...

SO instead I match glances with a box, not a even a living thing and debate what is going to say about me... Sigh... How pathetic is that?