Okay....after readjusting to Los ANgeles... I have realized the five following things...

1) That true love exists.... Ruby and Heath's weddinh was everything it was supposed to be; magical, funny, touching and very much about their love... That even though it was crazy and stressful at times that evryone had fun and could see the love that they share. And that, for me, is amazing and important to know.

2) That seeing my little baby sister for first time has soon me sevral things... That one, I will be going home more often because that little girl is more than enough of a reason to get on a plane. That I still want children and will never settle for a situtation or with someone where that is not possible. And that life itself is a beatiful thing and I have to thank her for reminding me of that...

3) That my mother understand more than I have given credit for. Talking with her yesterday made me realize that we all have some verison of that self doubt, some verision of second guessing. That the one thing we can hold to is the believe that things happen for a reason and that those dreams we have as a child change for the better. That there are paths of happiness that some that young can't see and not to use that as one's standard for sucess or failure.

4) That I can chubby again... My brother told me I looked better than the last time he saw me, that I need more weight on my frame. That my mother and him both thought I was too skinny... I felt like Bridget Jones for a moment; she gets to keep the weight, the smokes, the booze and the guy. However I would still Like to drop 14-20 pounds...

5) That I have to believe in magic... My friend Lizzy said that was the one sign that things were not going to work out with her ex Reggie.... That he didn't believe in magic.... (By magic, I am refering to fate, destiny, karma, what have you...) That I have to believe that things happen for good reason and that things will work out... That I should go for the long shot job, I should meet up with Cord though I feel ugly at the moment, that I should try for the world and believe that it might possible to get some of it.... Thanks for reminding me of that, my grown up Punky....