So, I'm home for a week right now.... Home being the East Coast, Backwoods Massachuttes, next to protected wetlands and half-hour to the New Hampshire border. And it is as exciting as it sounds....

It's odd to realize that within my first three days here I have regressed back to a light-weight version of my high school self--the only self that my family seems to truly understand. Even though that person has been gone for the last nine years of my life. What is more disturbing is how quickly I have allowed myself back into that role, how easy it is to just be what they want me to be. What they need me to be.

I guess on some level it makes me sad, to realize how much of my life they don't know, don't understand, don't ask about. Part of me knows I could try harder, push the issue... But I don't want to have to spell things out for them... (yes, I'm still gay and it's not going to change anytime soon... Well, unless I met Liza Minelli....She seems to like gay men.....) I don't want to justify Los Angeles... (The weather, that's why I stay... Cause rain is just so inconvenient.... That's the only reason... You watch the news.... You know all the problems there..... Traffic, the governor, gangs... Thank God that CNN and MTV are able to define my city for me... I'm too traumatized to express myself....) But I also wonder why I don't want to push things with them. Try and make them understand.....

Maybe it's because I am finally AN ADULT!!! That I am able to LIVE MY OWN LIFE, free of their JUDGMENTS!!! Or maybe it is something more dark and depressing than that. I do have a theory but I also have a brunch with my Great Aunt, Step-Grandparents and other people waiting in the jury pool that is my family versus the State of Rory Lapointe.