Am I Normal?

Solitude does strange things to you. I guess feel like I haven’t seen much of anyone in awhile and it makes me over think things. The state of my life, where it is going and how it all works out. I know that I’m not perfect but I just wonder how far I am from it.

And this is not about my friends or being fat or worrying about money or how much I have to write or do. I just wonder what is going on and what it all means. Whether I am happy or should I be making changes or what I really am going after and how I can get. I find myself comparing myself to my parents and my friends and most of all my own goals.

These thoughts came from various places—from the success of my last 24-hour show and seeing exactly what I want on stage with the help of my dearest friends Ruby and Kirby and what that means for my next step. Whether to do a play or a full-length script and where it can go from there. How my thought process might be skewed from all my nit picking and neuroses that come through not only in my writing but also in the things I do. If I am capable of going after a relationship at all even though I have learned that the type of guy I like does exist and while I might never be with the guy who showed me that I know that he can’t be the only.

I wonder if I am normal and doing things the right way or just think I am. But what worries me most is that when I sit down to think it through I don’t know what that word truly means. Maybe there is no ‘real’ definition and that is what worries me most. If I don’t know what it is then how can I get it?