Confessions of a GAP... Just Call Me Rory Kane

By Rory Lapointe
I have always loved soap operas. I grew on a heavy diet of General Hospital, Santa Barbara and even Sunset Beach and a little guiding light. I learned much from this unsentimental education and have used these lessons well in life. I don't mean waiting for a sweet prince to stumble in or a nice wedding or having an evil twin but sensible things like how to get what you want by using looks, brains and a I-am-the-world motivation. What this means is that I have studied the best divas on the air. Erica, Lucy, Rev and even a little bit of Gina. Women who are smart, crafty and even a little bit much at times. And these traits are one that I have eagerly absorbed in my system. Not blackmailing or man stealing, mind you, but the ability to decide what you want and have a single minded plans to get it. Which brings this to Libbs. Libbs is the super hot tape master at my current job. Blond, blue eyed and a fashion sense that rivals my own. He is kind, sweet, funny and even a little bit wicked at time and I made the conscious decision to figure out to make him mine. It started in the simplest of ways; finding out his last name (Christian...) his e-mail, work schedule and even his home address. Now before you think stalker I would like to point out that this information is just for a base background on what I am dealing with. Not to call his house, not send scary e-mails but to learn little details. Like the type of neighborhood he likes, whether he is funny enough to have a cute e-mail address or even when I should dress more alluring. Now, with this information the game was in play and I began to start to make myself noticed. Comments about his neighborhood like talking about cute coffee houses in the area and then Libbs says something like "Oh, that's by my house." And I look surprised and say something like "really?" I look much more naive than I am and so this approach works well. I notice little things as well. A good diva-villain notices not only their surroundings but also the unspoken. The ring check on his hand (nothing) the cute picture of the love interest (nada) or even the type of music he listens to. All these tiny details can add up to big ways to save time when I like someone. I don't want to chase after people in relationships or even a metrosexual straight boy. So gathering details can save me time and effort because no one wants to be the gay guy eating out his heart over something he can't have. I noticed little things like the script that is always on his desk (which he wrote and make me even more into him) and the fact that he likes chocolate covered cherries. (Cute) I was able to engage him in conversation about writing and managed to in a random way tell him about my writing too. He was interested and we talked for about a half-hour. Now before you judge my tactics I would just like to say that as gay and lesbians become more mainstream it is harder to pick ourselves out. I mean, it used to be hankies, freedom rings and other easy to spot fashion accessories or tattoos. But now living in a culture exposed to lesbians on daytime, gay in prime time and even out actors and homoerotic subtext in films (hello, "Lord of the Rings") it gets harder to know for sure. And, regardless of place or timing (unless it's a sex club) it is not a good idea to ask someone's sexual preference. It's just rude. So at the end of the day, that's why I do the things I do. I don't want to waste my time or make someone uncomfortable because they are not on my team. Or if they're in a relationship. Or just incompatible. And so I used my skills learned from the halls of daytime's best-- know what you want, find the ways to make it happen and never waste your time. Because there is nothing worse than giving yourself away to the wrong people. Oh and by the way, Libbs didn't know what I meant by being published in "XY". So I guess I am not going to waste my time anymore. That's what Erica would do.