You Always Think There Is More

So I start a new job tomorrow--which means I should already be in bed by now. But instead I have spent my day trying to get all the things done that I thought i had more free time to do.

When you work free-lance you get used to a certain set time management routine. You spend the first few weeks sleeping in, catching up with old friends that got ignored due to the schedule of work, watching tv and promising to get back on the work out routine.

And then you get a routine of sorts; you workout for an hour or so everyday, you spend your days on-line catching up on the various things you missed, you have a handful of romantic nights to make up for what you missed out on, you clean out your closet. And then it happens.

You suddenly get a job.

And you spend the last few days trying to wrap up things you forgot or the promises you broke. You realize you should have written more, spent more time reading the classics, dropped of your dry cleaning, cleaned out your kitchen's "spice rack". You try and jam in all the forgotten chores to make up for the nerves that come when you face a new job.

You try to not worry if you are good enough for the position, if you will fit with the production, if you will be able to charm people and create new connections. You instead plan out outfits for upcoming parties, spend everyday with plans to hang out, you try and make sure that you cover all your bases.

And then suddenly its time for bed and you realize you haven't blogged in awhile so you stay up late instead of tucking yourself in. It's a noble waste of time but still a waste of time.