It's Less Sleazy then It Seems.

Ok--truth time. Part of the reason I was so bummed about things with the apartment is that I knew that being trapped in a hotel meant I couldn't see Sam. And since this was his first night back in town, there was no guarantee that that would even happen or that he would even call. But even if he did call, I wouldn't be home to answer so we wouldn't be able to talk which is-was-very upsetting. I just wanted to hear the sound of his voice.

So I e-mailed him and the girls my hotel and room numbers so they could call me and I could play coy with my motives. I was just laying all alone in my king-size bed, flipping through bad tv and missing my orange walls and art prints when the phone rang. It was Sam, eager to see me, not jet lagged and happy sounding. I hesitated before explaining where I was--the irony of the 3rd date in a hotel room when we are not having sex was not lost on me.

But I threw caution to the wind and before I could even try to get ready Sam was here. He was at my door with cute hair, a cuter scarf, and the cutest little bounce in his step. And I realized he missed me like I missed him and we fell on each with lips and jokes and sentences--just amazing.

And I had him stay the night for kissing and hugging and cuddling--there was a bit more but we are still virgins in the eyes of the most major religions. It was joyful and nifty and swell but the best part is we slept well together. We cuddled and held hands and nestled into each other less like spoons and more like a Chinese puzzle box. Each move was hard to make but opened up another hidden part of whom we are in relation to each other.

Words and glances and slight sighs were exchanged till early dawn until there was this moment when everything skipped for me and I realized that this is not 'just some guy'. Not that he ever really was 'just some guy' but now I'm starting to own up to what that means. Really.