So Skylar and Penn have a big shiny agent..... Found this out last night at Kelly and Lizzy's Monday Night Madness.... Now before anyone assumes that I have sour grapes about this new deveolpemnt.... I don't. I guess my problem is in how the whole event was handled. They made the announcement in a big way, champaigne toast and all. The room cheered them on, a slight speech was made... And this pissed me off....

I guess it is mostly because in my group of friends there is a pecking order of sorts, a line-up to popluarity, who gets supported and who doesn't. If Skylar has a screening then we all to be there but no one buys or even borrow's a magzine if someone's been published. It's just that the first time I was published nationally, in a sizable magazine, no body bottered to pick it up and only a handful even read it. I am sure of this and each time it has happened since then, the reaction has been similar. I don't want to make a whole lot of noise but it is a big deal that I did those things--had that level of success... All on my own, people writing me to say how it touched them and most of my friends can't be bothered.

And it hurts. To feel that one's art is as an important as anothers. That people just don't care, or can't be bothered to put in some effort. I think what I did was hard, important and special..... All I ask is that my friends respect that. And I do know that on some level they do but.... (It has also occured to me that the boys showed up with the champaigne, chose to make the huge effort... And then I'm the drama queen....the one who tries to hard.... go figure...)

I guess the upside is that this iccident has fueled the fire, the "bring it on" sentiment within myself.... I am a better writer, I already have done more and now I will get back into the game full time. I will be bigger than they can even dare to hope to be... So I guess it is on!!!!